Week 6 of Treatment

“You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave……..”  

Monday 23^nd February – Dishing out the booze & finishing early. 

A pretty poor night, up at 1.30am & again at 4am. Meds needed both times, that’s the first time I’ve used Morphine during the night for quite some time. Poor old Max was in the wars this morning, couldn’t hear out of his left ear, he claims it isn’t mud in there from yesterday, but I’m not convinced! Dr’s reckon it’s just a build up of wax, session of drops followed by a good old syringing in a couple of weeks should solve it.

My appointment with Scary Spice went ok(ish). She’s concerned that my kidney function isn’t perfect & a final session of Chemo would have a further adverse effect on it. We discussed in detail the pro’s & con’s on having the final session or calling it quits now. Her advice, which I of course follow, is to bin the final session scheduled for tomorrow. She admitted that she didn’t expect me to get through all 6 sessions anyway & was surprised I’d made it to 5. As Cookster reminded me later, it was just like tours of old, he’d crash by 5 on the Friday, I’d be out by 3 on the Saturday J 

So tomorrow will just be RT, but I’ll drop into the Chemo ward with cakes & Moet for Frances. The dietician was with Scary again today. She seemed quite impressed that I ate most of a roast last night, & that I’m trying to vary the diet away from just soup as exercising the muscles in the jaw is important apparently. I’ve lost a bit more weight, despite eating like a front row forward for the last week. I’m not concerned, I can’t stick any more calories inside me at the moment than I already am & I’m still heavier than when I was originally diagnosed in December so there is sod all I can do about it at this late stage of treatment.

My throat feels pretty raw today, the voice is as croaky & weak as it’s been so far. Scary asked what I’d been up to at the weekend. When I mentioned I’d spent most of it at OBR watching rugby her eyebrows lifted in that “You are a twat at times” look J I think I placated her & Jo somewhat with the bottles of fizz. We discussed what I’d be doing once treatment packs in on Friday, her idea is pure rest for 14 days, do sod all! I did say that I was planning on tiling the ensuite bathroom floor, she reckoned that wasn’t the brightest idea as dust will be a problem, I’ve asked her to put it in writing that I shouldn’t be involved in any DIY projects for the next 2 years or so. One thing I am promising myself that I’ll do whilst I’ve some time & the energy returns is to get out into nature with the camera. We’ve some lovely places in Berkshire & I’ve become quite lazy with my photography, concentrating almost entirely on rugby. A mate of mine is off on a Rugby / Gastro tour to Rome at the weekend, lucky sod! I’m lending him my old EOS20d. When I upgraded to the 7d I bought a 50mm f1.1:8 II lens to go with the old body in the hope that one of the kids may get interested in the art. Whilst charging up the batteries for the weekend I played about with the lens, god it’s sharp & I love the speed. Roll on some bright sunny days & the beginning of spring to bring out the colours.

I decided against asking for photos of Scary, Jo & the Nurses for a couple of reasons. Firstly it probably sounds a bit pervy! “Hello, can I take your photo to stick up on a web based blog please?” & secondly most of the names I’ve used in the blog for people I’ve met at the hospital have been made up as if this ever gets further than just a blog I wouldn’t want folk to be identified. Sticking their mugshot up for all to see wouldn’t have been a clever idea.

Tuesday 23^rd – This is now getting painful.

Well I may be close to the end of the treatment, but that was probably the worst night’s sleep I’ve had since being diagnosed. Woke at 12.50am & didn’t really get back to sleep. I have my own rule, if the time begins with a 5 I may as well get up as I know I won’t sleep any further. I seemed to have lots on my mind last night. Treatment, recovery, family, work & other inane rubbish that meant sleep just couldn’t arrive. I was also aware that the skin around my neck was feeling very tight & sore. Looking in the mirror this morning I could see that the skin is beginning to crack around the treatment area. I was warned that this could happen, but has hoped to have got away with it. Oh well, massive amounts of e45 cream & polo necked sweaters for a while.

It was quite a strange morning as despite my Chemo being cancelled I still went in early to St Edwards ward as I had a large tray cake to give to the nurses, I didn’t think they’d want to wait until 4pm when my RT is scheduled. I also dropped off the bottle for Frances. I’ll admit I took the easy way out, I left the gifts at the ward reception rather than going to the nurse’s station. I’ve had enough damp eyes this week, it’s only Tuesday.

Things Not to Do When You’re Tired, Emotional & Full of Morphine :

·         Use Heavy Machinery.

·         Drive.

·         Make life changing decisions.

·         Go to the barbers & ask them to shave all your hair off!

My scalp has been getting quite itchy & irritable for a while, so in typical Clark fashion I thought “Sod it” shave it all off!! I think it looks ok, & at least it’ll grow back. I’ve been going to the same barbers on & off now for about 20 years, it’s next to Sweeney Todd’s Pie Shop too. The same bloke has being doing the honours for a few years if he’s in. The usual welcome & he mentioned I sounded a bit croaky, so I explained the situation. Turns out he was at RBH Cancer Centre on Monday with his wife who’s undergoing treatment. The more people I meet & talk about cancer to, the more I find are directly impacted by the horrible little bastard. A few hours at home watching Breaking Bad & then back up to RBH for RT. I feel really rough today, Chemo would have been a real struggle to cope with. A mail from CNS Jo confirms she’ll be calling next week to discuss how I’m getting on, she also warns that things will get tough from now on in, I reckon my body is now reading the script that they’ve written for me. I’ve managed to get through 27 of the 30 scheduled RT treatments, if there were many more I’d really struggle. Today has been as tough a day since I started. Eating is almost impossible, as is drinking fluids. My throat is beginning to have a say in how my day will be. Morphine & I are on intimate terms, meeting every 4 hours for a quick chat. Hopefully the advice that you fall asleep before you OD is correct.

This song was about drugs - He Knows You Know

Wednesday 24^th –  “Nothing to see here folks, move along now.”

Ok, I can confirm that you fall asleep before OD’ing J

Early RT this morning with the 8am kick off session. The RT Nurses are pretty clued up, they knew as soon as they saw me today that I wasn’t in a great place. I really am counting down the days until this first set of treatment is over. It’s almost a case of do whatever I need to do, whenever I need to do it & however I need to do it just to get through to Fridays final session. That may sound a bit dramatic, but I’m feeling so low at the moment. I was watching an episode of Breaking Bad this morning, at one point the main character was discussing his cancer treatment & he came out with a cracking quote – “Too tired to eat, too tired to work, too tired to like, too tired to make love”. That line was written by someone who’s been through treatment.

The “Man that can” came round to mend the dent I’d put into Octi whilst high as a kite a couple of weeks ago. He’s done a great job on it, you can’t tell I smacked it at all. Max’s ear seems to have improved so we’ll be off to rugby this evening, I need to see Big Pete about something & could really do with getting out of the house for even a little while which doesn’t involve a visit to RBH (Probably contradicts all I’ve just written above, but I did say I was a bit screwed up at the moment).

