The Hunger Games

Brief Update – 

The NHS comes in for an awful lot of stick it would seem. However I’ve either been incredibly lucky to date, or we really do have a Health Service that is the envy of the world. When I saw Scary last week she said she didn’t think that I’d get seen for the forthcoming little Op. prior to Carol and I disappearing off on holiday again. Well, on Tuesday morning the phone rang at home and it was a rather friendly person from the Endoscopy Dept. at RBH asking me if I could come in for the Op. the following Tuesday. Now that’s what I call service, in fact they could have done the procedure earlier, but for various reasons I couldn’t. Carol picked up the “Magic Potions” that I’ll need to take on Monday prior to my visit. Helpfully, the instruction packet for the laxatives advise being close to a toilet when you take them! Who’d have guessed? I’m also not allowed to eat anything from 2pm on Monday through to when I have the operation, I’m only allowed clear liquids, not sure if that includes whisky or not, but certainly bins scrumpy I guess. I get the feeling that Bank Holiday Monday in the Clark household is going to be a barrel of laughs.

Thursday was Carol’s birthday. I made the schoolboy error of forgetting to phone Nino’s for a booking until Wednesday, by which time he was full. So off we trooped into Reading to join the great unwashed, luckily they weren’t all trying to eat out at the same restaurants as us! London Street Brassarie managed to fit the five of us without too much drama. Decent food, but let down a bit by slow service. We haven’t seen much of Errant Son this weekend as he’s been off to “Fest” with his latest squeeze, even though it’s probably only about two miles away as the crow flies they’ve been coming back each night to a decent bed and a warm shower.

On Saturday I managed to get to my first away match with Rams since last December. They played their final preseason friendly against Luctonians RFC from Leominster. My parents used to live about five miles from Leominster, but I’d forgotten how far away it was, spending over five hours in the car probably wasn’t the brightest idea I’ve had. The match was a typical disjointed preseason affair. I’d think that Rams were probably missing 10 players at least from the team that will start the league campaign next weekend at home to Taunton. There was a pleasant surprise at the end of the game as I went to confirm the scores with the ref. One of the assistant refs came up and said “Hello Paul, how are you?” Now I’m sure I’m not the only one who gets confused when they see people out of context to the normal circumstances you would meet them in. The AR was a chap I’d done a lot of business with in the past in my job, I hadn’t seen him for perhaps three years and I’m pretty sure I’ve only ever met him whilst he was wearing business attire. I knew Peter ref’d at a decent level, but I didn’t realise he’d been promoted up to Level 4 Rugby, so there’s a good chance he’ll be at one of the Rams games, either home or away this coming season. The photos from the game weren’t the best I’ve ever taken, but I’ll use the excuse that the light was all over the place in the first half, and in the second it started raining so the gear was shoved away for the day.

Next weekend is the opening proper of the season, Rams entertain Taunton at OBR and on Sunday the Mini’s and Junior’s get their seasons underway. This will be the first time for 12 seasons that I’ve missed the first weekend. Part of me is a bit pissed off, but a far bigger part is thinking of 30 degrees heat in the Canaries! I’ll also miss Max making his senior debut for the 3s away to Shire Hall, but there will be plenty of other chances. I believe he’s going to the Badger Bash after the match, so probably just as well we’re away as it’ll give him a week to a) Sober up and b) Redecorate if necessary.

Sunday was a day of getting things sorted for the holiday next weekend. As I’ll likely be out of action for much of Monday and Tuesday, possibly Wednesday too, I had to get into town early to sort out our Euro’s, a rate of Euro 1.15 at John Lewis was as good as it got, still bloody “Ouchy” compared to this time last year when I got close to Euro 1.45! It was vaguely amusing to see the “Great Unwashed” being washed as it was chucking it down sideways, and as always it seems I bumped into a regular at Artigiano’s!

I realise I haven’t posted a recipe for a while, and as I won’t be able to eat anything exciting on Monday it would seem like a good chance.

Thai Green Curry :

Prep Time : 15 minutes, depending on traffic.

Cooking time : 20 minutes.

This is a simple but tasty dish. Jump into your car, drive to Waitrose, avoid “The Great Unwashed” & Yummy Mummies, buy the prepared Waitrose Thai Green Curry. Pay, jump back in car, drive home. Heat oven to “Hot”, follow pack instructions, dish up, eat. An almost fool proof recipe. Enjoy, have this one on me! 

