Monthly Check Up

“The Jury is Out”

Saturday was a good day. I went up to the club to meet my editor in chief and watch England totally stuff the shackle draggers!! 3-0 down in Aus is one heck of a result.

Marjie Thorne has been good enough to offer to read through the embryonic book, correct by awful grammar and give me pointers as to how it can be improved. I’m incredibly grateful for the help and encouragement she’s given me, even if it did take somewhere around 5 hours to do all the amendments. It will be worth it in the end. I’m currently up to close on 18,000 words (for comparison this blog is just shy of 50,000 words at the moment), and have just finished up until the end of March. My plan is to continue writing until the end of July and then look to publish. There isn’t really an end to the story as such, I could keep going for the next 5 years until I’m let back into the free world. I do suspect that would be an incredibly boring book though. Maybe I can work on a volume two and three. I still haven’t come up with a proper title. I’m calling it #shouldtoshoulder at the moment, but I’m not convinced that will work. Initially I was going to publish it as a free book on Amazon, but I’m now thinking of charging a couple of quid for it and sending all profits to MacMillan Cancer Support. On the basis that I guess the only people who’ll buy it are probably friends, acquaintances or perhaps hanger on’ers J then they won’t object to a small donation.

It’s been a strange week. Back to work with not too much to look forward to, that is until I decided that we need another holiday, so hopefully we’ll be jetting of somewhere hot at the beginning of September. We’re looking at options at the moment, but the Canary Islands are looking favourites at the moment. Any recommendations would be gratefully received. It was pretty tough getting back into work mode, I’m also still very tired each afternoon. I’ve no idea when I’m going to be back to the full time hours I should be working. 

I’m not a massive football fan, but if there’s a big game on I’ll watch it. Good god, what’s happened on Monday evening? A plucky, but isolated North Atlantic minnow got stuffed by the powerhouse of world football, Iceland! On Wednesday I had my first trip up to London since before I was diagnosed. It was time for my half year appraisal, which considering I’ve been off for a large part of that half year was perhaps a waste of time. However boxes needed to be ticked. My boss usually asks me for my highlight of the year to date, I’d planned my reply, “I’m still alive”, but for once he didn’t ask the question.

On Thursday I had my monthly check up with the ENT Clinic. I think Scary has given me up as a lost cause as again I saw a doctor who’s name still escapes me. I bumped into Jo before going in and expressed my concerns that my voice is barely more than a weak whisper at the moment. She did mention that this sort of thing can happen, especially after having RT and chemo, but that the doctor would have a good poke around with his camera. I was a tad annoyed as having a camera stuck up your nose isn’t overly pleasant once in a day, but to have to have it repeated because he forgot to take a photo wasn’t really what I wanted. Eventually he got the shots he required. The results weren’t great. There’s no sign of the tumour returning which of course is wonderful, but he was surprised by the amount of swelling that was still on my vocal chords. This is probably causing the voice problems as well as the discomfort I’ve been feeling of late. The doctor seemed slightly baffled as what to do next, so he disappeared to consult with someone else. Now I really wish they wouldn’t do that. It left Carol and me, and a poor nurse alone in the consulting room trying to make small talk. The long and short is that he’s going to get a P.E.T and C.T Scan to try to ascertain what’s going on. I presume this will happen before my next appointment at the end of July. Depending on the results it may well be that the book needs to be extended into the later part of the year. I hope not.

We left the appointment feeling a little “Flat” for want of a better word. To me it felt like I was being pushed through a sausage machine. In eight months time I’ll come out the other end nicely wrapped up and ready for the next stage of the five year pathway.

The mood was lifted a bit when I got home. Jo called to say she’d be leaving a prescription for steroids with the hospital pharmacy that Carol can pick up tomorrow. They should hopefully help with the swelling. She told me to be patient, recovery isn’t an overnight sensation.

That’s it for now folks. I’ll probably update again once I’ve had my scan.

Thanks for reading.

To be continued……………

#shouldertoshoulder

“Cheeeeeps, Swingers, Heartbreak Hill & Coming of Age”

June Update

I’m writing this on the evening of 21^st June. Carol & I got back from 11 days on Corfu about 5 hours ago, the washing machine has been working away in the background ever since. It was a good holiday, not a great one though. With hindsight we possibly travelled 8 weeks too early in my recovery. However Carol needed the break after all she’d been through since Christmas & I needed a change of scenery. I found it quite tiring being away & certainly needed the afternoon sleeps each day. I also managed to get through the best part of a bottle of liquid Ibroufen, not quite every 4 hours, but not far off it. I’m not sure if it was the heat that affected me, but my throat was awfully sore at times & most mornings my neck was very swollen. One day the side of my neck blew up so that I looked like the Elephant Man. I mailed the CNS Ladies & to their eternal credit they came back to me the same day suggesting I try using citrus fruits to reduce the swelling, it seemed to work quite well. Finally on the subject of “Oi I am ill you know!” I’ve also as near as dammit lost my voice. It’s hardly even a croak now, more of a whisper, again it may have been the heat. Returning to an autumnal England may solve the problem. Don’t get me wrong, we enjoyed ourselves but it wasn’t the “Full on Holiday” we were used to.

