So Long, and thanks for all the fish…..

Saturday 16^th June

Last night the errant son played his first 15 a side adult match. He was in the Wooden Spoon charity team who played against a Abbey RFC Select XV ahead of the weekends Fat Blokes 7s. We were both pretty nervous when we turned up at Ice Station Abbey, he was the youngest player by at 3 years, and Abbey fielded a pretty strong side. I shouldn’t really have worried, he played back row for the whole of the second half and didn’t look out of place at all. One piece of muppetry which if it had come off would have been the move of the night! 

The next day we trooped off back up to Ice Station Abbey for the annual Fat Blokes 7s at some ungodly hour. Max was playing for the social Honey Badgers team this week. I’ve been going to FB7s for 10 years now. The first time was pretty damn emotional as it followed a trip over to the Isle of Wight to play in a festival at Vectis when we met Wee Jack Wakefield. I’m not going to go into that story here, but it will be in the book, so watch this space. 

The Badgers fielded two side, one defending their title in the Elite competition, the other entered in the Open Social. The Open side was a mixture of youth and experience, in some cases years and years of experience…….. I’ve always enjoyed watching 7s, especially at the FB7s when it’s not uncommon to see 35 man mauls, or a pair of step ladders brought onto the pitch to help with line outs. The young lads who helped out the older lads were superb. Charlie, Alex and Max provided much needed energy, whilst the other players provided the guile and experience. To cut a long day short both the social & elite sides won their competitions. I believe the saying is #THB4L (The Honey Badgers for life!).

A pretty darn perfect day ended up at our friends “The Cooks” over in Wargrave. A lovely BBQ, plenty of wine, great company……………… but by 11pm Max and I were hanging. A long day in the sun was taking its toll, so we made our excuses and wound our way back home. When I later found out that a rather decent brandy was produced and the other guests left at 2.30am…………….. well, part of me was jealous, the other part was thankful that for once I’d shown restraint.

Anna is now off on her version of InterRailing for the best part of a month with a friend she’s known since she was about 12 or 13 I think. Instead of slumming it in hostels it would appear they’re staying in decent hotels everynight. I’m also not sure that Geneva, Zurich, Saltzburg and Venice are on the usual schedule for most impoverished backpackers. She’s sends a text every couple of days and seems to be having a great time. Whilst you can’t help worrying about what is going on in Europe at the moment you’ve got to trust your kids to be sensible.

Thursday 28^th July, 4.30am…………

Up at an ungodly hour to write the final portion of this blog. Sleep was a real challenge last night for a number of reasons, so rather than lying their tossing ‘n turning and disturbing Carol I thought I’d get up, have a cup of tea and bang away at the keyboard whilst the juices were flowing in my mind.

On Wednesday I rocked back up to RBH for the follow up biopsy, hopefully the final check in the box to ensure everything is ok. I was slightly nervous following my previous experience of a biopsy but there wasn’t much I could really do. Last time I was the final person on the list for the day, today I was second, behind a bloke who just moaned and grumbled his way through his stay in the ward, I felt pretty sorry for the poor student nurse who had to placate his increasingly stupid demands and questions. A quick chat with the anaesthetist confirmed that he was indeed aware of my previous problem with the GA and that they would try not to knock me off this time, oh how I laughed! Cool Dude also came up to explain the procedure he’d be undertaking. If that man was any more laid back he’d have jumped into the bed and had a nap himself! I walked down to the theatre around 1.30pm in my OddBall flip flops, which looked rather fetching next to my compression socks. After a bit of a wait and a bit of confusion as there were two Mr Clark’s in the waiting room, (I still wonder what the other one was having done!) I was eventually led into the pre-op room. The Senior Anaesthetist seemed to recognise me from last time. He went on to explain that the problems last time could have been caused by many different things and not just the GA administered. By this time I was past the point of caring as the cannula had been fitted and I was being gently pumped with a rather pleasant pre-med drug. One, two, three, four……………….. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The next thing I know I’m waking up in the Recovery Suite and being asked how I feel? “Like crap” is probably an answer they get given at least twice a day. My throat felt like I’d been gargling with blunt razor blades, my voice was barely a whisper and very hoarse, but at least there wasn’t a Consultant looking at me with a concerned face this time. It was about 90 minutes before I could have anything to drink, so I did was any self respecting  middle aged man would do in the mid afternoon, I went back to sleep. Cool Dude came back up to the ward a bit later, and now for the good news……………………… 