The time saved in buying a take-away meant I had enough spare time to build a play list ahead of the Colonoscopy on Tuesday, apologies for the toilet humour!

• ·         Open up and say “Ahhhh” – Poison
• ·         Shake a leg – AC/DC
• ·         Movin’ Out – Aerosmith
• ·         Dirty Back Road – B52s
• ·         Burnin’ for you – Blue Oyster Cult
• ·         Against the wind – Bob Seger
• ·         Born to Run – Bruce Springsteen
• ·         Under Pressure – David Bowie & Queen
• ·         Tunnel of Love – Dire Straits
• ·         If Dirt were Dollars – Don Henley
• ·         Digging Deep – Fish
• ·         Don’t Stop – Fleetwood Mac
• ·         Loss of Control – Green Day
• ·         Mr Brownstone – Guns ‘n Roses
• ·         That Smell – Lynyrd Skynyrd
• ·         Warm Wet Circles – Marillion
• ·         For Crying out loud – Meatloaf
• ·         Even Flow – Pearl Jam
• ·         Stir it up – Tesla
• ·         Let it roll – UFO

Monday was a fairly quiet Bank Holiday to begin with. I made up the magic movement potion, stuck it in the fridge and waited for the 6pm witching hour for the effect to take place. The stuff tasted god awful, but the first litre was drunk and it was then a case of waiting to see what happened………………. And whilst waiting I was kept amused by my Facebook friends ideas of humour.

Tuesday dawned, for me, at around 4am with my stomach advising me it was probably a good idea to get up and remove the Andrex from the fridge. I won’t go into details, but I wish I’d been given this potion when I was suffering so badly from constipation whilst I was going through Chemo and RT.

Arriving at the hospital I was incredibly nervous, not helped I guess by the fact that I hadn’t eaten since midday on Monday, not drank since 10am that morning and was generally feeling god awful. A 20 minute run through with a nurse eased my concerns to a degree, the procedure should be no more than uncomfortable and would be managed by pain relief. 30 minutes later, for a variety of reasons, not least being the extreme pain I was in the procedure was stopped roughly ½ way through. This means I’ll have to go through all the build up again when we get back from holiday and I’ll be seen by a Senior Consultant rather than a Junior Registrar. So it was home for a much needed dinner and early night. I started the day feeling nervous, I ended the day feeling frustrated. I’d really hoped that today would be the last time I’d have to undergo any procedures at the hospital for a while. To realise I’ve got to go through it all again is a bit crushing.

Wednesday was my last working day until 13^th September, there’s something quite satisfying about setting the Out of Office and turning off your work phone. When I’m back it’ll be a real case of back to the coal face, working full time for the first time since December of last year, missing out on afternoon naps (Although I may sneak in the odd 40 winks), being full on back on the treadmill. You may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned the fact that I may need more treatment for the stomach lump and that is because I’ve decided I won’t need treatment, it’ll be a false alarm and nothing to worry about.

Thursday was the day of the National Rugby Awards up at Twickenham. Carol and I travelled up by train and checked into the Twickenham Travelodge (ever the romantic), it was a long day and I was a bit concerned about being totally cream crackered when it finished and having to drive back home again. The afternoon VIP Reception was fun, albeit a bit drawn out. I got to meet the other nominees in the Volunteer category, truthfully any one of us would have been worthy winners of the award. The others all came from what I’d class as Junior clubs, all level 7 and below, or didn’t have Senior sections. The tour of Twickenham stadium was interesting, the home changing rooms are out of this world and need to be seen to be believed. It was then on to the pitch side drinks reception before heading into the function room to meet the other Rams and settle down for dinner and the awards. 

Rams were also up for an award for the Facility Development of the Year, but missed out to Whitley Bay Rockliff RFC, again a much smaller club than ours. By the time it got to the Volunteer award I’ll admit I was pretty nervous. I wasn’t aware that the winners were going to be interviewed on the stage by some bloke from Sky Sports. My voice was pretty shot at this point, down mainly to having been in air conditioned rooms for most of the day. I needn’t have worried, as the winner was Simon Ursell from Tetbury RFC. I’d chatted to Simon quite a lot in the afternoon, he was a genuine chap who really deserved the award. His club have one Senior Men’s team, some Juniors and a full section of Mini’s. They also survive despite having only one pitch to play on. A true grass roots club by the sound of things. It’s easy to say with hindsight that it’s an honour just to have been nominated, but truly that is the case. There are something like 100,000 club volunteers around the country, to be on a shortlist of 6 is a pretty good result. I’d love to see what the nomination actually said…………… As you would imagine, with 750 people at the dinner, all of them associated in one form or another with rugby the evening started to get a bit lively. So Carol and I took our leave and walked slowly back to our hotel having enjoyed the day immensely. (Carol even got to sit in the Presidents seat in the Royal Box, the first female president of the RFU perhaps?)