I’ve never been a “hairy” person, never been able to do Movember or anything like that, but it seems that the RT has put paid to any hairs growing around the top end of the right side of my neck now, that’ll save me micro-seconds each morning shaving, every cloud………….

It was bloody freezing up at OBR this evening. The Colts played a controlled match against the U16s. When I left the Colts were being shown up big time by their younger brothers. If they play with that attitude on Sunday it’ll be a cricket score to Bracknell in the League fixture.

I’m afraid that I really broke down this evening.  I tried to have some scrambled eggs & just couldn’t get it down. Floods of tears of frustration, pain & “Because I can” fell. I feel so sorry for Carol having to put up with this crap at the moment. It’s even becoming a challenge to get the protein shakes down without a lot of pain being incurred. I guess it’s been building up for a couple of days now. Knowing that things are going to go downhill over the next 10 days is beginning to really tell on me. I won’t have the comfort & distraction of taking myself off to RBH daily. And as a mate mentioned today, I won’t have the chance to chat to the folks I’ve been treated with over the past 6 weeks. Albeit there seemed to be a new bunch of scared faces on RT this morning.

Thursday 25^th –  On a scale of 1 > 10, today was a crap!

Thursday merges out of Wednesday as one. I’d been up every two hours, unable to sleep & in a lot of pain. I couldn’t swallow, even water is a problem. I certainly couldn’t eat. I gave up on bed at around 5.30am & just started writing, writing, writing.

A fairly long & at times emotional meeting with Kate for RT today. She’s concerned about my weight, now under 80kg’s for the first time since treatment started, that’s over the 5% loss threshold, however she acknowledges that at this late stage there is little that can be done. She’s made me promise to do a minimum of 6 protein drinks a day & to top up with some real food as & when I feel up to it. She even suggested eating in the middle of the night if my throat feels ok at that point. I’m increasing my Meds now too. 5ml of Morphine every 4 hours, & then every two hours between 10mls paracetamol, hopefully the combined effect of the two will create a plateau rather than the current peaks & troughs of pain.

I get the feeling that today could be the pattern going forward for the next couple of weeks. Lying on the sofa watching TV & dozing. If that is the case then this blog will become even more boring, it’s unlikely I’ll continue in the present format of daily updates posted weekly. I think I’ll probably just write down how I’m feeling about things, & any major updates. I’ll probably go slightly “off piste” too on other subjects.

Carol is out for the evening with friends from work, going to Zizzi’s in Reading, hope it’s better than the last time we went there, service was appalling. Max’s ear is playing up again, but I suspect that won’t stop him eating the stuffed pasta, ribeye & mushroom sauce I’ve made for him. That’s about the most creative I’ve been today, opening the fridge door & seeing what is close to its sell by date. An evening dozing on the sofa, early to bed to avoid sleep again. Today hasn’t been good. Not enough fuel taken on board & perhaps too many drugs taken. Tomorrow will be better.

Friday 26^th –  Dream On

I’m finishing the first part of this blog with a link to my favourite song of all time, Aerosmith’s “Dream On”, this goes back over 20 + years when a very good friend of mine was killed in a car crash, this was the song we used to play when driving around together. The lyrics perhaps aren’t ideal for someone who’s planning on being around for a good while longer yet, but ho di hum!

30 days, 30 RT's, 5 Chemo's, 46 cups of cappuccino, 25 bacon rolls, 4 almond croissants, 7 cups of tea, numerous bottles of water, loads of shuffled music, about 6 books, a few tears, loads of laughs, quite a lot of pain, a tattoo, shed loads of drugs, new friends made, a couple of friends lost along the way. That’s the planned treatment now completed. It wasn’t quite as emotional as I thought it would be. I was in early, the girls kindly took some shots of the treatment for me 

 & then before I knew it they were unclipping the mask for the final time. They did ask if I wanted to put it in a bag, no way!!! I’m proud of getting this far, so I walked out with my mask under my arms & a smile on my face. I didn’t get to see Julia I’m afraid, I’m not sure what treatment she was on today, but I’m sure I’ll catch up with her at Scary’s clinic at some point.

I’ve managed to get some scrambled eggs down my throat today, so that’s a good sign. I really want to try and have a normal day if I can. The weekend is going to be a good one. No match for Rams this weekend, shame as momentum is a good thing, but I guess the guys need a rest. Also no games at OBR tomorrow as Bracknell pulled out of the league fixture last night. The Six Nations being back after a week’s break, England need to perform against Ireland better than they have in their two previous matches. We’ve friends round for dinner on Saturday night, then the Rams Colts are playing Bracknell in the league at OBR on Sunday. I’m not going to overdo things this weekend, I promise. J

Reflections – 6 weeks ago when I started the treatment I didn’t really know what to expect. I’m pretty sure I didn’t realise just how tough it was going to be, both physically & mentally. From reading through the blog it’s easy to see just how tough the last couple of weeks have been, but I’ve got through them & I’m going to pat myself on the back for doing that. I hope that the last few weeks have taught me to be a less judgemental person, to be more tolerant, to be a bit more understanding of others. I’ve managed to “do” just about everything I would normally have done over the last 6 weeks. I’ve pushed myself too far on only a couple of days. I’ve not become tied to the house, nor addicted to NetFlix. I’ve realised that Carol, Anna & Max are pretty darn good to have as your family. Finally, the 100’s of messages I’ve had via either this blog or Facebook / Twitter have made me realise that I’m lucky to have such a great group of mates.

That's all folks............ 

 To be continued………………………

#shouldertoshoulder

Brief Weekend Update – 21.2.16

“If Carlsberg did Weekends…………..”

Saturday mornings are usually shopping day in the Clark household. Carol runs Max down to his job at Explore Learning & then does the weekly food shop. Whilst she was making the list last night it got me thinking as to how people on a limited budget manage to cope with the extra costs of trying to maintain a high quality diet, & to sound like a total snob, are some folk able to cook properly a balanced diet without reverting to tins & packets which are full of the crap they should be avoiding whilst under treatment? As an aside, we haven’t used packet or tinned sauces now for pushing two years due to health reasons in the family. Whilst it may take a bit longer when cooking, the results are worth it. I know exactly what goes into what I cook, so if it’s bad for us I can only blame myself. It also isn't always more costly to cook from scratch, just needs a bit of planning. I’m lucky, I’m still being paid by my employers, but I know a lot of folks who If they don’t work they won’t get paid. I’m now necking full fat milk like it’s going out of fashion, not cheap. Ditto for full fat cream which goes into most dishes. Fresh fish is probably my staple main meal now, again it isn’t cheap stuff. I guess one area we are making savings is that Carol now manages to make a bottle of red last 3 or 4 days & a white wine box in the fridge is in danger of passing it “Best By” date! I hope (& presume??) there is some help available for folk who are on restricted incomes from the Govt. or is it provided by charities such as McMillan? I know that once I’m back on my feet I intend to look at anyways I can support the RBH Cancer Unit, I’m sure everyone says that when they’re going through treatment but I will follow it through. They only need another £66k to get a forth machine, so if anyone is feeling flush…………..