Corfu in June is a different beast to July & August. We had one of the most spectacular storms I’ve ever seen - https://www.facebook.com/groups/145814900152/ there were also a few other overcast & coolish days. Instead of spending every day on the beach in the love shack we had to find other ways of entertaining ourselves. 

One way of keeping ourselves entertained was to sit by the pool & try & guess the stories of the other guests. Well we already knew that two set of guests had severe timekeeping problems. One family thought their flight out to Corfu was 6pm in the evening when it was in fact 6am - £300 for new flights & one less day of your holiday! Another family said their goodbyes to those around the pool on Thursday evening to fly back home. It was a surprise to see them the next day, until they admitted that they’d got their day of departure wrong by 24 hours to go home. Now I may be slightly anal when it comes to checking my holiday details, but at least it means I know the difference between AM & PM, Thursday & Friday! Then we had the oldest swingers in town. A lovely couple who went to the North end of the beach early every morning to get their all over tans. No idea why this makes them swingers, but it was Carols comment initially. Finally we had ex Porn Star & her Director. A lady of a certain age who’s rather large breast seemed to still defy gravity & her older, creepier & controlling partner. You could almost hear the clapper board going down each night J Now I realise this makes the pair of us sound like a real pair of snobs, but I promise that’s not the case. It’s just a bit of fun & we made some good friends whilst we were away.

As I’d mentioned previously in this blog, our experience of food in Corfu in the past has been mixed. I’ve found it fairly bland after two weeks, with little use of spices. The seafood is generally great, as is lamb, but I keep away from steaks as they tend to be pretty ropey I’ve found. There are probably a dozen tavernas in Arillas, we tended to use four. Horizon, expensive but quality. Brouklis, probably the most authentic of the tavernas. Decent spit roasted lamb, & a host who’s wit is as dry as his red wine. Graziella was the main place we ate in the evenings. It’s family run & specialises in sea food. I also ate the juiciest lamb chops there. Each time we ate there I cracked up when Thomas, one of the brothers who own the place took orders. His patter was always the same…… “Cheeeeps, roast potatoes, boiled potatoes, rice, Greek salad pleeeeeze” All said in the very best Harry Enfield “Stavros” Greek accent. The final place we used was Ammos Beach Bar. A bit expensive but oh was it worth it. The two waitresses got to know us after a couple of visits. It was a case of stopping in on the way back from the beach at lunchtime for a Corfu Brewery beer & more than likely staying for lunch. Having a coffee after dinner in the evening, before facing “Heartbreak Hill”, or on a couple of occasions, having dinner & a rather nice bottle of red whilst listening to live Jazz, a very laid back vibe to the place. The sheer amount of food we were served at most of the tavernas caused a problem for me. I’m still struggling to eat massive amounts & night after night I felt guilty about leaving at times a third of my dinner uneaten. Thomas at Graziella eventually asked if everything was ok. I was quite touched by his concern that evening & beyond when I explained why I was struggling to eat or talk properly.

Anna’s Apartments are generally wonderful. There is only one problem, & that’s “Heartbreak Hill”. They’re situated above the village and away from the main hustle & bustle which is ideal. However the last 150 metres is up & around a steep hairpin bend which really tests the calf muscles, especially after a decent meal, bottle of wine & large Metaxa. We were pretty lucky in that Anna’s family also run the local Car Hire company & on a number of occasions either Tasos or Theo were driving up the hill & stopped to give us a lift, life savers the pair of them. 

Coming home was a bit of a shock, whilst it hadn’t been roasting in Corfu at least it was pretty warm. Landing at Gatwick wearing shorts & a t-shirt probably wasn’t the brightest idea of my life. The new passport with “Recognition” technology got their first work out, after queuing for about 40 minutes!!! I was under the impression this was supposed to make things quicker……………

Thursday 23^rd was of course a momentous day, not only were we being asked to vote to stay or leave the EU, it was also Max’s 18^th – As is traditional for birthdays in the Clark household it was off to Nino’s for a spot of dinner to celebrate. It wasn’t a late night as I was feeling fairly rough. I’ve not slept well for a couple of weeks now & the fatigue is beginning to catch up on me. As usual the service at Nino’s was wonderful, as was the food. Max was given a birthday card & a massive chocolate cake at the end of the evening. I think we’ve spent at least 10 of his 18 birthdays in Nino’s, a few more to come I suspect.