I was hoping that I’d have the book #shouldertoshoulder ready for publishing by now, but it looks like it’s going to be delayed now until probably the end of September. Good things are worth waiting for, and so are mediocre ramblings I’m led to believe.

That is for now folks, we’re off to sunny Fuerteventura tomorrow for a week of tan topping, wine guzzling, meat eating, relaxation! And we won't be worrying about the appointment on 19th September, anyway the doctors will probably be on strike! 

As always, thanks for reading.

To be continued (for a little while longer)……………….

#shouldertoshoulder

Here’s Johnny………… I’m back.

There’s good news and there’s some not quite so good news. The good news is that you can get to read my inane ramblings again for a little while longer. The not so good news? Hmmmmm…………… read on.

After the fun and games of having my Biopsy I went to the RBH to meet the Head Honcho a couple of weeks ago to discuss the results. He made Scary look like Mother Theresa in his blunt and direct approach. The biopsy was clear, there was no sign of cancer. However he was concerned that my throat was still pretty swollen and suggested that unless the swelling reduced there was a fair to even chance that cancer might make a guest appearance again. With that he took a phone call, and said they’d see me in three months at the end of October. So we left feeling pretty upbeat to have been changed from monthly check-ups’ to quarterly, happy days.

In the middle weekend of August, Carol, Max and I travelled down to Porthcothan Bay in Cornwall for a long weekend of camping. I’ve been going to Carnevas Camping site for somewhere in the region of 45 years, indeed Carol and I had our honeymoon there (we were broke!). We had a cracking four days, it only rained for about 3 hours on Saturday morning, the rest of the time was glorious sunshine. When the sun shines in Cornwall you’re hard pressed to find a better place to be.

We left around lunch time on Monday, after visiting Boscastle for breakfast and a wander up the cliffs. The fun and games started about 20 miles from Exeter on the A30. Reports came through that the road ahead was closed and we started queuing about 12 miles from the M5, so I shot off at the nearest exit and wound our way through various narrow B roads to Exeter City itself. By the time we’d made our way through the city we were at least an hour behind schedule. Getting onto the M5 just north of Exeter should have meant a journey home of just over two hours. Oh no, it took nearly three and a half hours. Stop start traffic all the way up to Bristol.

It was just after we’d driven past Taunton that the phone rang, answered hands free of course! At this point in the journey home I was feeling pretty pissed off, so the answer to the ringing was a rather curt “Yes?” rather than my usual cheery greeting.

“Hi Paul, it’s Jo from the Royal Berks here, how are you?” Hmmm……  I thought, pretty sure this isn’t a social call…..

Jo went on to ask if I could recall what Mr More Scary than Scary had said about my PET Scan. From memory it wasn’t discussed, we only talked about the biopsy which was clear. It was at this point that my heart stopped beating. Jo asked if I was free to get into the clinic to see Scary and discuss the PET Scan on Thursday, as Scary was away for two weeks after that. Call me a cynical old Hector, but they weren’t going to be calling me in to say “Hello Paul, everything is fine, we’ll see you next year.” Sleep was a struggle for the next three nights ahead of the appointment. My mind kept going back to December of last year when we were called back in on Christmas Eve to have our first meeting with Scary and Jo. What followed was probably the most emotional 72 hours of my life. The first “FB” post telling folk my news, sitting the kids down and saying “Dads got cancer”, seeing the friends at OBR, you get the picture.

Thursday arrived, I struggled to do anything overly proactive work wise in the morning, my mind was on other things. I got to the RBH as usual an hour ahead of my appointment, walked around in the sun and drank a large cappuccino before checking into the ENT Dept. My appointment was at 4.20, and I was eventually called in at 4.50 to meet the original (& best) Scary. She explained that whilst the biopsy had proved to be clear for my throat, the PET Scan had looked at my whole body and a lump had been found in my stomach area. Bearing in mind my recent history this can’t just be ignored.