A half decent nights sleep, up at 4am & then again at 7.45am, so feeling quite awake this morning. I spent half an hour or so going through all the Meds in my office ahead of the final Consultants meeting on Monday. She’ll be wanting to top me up for around a month I guess. The amount of money being spent on drugs for me at the moment is ludicrous, it was running at around £250 p/wk last I asked, probably higher now.

As I was feeling pretty chipper I decided to go to OBR to watch the Centaurs play, no photo’s as it was chucking it down, but a good game to watch with Big Pete for the usual excellent company. I was buoyed somewhat by the tweets coming out of Cornwall where Rams had a convincing BP win, no Morphine required whilst that sort of good news is flowing through the veins.

Errant son was out this evening at the latest squeezes so it was just Carol & I for dinner. Fresh pasta stuffed with mushrooms, beautiful cod loin & a lovely tomato based sauce for her, same for me sans the sauce. An evening of decent food, good company & chilling watching Argo (worth watching). It was just like a normal Saturday night, pre-cancer, apart from I’m stone cold sober. Even the cat got in on the action by finishing off my tub of custard for me, stupid animal 

 Now, anyone want to swap some Morphine for a few blue pills……………..

6am start for Sunday, not too bad as I’d a few things to do before tripping up to OBR for the Colts match against Windsor. It was good to see the lads get back to winning ways after a few defeats. 27-10 against a decent Windsor side. Max got a brace, well one was the biggest knock on I’ve seen for ages, but the ref gave it J 

Not the best photo I’ve taken, but you can’t tell me that was grounded! His other was a classic Bloomfield patented Colts “Catch & Drive”. Espley taking middle ball cleanly, rolling maul & Max at the bottom of the pile. Lots of smiling faces on & off the pitch today, thanks to Cookie for taking the pic of Max & I together. 

 As the weather was fairly decent for a Sunday I took the chance to take some shots too, they’ve here if anyone wants to view them - https://www.facebook.com/Paul-Clark-Photography-1619542031665742/

Our first Sunday roast for a while this evening, this getting back to normality lark could catch on in the next few weeks. Lazy evening watching Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid, good clean fun. 

I’ve mixed feelings about the coming week. Part of me will miss the routine of going daily to the RBH for treatment when it finishes on Friday. I will also miss the daily interaction with the staff and other patients, no longer are we just folk who happen to being treated for Cancer at the same time, we’re also friends. It helps having a structure to the day. I’ve a feeling that when the treatment is over I’m going to have to make sure I’ve got things to do & not wallow in self-pity as I’ve been accused of by someone who I thought was a friend (Water, duck, back!) I know I’ll feel really ill for the first week or so after treatment whilst my body gets used to not being injected with poison or zapped by the RT, but I really want to keep as active as I can. Stagnating into a sofa whale is not going to happen.  We’re planning on tiling the bathroom floor, so maybe that would be a good project to undertake. Do it slowly, at my own pace & do it properly.

The first “Dishing out Champers” tomorrow to Jo & Scary Surgeon, hopefully they’ll pose for a couple of pics for me too, if not I’ll nick them off the web!

Now to finish the week I defy you not to watch this video with a smile on your face –  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4QSYx4wVQg

Thanks for reading.

To be continued……..

#shouldertoshoulder 

Week 5 of Treatment

“The darkest hour is just before the dawn………….”

I normally publish this blog without adding any sort of preamble to what the days contain. This week is slightly different. As this week has progressed I’ve been feeling lower & lower, as you’ll probably notice from the beat of the daily posts. I’m having to take more Meds on a daily basis, my mood swings are shoite, There are not as many “Ups” as in previous weeks. 5 more days of treatment will see an end to the first phase of recovery. I will get through those 5 days with a good kicking from Carol, Anna, Max, Scary Surgeon, CNS Jo, SN Frances, Head of RT Kate & hopefully Breakfast Club Tony. Anyone else who fancies giving me a kick past the first lap marker then feel free to step in (a cuddle, smile, hug & shoulder would also be appreciated). The same goes for Carol, Anna & Max, but if you see them, give them a hug not a kick!

Having read through the below before hitting “Publish” I realise it’s becoming a bit repetitive, but that’s the way life is for me at the moment. RBH, Treatment, Home, TV, Food, Sleep & repeat………………… At some point way down the line I’m going to try & convert this into some sort of Self Published book, along with “Diary of a Rugby Dad” if I ever get that finished. This one will need a lot of work, so it’s as well I’m keeping side notes alongside the blog to pad it out a bit.

But here’s the picture of the lovely Alison giving me my Chemo bag, so life isn’t all crap! 

Monday 15^th February 2016 – All Quiet on the Western Front

A pretty run of the mill day to start the penultimate week of my scheduled treatment. I’d had a poor night again on Sunday having to get up at midnight & again at 2am, so was glad to lie in bed until 9.30am today to recover at bit. Reading yesterday’s postings I realise I’d overdone things at the weekend, & perhaps my vitriol at Henley RFC was a bit OTT. Rugby clubs each have their own identity & their own ethos. Guess the Rams family ethos fits in better with me. I’m lucky today in that I’ve been able to call on the experience of folk from Rams to provide some advice. Firstly, I managed to scratch the side of my car last week whilst OD’d on morphine. A guy I’ve known for a number of years & in a different life now brings his son to OBR, & he was able to recommend someone who could probably repair the scratch without costing an arm & a leg. Secondly we need to replace the sink in the en-suite as I stupidly poured boiling water into it a few months back & cracked it. So on the phone to the son of the club El Presidento who’s happy to replace for us, again at a decent price. I swear if I needed a Heart Transplant there is probably someone at the club who’d know someone who could help! I only hope I’m folk’s lists if I’m able to help them with anything at any time.