I’ve been contacted twice now by the cancer charity McMillan. I commented on their site following the “The Big C & Me” program on BBC before we went away. They’ve since read my blog & have asked if I would share my story on their website, of course I’d be delighted if anything that I’ve written can help anyone who’s going through a similar process. They’ve also asked if I’ll write the “Tip of the Week” article for their site in the next couple of weeks. The subject will possibly be about the therapeutic power of writing about your experiences. I’m pretty sure I mentioned a long way back in this blog that I’m not great at talking openly about my feelings, but sitting down at my computer & banging away for an hour or so can help to release any built up tensions.

Waking up early on Friday morning to the news that the UK had voted to leave the EU was a bit of a shock to be honest. This isn’t the forum to debate the rights & wrongs of the vote, all I can hope for is that stability for the future of our kids is somehow maintained. Made a note in my diary on the way here. Simply says: "Bugger".

I’ll be having my monthly check up next Thursday, I’m going to request to see either of the CNS Nurses as I’m concerned that my voice is so bad at the moment. Unless it improves dramatically over the weekend I’ll struggle to talk to anyone on the phone at work next week.

As always, thanks for reading.

To be continued…………….

#shouldertoshoulder

My family & Other Animals

6 months ago when I was originally going through the diagnoses period I had no real idea where I’d be come the summer of 2016. I certainly didn’t think I’d be packing my bags & looking forward to 12 nights in a quiet resort in the North East of Corfu. We first stayed with the Krasaki family 10 years ago. This will be our forth visit, the family Anna, Kostas, Theo & Tasos are now friends rather than just people we book a holiday with. There were some pretty dark times around the middle of February when I wasn’t even sure I’d still be on this mortal coil come June. To be renewing my passport for another 10 years was one heck of an upside.

The past couple of weeks since my last update have been a real challenge. I’m afraid I’ve had to resort to Morphine on a number of evenings as my throat is becoming increasingly sore & painful. This isn’t where I envisaged being in my recovery. I’d been getting so much better, not needing any pain relief. I’m now having to sleep each afternoon, otherwise I’m totally shagged out. I’m having to be quite careful with what I eat so I don’t irritate the throat. At least with going to Greece I know the food will be fairly bland J I can’t take my supply of Morphine on holiday I’m afraid. It’s a controlled drug & I need a letter from either Scary or my GP advising why it’s been prescribed & what dosage I’m likely to take. I didn’t even think about this until Tuesday & have left it too late to get the letters done. I’ll be taking a dirty great big bottle of Ibroufen instead in my suitcase, if that doesn’t work I’ll go to plan B) Greek Brandy!! Kills 99% of all known germs.

I’d really hoped that by this point in recovery I’d be a lot closer to 100% than I am. I reckon I’m somewhere around 65% tops. Carol & I will have a great break. Sun, sea, sand & sleep. & when we’re back it’ll be just in time to celebrate Max reaching 18, so long as he does nothing stupid whilst we’re away that is. 

I’ll also need to evaluate where I am as far as work goes when I get back. I get the feeling that they’d like me to be back full time from July, at the moment I’m not sure I’m able to do that, but we shall see.

I’ve managed to complete 14,000 words of the book of this blog. That’s taken me to the end of February 2016 & equate to about 90 pages. My plan is to finish the script at the end of July & hopefully have the book ready for publication by the beginning of September. I’m indebted to a good friend who’s agreed to edit it for me & give me “Warts ‘n all” feedback on the first 14,000 words, so by the time I get back from Corfu it could be edited down to 7,000 words.

Now those of you who know me well would remember that the pre-cancer Paul Clark was a bit of a judgemental so ‘n so. It was a case of “Gay until proven straight!” Last night I watched “The Big C & me” on BBC. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to really watch this program or not, but I’m so glad I did. It focused on 3 people who’d been diagnosed with cancer. One young lad who was one of 8 children. An elderly lady in her 80’s who was trying to decide if she should have treatment, & a young teenage girl who was facing the prospect of experimental treatment in the USA. I won’t spoil it for anyone who wants to watch on iPlayer, but what I will say is don’t judge a book by it’s cover. It took me back to my first days of meeting “Sports Direct Mum”, it made me cry.

Carol & I are off to Gatwick at silly o’clock tomorrow morning, flying out at 5.55am with SleazyJet. I’ve resigned myself to the knowledge that we’ll be treated like shoite from the minute we check in until the minute we pick up our baggage (hopefully) at Corfu airport, anything else is a Brucie Bonus!

My next appointment with Scary is scheduled for 30^th June, so until then, Yamas & tackle out!

Thanks for reading as always.

To be continued……………………

#shouldertoshoulder