What does this news mean? Well, the 14 Day Pathway has risen its head again, however as Carol and I are off to the Canaries on 3^rd September I won’t get seen prior to that. I’ll be having an exploratory operation, hopefully pretty soon after coming back, which will dictate what further treatment, if any, is required. Scary was pretty positive in her diagnosis and I do trust her judgement. She used lots of long words and complicated phrases, the main ones I heard were “Laxatives” “Stong” and “Not overly pleasant” I think someone is going to be sticking something up my bottom again! It could well be nothing to worry about at all, and that is the way we’re going to look at it until proven otherwise. I'd also mention that if it was that urgent it would have been a case of "Do not pass Go, do not collect £200, go straight to the operating table"

Scary then really showed why she’s a “Top Bird”. Bear in mind the clinic had run late, I was her last patient for the day and I’m sure she wanted to get away. But no, she took the time to ask how I was getting on, and not just from a throat point of view. I mentioned that I’m struggling to eat any carbs at the moment which surprised her as the RT shouldn’t have had too much effect. Her advice is to try eating “Slippery” food, so I guess that’s a diet of Oysters from now on in.

So, where does this leave us? Well, Carol and I will be disappearing to the Canaries, Anna will be back off to Uni and Max will continue with his A Levels after nailing his exams at the second time of asking. Life will go on as normal. Work will be done, bills will be paid, photos will be taken, and words will be written. If, and it’s a bloody big IF, the news comes back as not great then as a family we’ll kick it back into touch, just like we did last time.

As always, thanks for reading.

To be continued………………

#shouldertoshoulder

So Long, and thanks for all the fish…..

Saturday 16^th June

Last night the errant son played his first 15 a side adult match. He was in the Wooden Spoon charity team who played against a Abbey RFC Select XV ahead of the weekends Fat Blokes 7s. We were both pretty nervous when we turned up at Ice Station Abbey, he was the youngest player by at 3 years, and Abbey fielded a pretty strong side. I shouldn’t really have worried, he played back row for the whole of the second half and didn’t look out of place at all. One piece of muppetry which if it had come off would have been the move of the night! 

The next day we trooped off back up to Ice Station Abbey for the annual Fat Blokes 7s at some ungodly hour. Max was playing for the social Honey Badgers team this week. I’ve been going to FB7s for 10 years now. The first time was pretty damn emotional as it followed a trip over to the Isle of Wight to play in a festival at Vectis when we met Wee Jack Wakefield. I’m not going to go into that story here, but it will be in the book, so watch this space. 

The Badgers fielded two side, one defending their title in the Elite competition, the other entered in the Open Social. The Open side was a mixture of youth and experience, in some cases years and years of experience…….. I’ve always enjoyed watching 7s, especially at the FB7s when it’s not uncommon to see 35 man mauls, or a pair of step ladders brought onto the pitch to help with line outs. The young lads who helped out the older lads were superb. Charlie, Alex and Max provided much needed energy, whilst the other players provided the guile and experience. To cut a long day short both the social & elite sides won their competitions. I believe the saying is #THB4L (The Honey Badgers for life!).

A pretty darn perfect day ended up at our friends “The Cooks” over in Wargrave. A lovely BBQ, plenty of wine, great company……………… but by 11pm Max and I were hanging. A long day in the sun was taking its toll, so we made our excuses and wound our way back home. When I later found out that a rather decent brandy was produced and the other guests left at 2.30am…………….. well, part of me was jealous, the other part was thankful that for once I’d shown restraint.

Anna is now off on her version of InterRailing for the best part of a month with a friend she’s known since she was about 12 or 13 I think. Instead of slumming it in hostels it would appear they’re staying in decent hotels everynight. I’m also not sure that Geneva, Zurich, Saltzburg and Venice are on the usual schedule for most impoverished backpackers. She’s sends a text every couple of days and seems to be having a great time. Whilst you can’t help worrying about what is going on in Europe at the moment you’ve got to trust your kids to be sensible.

Thursday 28^th July, 4.30am…………

Up at an ungodly hour to write the final portion of this blog. Sleep was a real challenge last night for a number of reasons, so rather than lying their tossing ‘n turning and disturbing Carol I thought I’d get up, have a cup of tea and bang away at the keyboard whilst the juices were flowing in my mind.