RT went well today, other than being subjected to Simply Red, or as I know them “Amply Fed”, & then Chris De Burgh (forgot my CD again!). Scary Consultant was away today so Carol & I met with her Senior Registrar & Jo the CNS Nurse. A much more positive meeting than last week, I’ve maintained weight nicely & other than a few visual effects of the Chemo they appear happy with my progress. Weight is apparently key to aiding long term recovery. It’s a case of eat away even if you don’t feel hungry. I am trying & I think I may have overcome the “Can’t taste, can’t be bothered” syndrome. Scrambled eggs with mushrooms for breakfast were bland & tasteless, but full of the stuff I need. I can’t remember the last piece of red meat I ate, or other than chicken soup, white meat either. Maybe fish & veg is the way forward? Or will Carol’s evil twin convert me to a full blown veggie 

(Evil twin is actually quite lovely, other than she’s a veggie). Lunch of a protein shake & then afternoon snack of mushroom soup when I got home. She’s happy that I’m still able to get some sort of food down as well as the protein drinks, & wants me to promise I’ll drink more milk than water. It helped having Carol there with me, whilst she’s an eminently qualified nurse in her area, but it’s useful for her to know how the cancer experts are going about my treatment. Another new bunch of Meds prescribed today, including a couple of magic tricks to hopefully cure the constipation puzzle. Luckily I’ve a nurse at home with rubber gloves J Finally the Registrar reiterated again that I’ve got to remain positive, the treatment I’m being given is pretty heavy duty stuff, hence being seen twice a week by the Heads of Dept.

Over the last few weeks I’ve become more & more aware of people I know who have been through, or are still going through the pain of cancer. A fair few are having it much tougher than I am. Each of us are trying to cope in the best manner we can. Me? I rely on my family & my friends (near & far), if I’m becoming a morose bastard then they’ll tell me. If I can sit down with someone & share my experiences I’ll do it, so long as someone wants to listen. A problem shared…………..

It was a pretty quiet evening, Thai Salmon with Noodles for the family. Plain trout with spinach & mushrooms for me. L Another early night ahead of Chemo tomorrow. Looking at my Kindle I need to download a few new books to keep myself going through to the end of the treatment. Averaging just over two books a week at the moment. I’d forgotten how enjoyable it is to just get yourself lost in the plot of a decent book, even if I’ve read it dozens of time before. 

This is the first Neville Shute book I read when I was about 12 I think. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve reread it, one of those books that you can pick up time & time again. 

Tuesday 16^th – “Have we taken our dentures out?”

A flat sort of Tuesday today compared to others over the treatment period. I was extremely tired this morning after having some “Movement” in the night ;) I struggled to concentrate on reading so settled down with the iPod. Fleetwood Mac, Supertramp & Eagles seemed to fit my melancholy mood quite well, so they were stuck on shuffle. I don’t often listen to Supertramp these days, but Crime of the Century is a really cracking album if you’re in the mood for it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fyt_oEtxUJk  

There were quite a few new inmates in today, all looked pretty apprehensive as to what lay ahead, as was I of course 5 weeks ago. The lady with 3 visitors around her chair all bloody day became a bit annoying, every time I needed to go to the loo they failed to realise that I needed to take my drip line with me & just continued to gossip away with each other. I think they eventually got the picture. I also just want to relax & not get involved in their conversations regarding things which have no interest to me, I think they thought I was rude when I just kept sticking the ear phones in again. I seemed to be in quite a lot of pain today, so took the Meds on a regular basis, it feels quite liberating to whip out a bottle of Morphine, stick the syringe in & draw out 5ml of pure heaven. I wonder if I could get away with doing that in Costa? Maybe a challenge for tomorrow. There’s a lovely orderly on the ward called Sue who comes round every hour or so offering tea & coffee. She never writes down the orders, but always seems to get it right. She must have spent a good 20 minutes today just sitting next to an old boy who was on his first session, just having a chat with him & making him feel at home. You can’t put a price on that sort of care. Carol had driven me in this morning as I’m finding driving after Chemo a tad stressful, so she did a full day at work, whilst providing me with mushroom soup for lunch. Carol mentioned when she came in for lunch that Max had suffered a bout of D&V at home and was worried about passing on any infection to me. We had a long chat with Frances who looks after me at Chemo & decided the best course of action would be for Max to live in the shed for the next week or so. We’ll chuck meat bones at him every couple of days, so he should be ok.

A timely finish to Chemo led to a wait of over an hour again for RT. At least they advised me they were running late. At this point Julia (Sports Direct Mum) walked in, she hadn’t been to Chemo today & I was a bit concerned as she’s on exactly the same treatment as me. The poor girl is really struggling to eat & has lost too much weight for Chemo to be an option for her at the moment. I felt really sorry for her & when she went down for treatment I had a long chat with her daughter who is really worried. Long & short is she will make her mum eat, whether she wants to or not! It’s the only solution.

A bit of advice that I’ll give to the new RT guys who saw me this afternoon. If a patient has been on Chemo for 8 hours & then you’re running over an hour late for the appointed RT treatment saying things like “Have we taken our dentures out yet” is likely receive an acerbic response of “I really don’t give a toss if you’ve taken yours out, I didn’t put mine in today!”

It turns out that a friend of mine from the old days at Security Pacific & more lately from Abbey RFC is also in RBH at the moment, having broken her ankle whilst skiing I believe. I was going to visit her, but she quite rightly pointed out that going onto a hospital ward whilst I’m undergoing treatment probably wouldn’t be a good idea, so I’ll wait until I’ve finished in 10 days or so. She has won the prize for the most impressive broken foot photo I’ve ever seen!! Black, blue & all colours in between.

UPDATE – Breakfast Club Tony has had a cold, so his treatment was suspended for a couple of days. He should be back later this week if all goes well J

Wednesday 17^th – An apple a day does not a genius make!

A 5am wake up today, not great. If 5am beckons me it could at least have the grace to wear some make up & put on a decent outfit. An early 8.15 appointment, following a quick coffee with Breakfast Club Tony, I probably won’t see much more of him as his treatment schedule is changing as of tomorrow. Shame, as I’ve enjoyed his company & he’s got some fantastic stories to tell of his days as a Recording Engineer for some of the biggest rock bands in the 60’s & 70’s. I get the feeling that one of the reasons Tony always seems so cheerful, despite what he’s facing, is that he knows he’s had a pretty darn good time so far. I love the way his wife smiles upwardly with her eyes when he starts one of his stories. She’ll have heard it 1,000’s of times, but to me its pure gold.

I had an appointment with the “Genius” bar in the Apple store to try & sort out the issue with my iPod not being recognised by iTunes. Despite making an online appointment they were running 20 minutes late due to “Half Term” surely they knew that when I booked the appointment? The Genius with the nose piercing didn’t seem that clever to me. He asked the same questions over again & then decided that as I don’t use a Mac there was little he could do to help me? Not great service really. I can’t remember the advertising for iPod’s but I’m pretty sure it didn’t say if you buy a PC / Desktop or non Apple product we’ll just get a spotty teenager to sneer at you if you have a problem. The back up to these sort of problems is usually a “Help” request on Facebook & as per usual a suspect came up with the correct solution, big thanks to Andy Oram for pointing me in the right direction, a beer next time we meet.