He could see no further signs of cancer, he’s taken a small biopsy but believes it’ll show up to be totally clear. He actually did a lot more poking around than he'd originally planned, and my throat certainly felt pretty darn painful.  Yes, my throat is extremely swollen still and possibly in a few months time he may operate again to cut out some of the swelling. Yet again it was explained to me that the treatment I’d undertaken earlier this year had knocked the stuffing out of me, both physically and mentally. The upward spike in my health and fitness, followed by the fall off the cliff a couple of months ago was to be entirely expected. I need to be patient. Things will improve eventually. Resting, moderate exercise, a healthy and balanced diet, moderate intake of alcohol, taking care in the sun and sleep will all help in the recovery process. I was discharged around 7pm with a shed load of leaflets to read. One of the leaflets concerned getting over the effects of a GA. It advises rest for 48 hours following the treatment, no driving, working or operating complicated machinery (I think a PC is probably ok). It also said that I would need to be looked after by a responsible adult in the first 48 hours…………….. now Carol’s at work, Anna is somewhere in Europe, that leaves Max, oh dear god……………. 

I know I’ve said this before, but now really is the time to put this blog to bed. Other than monthly check ups with the hospital, there won’t be much action on the health front. A slow and steady improvement isn’t going to make for great reading.

I will post up when the book is ready for publishing, I’m still aiming for some time in September. At the moment I’m writing in “Real Time” with a few back stories being embellished. The aim was always to finish the timeline at the end of July. As previously mentioned it won’t be a “Free” book on Kindle, I want to put all proceeds to MacMillan Cancer Support, so it’ll cost you around £3.00 to read it. Rest assured, it isn’t a word for word copy of this blog. There are revelations that even those who’ve known me for many years will be surprised about. It's got to be worth £3.00 of your earth pounds to read all about it. I'm currently researching how to upload it to Amazon Kindle and trying to finalise a design for the front cover. It will be titled #ShouldertoShoulder.

The last 7 months or so have taught me a lot about myself, my family and my friends. I’ve taken huge encouragement from every comment on the blog, every message on Facebook or Twitter, and every expression of goodwill when I’ve been out and about. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my various ramblings, especially going back to the 8 weeks or so of the end of January through to March when things were really at their darkest. There were a few days when I wasn't sure if I'd get this far. I doubt very much if any of the folk from RBH have been reading this, but if they have well thank you all for the support and kindness I’ve been shown. I’m sure that at times folk were going beyond the call of duty to help Carol and I. So Cool Dude, Frances, Kate, and especially Jo and Scary, cheers guys.

There have been times when I’ve felt extremely emotional whilst writing, I’m sure that has helped me to cope and to not bottle things up as much as I used to do. If in anyway at all my musings have helped anyone else who’s being through a similar treatment, or how is the carer of someone, well then it’s all been worthwhile. Without my family I wouldn't have got through this. I've been a bear with a sore head, I've had very short tempers.

A few “Stats” to finish up on –

This blog has just under 51,500 words. It’s been viewed over 6,800 times in more than 20 different countries around the world. 36% of people who’ve viewed the blog have done so via Chrome, only 5% via Internet Explorer! 30% used Windows, 12% an iPad and 7% on a Mac. The vast majority of traffic, was directed via Facebook. The cost of my treatment to date to the NHS is somewhere around £20,000 and counting. When I can come up with a decent idea I intend to do something to raise funds to pay that sum back. 

14,000 people die each month in the UK from cancer related illness.....  

Again, many thanks folks.

#shouldertoshoulder

A quick update  - MacMillan Cancer Research

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I’d been contacted by McMillan to write something for their “Tip of the Week”, well it was published today and here’s the link. - 

MacMillan Tip of the Week

if you read it, it would be great if you could share the link on social media platforms to help get the word out about the great work that MacMillan do for cancer sufferers, be it the patients, family or anyone else effected.

#shouldertoshoulder

Not quite the end of the road…… but not too much further to go (I hope)

I’ve written and deleted this update twice so far. The first two versions were really depressing and that’s not the feeling I want to get across. I’m very close to the end of this blog, probably one more update at the end of this month and then it’ll be time to get the book ready for publishing in September, time to get on with the rest of my life, and time to move on.

The month started off poorly. The steroids I was prescribed reacted badly with me. They gave horrendous mood swings. One minute euphoric, the next suicidal. I was also getting strange tingling feelings in my lower legs and arms. After discussing with the hospital we decided that as my voice was showing no signs of improving after five days that I may as well pack in taking the tablets. My temper, whilst never on exactly a long fuse was now close to blowing with no warning, again an after effect of the drugs. I was very close to getting out of my car in the week to confront an idiot on a bike who was riding on the wrong side of the road, whilst also on his phone. He was in the wrong, but I know that if I had stopped it would have ended up in violence, I had little control over myself.

There was some good news earlier in the week. I’ve been nominated for an award at the National Rugby Awards. I’m incredibly honoured, and whilst I haven’t seen the actual nomination, knowing the person who made it, I suspect it’s a cracker. I’ve made the short list so Carol and I will be off to Twickenham on 1^st September to see who’s won. Rams have also made the short list for the club house development, so hopefully there will be a few of us there.

