I could have been someone............
(click on the link)
Three years ago this evening,
Christmas Eve 2015. Carol and I had left the Royal Berkshire Hospital after
meeting Dr. Fairbairn (Scary) and CNS Jo for the first of many times. We’d been
given the news that we’d suspected for a week or so, I had Stage 2 Cancer of
the throat, however, to quote Dr. Fairbairn, “We think you’re worth saving”.
Going back home and sitting the kids down to break the news was one of the
hardest things I’ve ever done. “Sit down kids, we’ve something to tell you,
Dad’s got cancer, Ho, Ho, Ho”.
After the annual reading of "A Night Before Christmas" it was back to normal. And thus began the changing
of my life for ever. RT, Chemo, remission, the bastard coming back, laryngectomy, ho di hum..............
I was looking through some of
the old blog posts and picked out key words and phrases that seemed to crop up
and was originally going to base this post around those phrases, but after
writing a thousand or so words it was the most boring update of all the ones
I’ve done, and there have been some insomnia busting blogs over the last three
years.
Instead I thought I’d just
remind myself how lucky I am to still be around and annoying anyone who reads
this! The NHS never once gave up on me. The treatment I’ve received since I
underwent the Laryngectomy has been brilliant, especially from an extremely
stretched Speech and Language Team. One day we’ll find the valve that lasts
longer than 12 weeks J .
I was chatting to one of the Physio’s at Rams last
week and she asked about the problems I’m having with leaking valves and the
fact they need to be replaced so often. I explained that one of the problems is
that there are only about 7,500 “Larys” in the UK, so it makes new investment
in Research and Development very
expensive. Head and Neck Cancer isn’t sexy
and that is not to deride any of the more common cancers that get massive
funding. Of course something like breast cancer should get better funding than
head and neck, there are far, far, far more patients who’ll benefit from the R
and D and will ultimately survive. I know in the USA there’s been experiments
with transplanting voice boxes, to prevent the need for a Lary, but from what I’ve
read we’re a fair few years away from that process being a realistic option.
I’m now on quarterly reviews from the Consultants,
they’re more than happy with the way I’m progressing. I’m not, but that’s just
me being picky I think. The original suppliers of all my “Lary” kit,
Countrywide Supplies, let themselves down with appalling customer service in
October of this year, they then compounded their errors, making me think that
they were trying to wind me up. I actually got quite upset with the way I’d
been treated, but a change of supplier seems to have solved the problem. I mentioned
the problems I was having with Countrywide to the other member of the “Lary
Club” and was surprised to be slapped down somewhat by a senior member about
the way I’d emailed Countrywide. I decided at that point that there’s little
point in me attending anymore meetings with the group. They mean well, but
sitting around a table once a month and just chatting is maybe ok if you’re
retired, but I still work. I know I can email a couple of the members if I’ve
any real concerns. I am worried about the impact of the dog’s dinner known as
Brexit as my supplier is an EU based company. I’ve been slightly over ordering
for a couple of months now so that I’ve got a back stop of supplies should the
worst happen.
Slowly I’m coming to terms
with being a “Lary”. Cold weather and rain make it difficult for me to function
properly. Warm weather is good, so long as I don’t get sand in my hole (Oh er
missus!). This is my second winter as a Lary and I recall Mister Rourke, one of
my Consultants, telling me last year that it takes a number of years to really
come to terms with the change in my body. Social events are tough these days.
With no real volume control I find it difficult to communicate if there’s a lot
of background noise. I’m dipping out of invites at the moment if I think it’s
likely to be noisy. I’m tending to leave Old Bath Road as soon as the matches
finish this year, rather than going up to the bar afterwards for the post-match
celebrations. I’m learning that I can take just as much, if not more pleasure,
by taking some photos at a match, chatting to people on the side lines and then
going home to spend a couple of hours editing the shots. I don’t need to be the
life and arsehole of the party anymore.
On the subject of rugby Rams
are currently 11 points clear at the top of the league and playing some of the
best rugby I’ve ever seen at the ground in the 14 or so seasons I’ve been following
the 1st XV. We’re now a very professional outfit both on and off the
pitch. The 18 players wouldn’t be able to perform without the hard work, week
in, week out, of the backroom staff. Anyone who’s read any of my blogs over the
last three years will know how much Rams means to all of the Clark family. It
really is a #Ramily.
Tonight is Christmas Eve,
three years on. The tasty and simple lasagne has been made. The Beef Wellington
is prepared and ready for the oven tomorrow. There’s five of us at home again
this year for dinner. Carol, Anna, Max, Tom and I, plus of course Neville and
Penny who no doubt will be looking to hoover up any scraps.
I’m getting there, I’m still
alive.
Merry Christmas and a Happy
New Year to one and all. Especially those people I know who are still going
through the horrible cancer wringer at this time. May 2019 bring loads of happy
times, and walks on the beach with sand in your toes.
As always, thanks for
reading.
To be continued……………
#Shoulder2Shoulder