My first decent NetFlix film watched this afternoon, The Wolf of Wall St, thoroughly enjoyed it. Am also about half way through The Man in The High Castle, happy to say it’s far better than the book which was unfinishable. No training for Max this evening, weather put paid to it again, however as he still wasn’t feeling 100% after a night in the shed, it was quite chilly overnight, so he probably wouldn’t have gone anyway. We’ll chuck a chicken carcass out to him tonight for dinner, see if he can beat the cat to it.

One new side effect I’ve noticed over the last few days is skin irritation, not just around my neck where the treatment is aimed, but also on my hands, chest & back. Hope Kate (RT Boss) will be able to throw some light on that one at our meeting tomorrow morning. I’ve a feeling that the next couple of weeks are going to be a case of “hunkering down” & trying to get through to the end of the treatment without doing anything stupid or deteriorating any further than the current low. I’m constantly dozing off to sleep & feeling quite stressed out by even the most mundane of tasks. I’m finding this all a bit tough now if I’m honest with myself. The problem is I’m not able to support those nearest to me & I feel like a total bastard who’s just looking after No. 1. This isn’t how I want things to be.

Thursday 18^th – The Weighty issues of the day………..

A good morning at RT in some respect, my appointment was scheduled at 9.20am but as I was early as per usual they took me in and zapped me at 8.50. Kate then did her weekly update with me. The bad news is that I’ve lost more weight this week, despite eating probably more than I have done for the last few weeks. My average food intake this week has been good. Along with my Meds diary I’m also maintaining a food diary.  Breakfast of scrambled eggs & mushrooms, mid-morning protein shake. Chicken or mushroom soup for lunch. Afternoon protein shake. Dinner of fish, veg & mushrooms. Custard with extra cream for pudding. A final protein shake before bed. I can’t believe I’m losing weight! Especially as the Registrar advised that weight is key to recovery. Kate explained that the combined effect of the Chemo & RT are now having a major impact on how my body is able to react. As there is only another week to go they will continue with the final courses of treatment, but I’ve got to be careful & make sure I look after myself. This may mean confining myself to home, not sure yet as I already feel a bit stir crazy just travelling to the RBH & back daily. Getting out & seeing friends is surely a good thing to do? She’ll get more bloods done for me tomorrow as I’m bleeding quite heavily even from the slightest little cut or nick, again possibly due to the intensive treatment. The cuts take ages to heal and are becoming pretty sore in places. I won’t see Kate again after next week’s review meeting. She’s confirmed that the first scan I’ll get following treatment will be after 3 months, this will allow the scaring to heal as much as possible & will hopefully show that the cancer has buggered off elsewhere! So, by the end of May we should know one way or another.

Earlier this week I was debating whether to jump on the fun bus down to Launceston to watch Rams take on Cornish All Blacks on Saturday, but I think it would have probably been a stupid idea & knackered me for the week. I’m also not sure Carol would have fallen for the “I’m just popping down to the shops love” line when it took me 10 hours to buy a pint of milk. Mind you, that does remind me of August Bank Holiday 1980. I was 18, had both legs in full plaster having had a slight argument with a transit van whilst riding a motorbike. I still lived at home with my parents in Woodley. Around lunchtime a mate call John Carter picked me up for a “Quick Pint” – I got home on Monday after spending a wonderful weekend at Reading Festival. I think my mum started talking to me again sometime in October. 

I’ve just spent the most satisfying £150 of my life on Champagne & thank you cards, for the nurses etc to be dished out next week. Along with the biggest chocolate tray cake thingy I’ve ever seen for the RT “Fat Friday” routine tomorrow. I know I moan about the RT guys sometimes, but that’s usually on a Tuesday when I feel perhaps I’m entitled to be a bit spiky. 

Without the guys who’ve looked after, cajoled & kicked me for the last few weeks I think I’d be in a far darker place. A bottle of Moet & a slice of chocolate is the least I can offer back to them. The young chap who served me at Sainsbury’s asked if the champers was for a special occasion, he was however superb about a quietly blubbing 50 year old slowing his till down whilst I explained why I was buying it all. He wished me best of luck for the results & even gave me a free carrier bag for the cake, top bloke.

As a special treat Max was allowed back into the house today, but then as a punishment Carol took him to Swindon Outlet Centre, I can honestly think of nothing worse to do, so I spent the afternoon lying on the sofa half watching the Hurt Locker, great film, but probably not the right genre for my mood today. Maybe I’ll go for Mama Mia or some other escapist rubbish tomorrow. Stuffed mushroom pasta with sea bass for me tonight, no seasoning at all, so hopefully no pain but plenty of gain!

C’mon, it’s ages since I posted a food pic!

Friday 19^th - & thus begins the web…….. J

Another appointment brought forward from 9.20am to 8.40am & seen at 8.20am, suits me much better as I’m home again by 10am, dozing by 10.20am & fast asleep by 11am. I bumped into Julia (Sports Direct Mum) as I was leaving RBH today, she was more positive than on Tuesday. She’s started using a Nebuliser which is helping & she’s eating more too. We’ve made a date for a coffee next Friday when we both finish our final RT sessions. The RT team seemed to appreciate the cakes, well they were digging into them when I left before 9am, so I guess they appreciated them, or of course they could also be living in sheds & feeding off scraps.  

I had a few bit & bobs to do for the new Rams website today, but nothing too onerous, hopefully we’ll be up & live in the next couple of weeks. It’s taken an awful lot longer than envisaged, however as its all being done by volunteers in our spare time it’s hardly surprising. The results will be worth it, far better than Pitchero. As it’s the last day of Half Term we relented & allowed Max to sleep in the house last night. To be honest, the scratching at the cat flap to get in was keeping us awake. He was up early for a driving lesson, anyone on the roads around Purley this morning at 8am, sorry for the delays. Carol’s taking him to Bletchley Park today to have a look around the old code breaking set up. Her late Aunty Joyce worked there during the war, but rarely spoke about it from what I can gather. Should be an interesting day for them, wish I could have gone too as I find that “Spook” stuff fascinating.

There’s not too much to write about today really. It is very much a case of just getting on with things & waiting for the next stage to begin. I think that next week will be quite emotional for me. The end of the beginning, or something like that. Three months waiting for the results will be tough, but the early indications are apparently positive. I’m going to try & get photo’s of the main characters in this blog for next week. Scary Surgeon, Jo, Frances, the RT Team, not sure if they’ll agree or not, or whether they’ll think I’m some sort of creepy pervert…………. I should have snapped Breakfast Club Tony earlier in the week whilst I had the chance. Whether I continue to write whilst I’m waiting for the results is open to debate. I’ll see how I feel & if there is actually anything interesting to write about.