Max got to make his senior rugby debut playing for the Honey Badgers 7s side down in Exeter on the second weekend of the month. I drove down to watch him play (and bring him back as he couldn’t stay overnight). It was good experience for him, playing with some pretty experienced players. His pitch time was limited, but that was to be expected. All in all a good way to start, especially as they won! 

I was totally knackered by the time we got back on Saturday night, possibly not the brightest idea I’ve ever had. However over the weekend I took the best part of 600 photo’s at the 7s and the Rams Open Day. I was fairly pleased with the results and will try to take more shots over the summer. 

I’ve been in what seems like daily contact with the CNS Nurses as we’re slightly concerned that I’m not progressing as I should be. They were good enough to push through my PET scan and follow up appointment with Scary, it’ll have been four months since I last saw her, I wonder if she’ll have grown?

The 13^th July is the anniversary of the Live Aid concert, held 31 years ago at Wembley stadium and JFK Stadium in Philadelphia, it’s also our wedding anniversary. 31 years, and who said it wouldn’t last.  I celebrated by getting up at the crack of dawn to drive over to Oxford for my PET scan. I’d been told that parking at the hospital could be horrendous, so I arrived at 7.45am for my 9.30am appointment. I’m glad I got there early as the car park was already filling up and by 9am cars were queuing for spaces. Unfortunately I was unable to have anything to eat or drink prior to the scan, other than water, so sitting in the canteen with a bottle of H2o whilst the bacon was cooking wasn’t the brightest idea I’ve ever had. The scan followed 90 minutes of sitting around whilst my body absorbed whatever sort of radioactive dye was injected into me. Lying on the scan bed and being lightly strapped in brought back memories of the radiotherapy treatment back in January, but at least this time I could move slightly and didn’t have a mask pinning my face down, and there was no Phil Collins!!! 30 minutes later I was released from the scanner, cannula removed and told I could go home. As I was leaving I was given a leaflet regarding precautions I should take as I would still be radioactive until around 3.30pm. They included not being close to pregnant women or little children and sitting down if I needed a pee, no idea why I’d need to sit down? No celebratory meal out for our anniversary, I was feeling pretty knackered. So homemade chicken pie, sweet potato mash and asparagus. I was glad I no longer had to sit down to pee if I’ve eaten asparagus! 

I had my appointment at ENT on Thursday afternoon and after waiting for over an hour I got to see my old friend Scary again. I felt much more comfortable speaking to her and Jo than I had in the last couple of meetings with doctors who I had no history with. She asked questions about how I’d been since I last saw her. She asked about my reactions to the steroids, she seemed interested, unlike a couple of the other doctors. The PET scan didn’t show up any anomalies, however it wasn’t too clear either. This is very similar as to when I had my original CT scan in December. Scary decided to have a look at my throat via the up the nose route. I’ve said before that it isn’t the most pleasant experience and unlike having needles stuck into me, it’s an experience I’m struggling to get used to. It didn’t help when Scary decided to get the senior bloke involved, he’ll now be known as “Cool Dude”, who I’ve not seen before. He also had a good look at my throat via the up the nose route! Between him and Scary they’ve decided to do another biopsy on me in two weeks time. This will be done as a day op under a general. Those of you with good memories may recall this passage from the blog back in December –

“The Biopsy all went a bit pear shaped as I reacted badly to the General Anaesthetic, had a cardiac arrest, “Died” for around 10 seconds apparently before CPR brought me back.”

I’m hoping that we don’t have a repeat of that episode!

I went through the Pre-Op talk with one of the ENT nurses on Thursday, so we’re all set to go. Scary and Cool Dude reiterated that this is a case of dotting i’s & crossing t’s and they don’t think there is anything to be too concerned about. Their opinion is that my throat is just taking a bit longer to heal than they expected. The photos and scans show a shed load of scaring around the area of the RT. It may well be that my voice never recovers. Whilst I would have much rather have been told that everything was ok and to stop wasting their time moaning, I’m not too worried.

The weekend will be a busy one. Errant son will be making his 15 a side debut this evening playing for a Wooden Spoon XV in a match ahead of the infamous Fat Blokes 7s on Saturday where he’s turning out for the Honey Badgers again. Its daughters last weekend at home before she disappears off to Europe for a few weeks, she’s spending four or five days at the end of her trip in Nice……………  Last but not least we’ll be over in Wargrave with some good friends to celebrate the departure to the land of the low grey cloud of a lad who I think I first met some 10 years or so ago, he’s turned into one very personable young man

So, that’s it until the end of the month once the Biopsy had been done. As always thanks for reading.

To be continued…………….

#Shouldertoshoulder