There are no real plans for the weekend, we’ll play it by ear depending on a few different factors. The forecast isn’t great. Centaurs are playing at home tomorrow & I’d quite like to get up & take some action shots of them, but I’ll have to see how I feel first. If it’s chucking it down sideways then I’ll not risk it. It may also be a challenge to find out how Rams are getting on tomorrow as none of our usual Twitter folk are able to travel down, Cornish All Blacks don’t seem to live tweet scores either. Alan, the Best Coach Driver in Berkshire, has said he’ll send score updates to me when he can, so fingers crossed for them to come through & the fun bus to return to Berkshire carrying 5 points with it. Max is playing against Windsor RFC at home on Sunday, so I’ll try and get up to watch that one if I’m up to it. I’d quite like an up to date shot of him & I together after the match, haven’t done one for a while.

Now, as its  35 years ago today since Bon Scott died……………….. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q-IRUIWLYc

Thanks for continuing to read & for the messages of support, they really do mean a lot us.

To be continued……………….

#shouldertoshoulder

Weekend Update – 14.2.16  - Love, kindness, 4 points & a moan

Saturday started cold, wet & miserable. That horrible “Mizzle” like rain that soaks you to the skin so quickly. A simple and quick decision was taken not to take the camera up to OBR & just watch the match as a spectator for a change. & what a cracking match it turned out to be. Rams coming out 23-13 winners & importantly that’s the third victory on the bounce. Anyone who reads the notes from Gary Reynolds is the programs will know his passion for local lads to be playing for their local clubs. Well Rams have that in spades at the moment, & along with youth on their sides they seem to be finding their feet at this high level. 

Yet another act of kindness knocked me for six whilst I was at OBR. Alison, who is probably one of the kindest people you’ll ever have the honour of meeting gave me a “Goody Bag” that her daughter had made up for me from a friend who runs something called ChemoGiftBags (I think). It’s a bag containing bits & pieces that someone undergoing treatment will probably find useful. Books, puzzle books, blanket, compression socks, mild tea, mild coffee etc, etc…… then I picked out the pieces that meant they know exactly what we’re going through. Mild & Gentle shampoo & conditioner!! Plus childs tooth paste & tooth brush as folk going through treatment tend to get sore gums, I know I have. Perfect, just perfect! I was truly touched by this kind thought, luckily the second half kicked off so I could rush downstairs for the match  & Alison wouldn’t see quite how touched. That’s the last home game at OBR for 4 weeks. In some ways I’m quite glad as I was very tired by the time I got home.

I was home in time to watch the Wales v Scotland match, I thought probably the most entertaining game to date in the competition. A little bit too much aimless kicking for my liking, but good for the neutral spectators. Not sure Cookie would have enjoyed being the filling between an Owen & Neil sandwich, but suspect they had a good weekend in Cardiff. 

One advantage, and there aren’t many, of having a 17 year old son in the house is that it took him about 5 minutes to set up the new TV, whilst it would have taken me at least an hour, 4 bouts of swearing & a couple of kicks at the cat. It’s a bloody impressive looking bit of kit & whilst the old TV was good in it’s day you don’t realise the progression made in picture quality. NetFLix & Amazon have now been set up on a free 1 month trial. One piece of new Tech works, one piece of older Tech has decided to go on strike. My iPod Nano 6G is now not recognised by my iTunes, been through all the usual Q&A’s & it looks like a trip the Genius Bar on Wednesday. Deep joy, a spotty 16 year old geek talking a foreign language to me J

A final positive for the day, I managed to eat a salmon fillet cooked plainly with Pak Choi, couldn’t taste it obviously, but it went down without any pain.

Not a great night on Saturday, I was up at 1.30am & again at 5am (when I started writing this). A few  problems stomach wise are keeping me from sleeping, hopefully easily shifted / moved / dumped away ………………. You get the picture J

A Valentines breakfast in bed on Sunday for Carol of salmon, scrambled eggs on a bagel, I just went for the plain scrambled egg. We both must be getting on a bit, as we’ve left the prices on each others cards, she spent 0.79p more than I did (You can take the Yorkshireman out of Yorkshire…………)

Now for a weekly RANT the following is entirely my own views & is not representative of anyone else who has connections with Rams Colts. I took Max over to play at Henley today, now for some reason or another I’ve never felt overly welcome at Henley RFC, perhaps it relates to when at U7s I was reffing a tag match and got called an “Effing” Cheat……. I’ve a long memory. It was good to meet up with Giles, Stella & Steve, all ex Rams parents, but that was about as good as it got. There’s no doubt that they are a good club, Nat1 for the mens & the ladies flying high too. However I always get the feeling that the club is on it’s uppers a bit. The changing rooms are awful, club house isn’t looked after. Little choice of food available after matches for spectators. My main bug bear though is in relation to the way one specific coach of theirs behaves, he was a twat at U7s & hasn’t really improved since. Today he acted as Touch Judge (Not Assistant Referee). Now I’ve done that job at Nat3 level, you are required to mark out 5’s, 10’s & indicate when the ball has gone into touch & who’s ball it will be. You are not allowed to flag to the ref any infringements you may see, you are totally passive. This muppet took it into his own hands on at least two occasions to try & influence the Ref, once trying to get a Rams players unjustly carded. Fair play to the Henley Head Coach who told him he couldn’t interfere, but DipBrian took no notice whatsoever & in my mind he can be held heavily responsible when the game threatened to kick off. Obviously he kept his flag down when Henley infringed. Back at the club house after the game not one Henley player had showered, they came into the club, got their food & sat down to eat. If that had been at OBR they wouldn’t have been served. Yu can expect perhaps U13s to not shower, but Colts?? Come on, have some respect for your club & your surroundings. I know Henley are looking to raise funds for new facilities, I really hope they get them as they are desperately needed. At least I won’t have to go back to that place again until Max is in the Seniors. Sorry if this sounds like sour grapes, but the day was spoilt somewhat by the experience at the club. Perhaps I shouldn’t have gone, I’d had little sleep last night & may have overdone things a bit over the weekend.

Anyway, a lovely looking dinner for Max, Bella & Carol, I resisted the chance to serve in my apron & just a smile. Chicken soup for me & an early night. I'll save watching the Italy v England match until later in the week I think. 

Week 5 begins bright & early, I hope Breakfast Club Tony is around tomorrow.

#shouldertoshoulder

Week 4 of Treatment

“……. but even Jesters cry”

Monday 8^th – Keeping Up Appearances

Monday morning arrives with a howling gale & the rain coming down sideways. I woke at 5.30am after having an undisturbed night. Morphine really does the job when it comes to knocking you out. This morning I had a trip to KwikFit to get four new tyres fitted to Octi. Not too bad, 30k on the original set. Coffee in Costa, Caversham whilst the tyres were being done. It’s a great place to people watch (Yummy Mummy central). RT was scheduled for 1pm today, but they were running 90 minutes late L However one of the Radiographers came out & let everyone know what was going on, did they read my feedback form from last week? The upside of the delay is that I earwigged two ladies of an elderly disposition who were from “Well to do” backgrounds, or at least that’s what Mr Judgemental thought. They were talking about where they lived. One was from Mortimer, the other said, & I kid you not “I currently live in Woodley, but we spend as much time as we can in Sonning or Henley” – I nearly wet myself with laughter as when my parents moved to Woodley from Yorkshire some 45 years ago my Yorkshire (& posh) Nan told her neighbours that we’d moved to Sonning J It was like watching an episode of that much loved Sitcom “Keeping Up Appearances” a case of I’ll see your Sonning & raise you a Wargrave.

Luckily Breakfast Club Tony arrived before I totally lost it. We spent the delay in treatment by having a good chat. Turns out he sold his 650cc motorbike last year as his wife thought it was time he grew up – he’s 83 next birthday. 

The weekly session with Ms Jean Brodie (Scary Surgeon) was a bit raw today. I’ve lost weight since Thursday & she could tell from the minute I walked through her door that I wasn’t in a great place. My attempt at Keeping Up Appearances failed dismally. Box of tissues to hand she explained in no uncertain terms that I’ve got to stop being a twat & take the morphine if I’m in pain & that I won’t get addicted to it. It’s almost as if she’d read last week’s blog. 30 minutes later she let me out with only 500 lines to write “I promise to take morphine if my throat hurts!”  & a shed load on new drugs to try out. She thought about using the cane but suspected I may enjoy that.  I know I take the mickey out of her on here but that's only because I entirely respect her knowledge & skills. She listened to me today when I needed someone to listen. She was good enough to explain that recovery is going to take a lot longer than I’d envisaged, up to 12 months to feel 100% again. The darkest hour will be the week after the treatment is finished. So I suggest I may be best avoided w/c 29^th February, you’ve been warned J I mentioned that Carol & I are hoping to get away for a sunshine break to our friends in Corfu as soon as I feel fit enough & were looking at May or June. She positively encouraged that idea so long as I don’t expect to be able to taste very well, don’t drink (too much) & promise to wear a big hat! I get a feeling I’ll be buying Scary Bird a large bottle of champagne when she’s finished with me. I may even send her a copy of this blog if I’m feeling brave enough.

Max has finally owned up that he’s got a NetFlix account courtesy of Bella’s family, so the xBox has been installed downstairs as my entertainment of choice (Getting a bit bored of Jezzar Kyle). Carol is now off work to look after me (All together now, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) so we can snuggle up on the sofa with popcorn whilst poor old Max is at school.

Tuesday Chemo tomorrow – Tuesdays are crap!! Therefore if it’s not too crap I’ll be on a winner. I remember after my first session of Chemo I commented to someone I know that I didn’t feel or look as ill as the other folk who were having the treatment. He replied sagely, give it time. I now know what he meant. Looking in the mirror today I can see my eyes are becoming a bit shrunken & my skin a little bit grey. It’s a good job I’ve never really given a shit as to how I look. 

Tuesday 9^th – Cheese, pickle & coleslaw

Regular readers of this blog will know that Tuesdays for me have been a bit pants of late. Chemo followed by delayed RT have left me in a pretty poor mood by the time I eventually stoat home. Another reoccurring theme is food, so I thought I’d sum up todays feelings by combining the two. If a bad day is a Peanut butter sandwich served on stale bread & an excellent day a fillet steak served with rocket & parmesan slivers on a warm ciabatta, then today has been a cheese, pickle & coleslaw bloomer. Tasty, satisfying but not over the top! I arrived as per usual about an hour before the session was due to start, this means I can get a parking space with no difficulties & indulge in a large cappuccino whilst getting myself ready. I tend to walk around the grounds of the hospital for 20 minutes or so to get some exercise & fresh air prior to being stuck on St Edwards ward for 8 hours. Today I was exiting the main building on Craven Road when two blokes were standing right outside of the door, vaguely blocking the exit & next to the bloody great big sign saying “No Smoking”, both puffing away. I ended up walking through their smoke which I didn’t really appreciate & there is a perfectly good shelter not 10 yards away that they could have been using. I pointed this out to them & got a mouthful of abuse back. I’d love to say it’s the “Youth of Today”, but these guys were in their 60s!

Anyway, enough waffling……… Chemo started on time, the poor old nurses were rushed off their feet as they were short staffed, but they still manage to convey a calmness & cheerfulness that can’t be easy when they’re feeling the pressure. One patient reacted badly to their treatment meaning the crash trolley was deployed, again no panic, just efficient & calm reaction. Crisis averted. My CNS Nurse, Jo, popped up to see me today. She was concerned that I was quite upset during the meeting with Princess Ann yesterday. She was good enough to spend 30 minutes or so just chatting though what we’d discussed yesterday & coming up with some great ideas to get us through the next few weeks as comfortably as possible. She’s reiterated that morphine is a help, not a hindrance, it wouldn’t have been prescribed if it wasn’t needed. There’s no point in sitting there suffering when a quick swig of the bottle will kill the pain. Apparently I’ll know if I’ve taken too much of the stuff, presumably I’ll be seeing flying fairies or something.  

(There are days when you realise keeping that photo of a flying Eek would actually come in handy) She’s also ordered me a Nebulizer to wear over my face which should hopefully help to produce saliva a bit more productively than at present. Jo’s name will be added to the growing list of folk who’ll be receiving a Champagne bottle from me in a couple of weeks when the treatment is over. As will Frances, the nurse who’s looking after me on Chemo. Whilst she was dismantling the drips & cannula today I mentioned that it had been a busy one for them. She looked knackered & confessed she’d had no break from when she came on duty at 8am, it was now 4pm. Chemo finished on time & for once RT wasn’t delayed!!! So I was home with my feet up by 5pm. I’d imagine the Nurses on St Edwards were still on the ward gone 6pm.

Overall not a bad day, due to cooking a late dinner we’ll have pancakes tomorrow. Fully loaded with banana, cream, brown sugar! I tried my first Ensure Plus drink this evening. They supposedly contain all the proteins, vitamins & goodness you need to take in. It tasted of nothing at all, but 6 of those a day & I’d be sorted. Suspect I’ll continue to try & eat some real food.  A friend on Facebook tagged me to post 1 Nature photo per day, for 7 days, so I’ll be trawling through the folders to find something decent. That’ll make a change from my usual shots of muddy rugby players.

Wednesday 10^th – Ham Salad in a roll (For starters)

Not quite as good as cheese & pickle, but not bad. The now usual 5.30am rise ‘n shine, but as I’m getting around 6 hours sleep straight now I’m not too concerned. I quite like the 90 minutes or so before I get ready to go to the hospital. A large coffee with two of the Breakfast Club & before you know it the time had come to slip on the mask. I asked one of the RT nurses if they had names for the 3 machines they use & surprisingly enough they don’t. I suggested calling LA5, the machine that zaps me, Lettuce as I find the process quite soporific. She looked at me like I’d got two heads. Obviously not a Peter Rabbit fan!

I thought it about time I discovered what this NetFlix stuff was all about when I got home. It looks pretty impressive with the number of films & shows available. Today I watched Zoolander (pile of pants) & Happy Gilmore (Slightly better, but not brilliant). Any suggestions for films you must see before you die would be received with thanks! Pancakes stuffed with fruit for an early tea before we headed off to OBR as a family.

I’d been looking forward to Wednesday evening. We met up with a friend from Brixham RFC. He’s working in the area & came over to OBR for a couple of pints & a guided tour of the club. There’s no escape from the long tentacles of the rugby family, you think you’ve given then the slip & the buggers find you & gave you a cuddle J It was just what the Dr. ordered too, both for me & as importantly for Carol too. A good night, in fact a fillet steak on rocket leaves with parmesan shavings served in a warm ciabatta night.  As well as the company Steve kindly gave me copies of 6 recent matches from Brixhams campaign, that’ll keep me busy for the next couple of days. I wonder if this little highlight will be included? - http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/35292422/rugby-player-dives-over-wrong-line-celebrates-and-is-pummelled-by-opposition 

Thursday 11^th

An early 8am RT appointment today followed by my weekly follow up with Kate, Head of RT – Another recipient of the “Thanks for the support” Champers in a couple of weeks, at this rate I’d better buy a case of the stuff. Good news, I’ve gained 1kg since Monday. Not sure how, I’m not that constipated at the moment J Regular followers of this blog (you poor people) will know I usually meet up with the Breakfast Club before going through for treatment. I was a bit worried today as Tony (82 y/o biker) wasn’t around. Today is the first day I’ve missed him in two weeks, I know he was due to be in for an 8.30, I hope he’s ok, he’s a top bloke who always makes me smile.

I decided to treat the current Mrs C. when I got home by taking her for a coffee at the Mad Hatters Tea Room in Tilehurst, Big Pete pointed out that we should fit in nicely at a place by that name! My plan for the rest of the day was nothing more strenuous than lying of the sofa. I’ve loaded from NetFlix Breaking Bad & watched On The Beach, a wonderful adaptation of one of my all-time favourite books by Neville Shute. Pretty dark in places, but with some great comedic moments, also pretty raunchy for a film made in the 50’s. I can highly recommend that you watch it if you get a chance, very relevant storyline, even in today’s modern world.  

A bit of a result today in that I didn’t need to take any pain relief until around 4pm, that is a VERY positive sign. The ups & downs of this treatment are massive, I’m beginning to appreciate when the ups are here, & I’m not afraid of the downs any more, well not whilst I have my mate Morphine by my side.

I think it’s possibly time to invest in either NetFlix or Amazon Prime. I’m going to be stuck at home for a while & both seem to offer a 1 months free trial. As a family we have Amazon deliveries almost of a daily basis, so that the savings may push us that way. I’ll spend a couple of days comparing. Will probably have to upgrade the TV too as I suspect Max will want his xBox back at some point. Our Sony Bravia is getting on a bit and apparently it isn’t a “Smart” TV, it looks pretty clever to me, but what do I know.

Carol is out for dinner tonight with a good friend, so it’s just Max & I in. He’s got a rather nice looking Chicken Biriani for dinner, I’m having a sodding protein shakeL My revenge will be on Sunday. Bella, Max’s girlfriend is coming round after rugby for a romantic Valentines dinner that I’ve said I’ll cook for them, little do they know that the chef has a special “Romantic” outfit to cook in – 

Friday 12^th

Well that’s Week 4 of treatment completed. 10 more sessions of RT, 2 more of Chemo & with a fair wind the bastard Cancer will have been zapped away. I asked what happened after the treatment was over. Is it a case of “So long & thanks for all the fish”? DON’T PANIC Of course it isn’t, I just love using that quote. I’ll get to see Ms Jean Brodie once a month & will have a weekly call with Jo the CNS Nurse to make sure everything is going ok. But this is getting a bit ahead of myself. 14 more days on the Fun Bus first, then we can worry about what happens next.

Another early RT for me today, no Breakfast Club Tony again, I’m going to have to ask about him on Monday. A dash into town for my annual eye check up, last weeks was just for my contacts. The guys in Eyesite are pretty good, there’s no change in my glasses prescription other than I wold benefit from varifocals, but as I don’t use then all day every day they said not to bother, so saving £300 or thereabouts. Well, actually we’re about £150 down on the day as I’ve ordered a Samsung 40” Smart 4k TV thingy. After testing the scribes on FB last night we’re going to try a free 1 month trial of NetFlix & Amazon Prime & see which one suits us best as a family.

Eating, or the inability to eat is now my major concern going into the last couple of weeks of treatment, about the only things I’m able to get down my throat now are chicken soup, mushroom soup or the darn protein drinks. It really is a case of shovelling stuff down my with no anticipation of getting any pleasure out of the process.  I tried some of the homemade chicken soup I’d made last week, but my throat contracted so badly I couldn’t swallow at all. I then realised I’d added tomatoes into the mix prior to being unable to eat them. So it looks like it’ll be tinned soup from now on in. Max is out this evening, so Carol & I will have another Friday “Home Alone”, I’ve some sea bream defrosting & will try & get some of that down, cooked in milk with mashed potatoes, what a waste of a bloody decent fish. Could be a “NetFlix & Chill” evening, no idea what the heck that means though.

My non-alcoholic beers have gone to a good home. They were also reacting with my throat, so a mate who’s gone on the wagon for a while has taken them off my hands. They weren’t bad, but even if the taste buds return I can’t see me drinking them again. I also slipped in the undrinkable white wine, wonder if he’ll notice J

Hopefully a weekend of rugby to look forward to. Rams are taking on Barnes RFC at home tomorrow. I normally show up at about 10.30am & help out with the matchday duties, I think tomorrow I’ll probably leave it a bit later before I arrive. Not sure whether I’ll take my camera or not yet. The forecast doesn’t look great. If it’s chucking it down I’d be a bit daft to stand outside getting cold & wet, I don’t want to get this far & go down with a self-inflicted infection. Sunday will be a trip to Henley RFC with the Colts & a chance to catch up with two ex Rams who departed to Henley. Possibly a case of “I’ll see your Sonning & raise you a Henley”?

A very up & down week, but apart from the eating situation I think we’re ending on an up which is a good feeling.

Thank you for continuing to read this blog & for the continued support. We may not show it very openly, but it’s hugely appreciated.

To be continued…………..

#shouldertoshoulder