On Wednesday I rocked back up to RBH for the follow up biopsy, hopefully the final check in the box to ensure everything is ok. I was slightly nervous following my previous experience of a biopsy but there wasn’t much I could really do. Last time I was the final person on the list for the day, today I was second, behind a bloke who just moaned and grumbled his way through his stay in the ward, I felt pretty sorry for the poor student nurse who had to placate his increasingly stupid demands and questions. A quick chat with the anaesthetist confirmed that he was indeed aware of my previous problem with the GA and that they would try not to knock me off this time, oh how I laughed! Cool Dude also came up to explain the procedure he’d be undertaking. If that man was any more laid back he’d have jumped into the bed and had a nap himself! I walked down to the theatre around 1.30pm in my OddBall flip flops, which looked rather fetching next to my compression socks. After a bit of a wait and a bit of confusion as there were two Mr Clark’s in the waiting room, (I still wonder what the other one was having done!) I was eventually led into the pre-op room. The Senior Anaesthetist seemed to recognise me from last time. He went on to explain that the problems last time could have been caused by many different things and not just the GA administered. By this time I was past the point of caring as the cannula had been fitted and I was being gently pumped with a rather pleasant pre-med drug. One, two, three, four……………….. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The next thing I know I’m waking up in the Recovery Suite and being asked how I feel? “Like crap” is probably an answer they get given at least twice a day. My throat felt like I’d been gargling with blunt razor blades, my voice was barely a whisper and very hoarse, but at least there wasn’t a Consultant looking at me with a concerned face this time. It was about 90 minutes before I could have anything to drink, so I did was any self respecting  middle aged man would do in the mid afternoon, I went back to sleep. Cool Dude came back up to the ward a bit later, and now for the good news……………………… 

He could see no further signs of cancer, he’s taken a small biopsy but believes it’ll show up to be totally clear. He actually did a lot more poking around than he'd originally planned, and my throat certainly felt pretty darn painful.  Yes, my throat is extremely swollen still and possibly in a few months time he may operate again to cut out some of the swelling. Yet again it was explained to me that the treatment I’d undertaken earlier this year had knocked the stuffing out of me, both physically and mentally. The upward spike in my health and fitness, followed by the fall off the cliff a couple of months ago was to be entirely expected. I need to be patient. Things will improve eventually. Resting, moderate exercise, a healthy and balanced diet, moderate intake of alcohol, taking care in the sun and sleep will all help in the recovery process. I was discharged around 7pm with a shed load of leaflets to read. One of the leaflets concerned getting over the effects of a GA. It advises rest for 48 hours following the treatment, no driving, working or operating complicated machinery (I think a PC is probably ok). It also said that I would need to be looked after by a responsible adult in the first 48 hours…………….. now Carol’s at work, Anna is somewhere in Europe, that leaves Max, oh dear god……………. 

I know I’ve said this before, but now really is the time to put this blog to bed. Other than monthly check ups with the hospital, there won’t be much action on the health front. A slow and steady improvement isn’t going to make for great reading.

I will post up when the book is ready for publishing, I’m still aiming for some time in September. At the moment I’m writing in “Real Time” with a few back stories being embellished. The aim was always to finish the timeline at the end of July. As previously mentioned it won’t be a “Free” book on Kindle, I want to put all proceeds to MacMillan Cancer Support, so it’ll cost you around £3.00 to read it. Rest assured, it isn’t a word for word copy of this blog. There are revelations that even those who’ve known me for many years will be surprised about. It's got to be worth £3.00 of your earth pounds to read all about it. I'm currently researching how to upload it to Amazon Kindle and trying to finalise a design for the front cover. It will be titled #ShouldertoShoulder.

The last 7 months or so have taught me a lot about myself, my family and my friends. I’ve taken huge encouragement from every comment on the blog, every message on Facebook or Twitter, and every expression of goodwill when I’ve been out and about. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my various ramblings, especially going back to the 8 weeks or so of the end of January through to March when things were really at their darkest. There were a few days when I wasn't sure if I'd get this far. I doubt very much if any of the folk from RBH have been reading this, but if they have well thank you all for the support and kindness I’ve been shown. I’m sure that at times folk were going beyond the call of duty to help Carol and I. So Cool Dude, Frances, Kate, and especially Jo and Scary, cheers guys.

There have been times when I’ve felt extremely emotional whilst writing, I’m sure that has helped me to cope and to not bottle things up as much as I used to do. If in anyway at all my musings have helped anyone else who’s being through a similar treatment, or how is the carer of someone, well then it’s all been worthwhile. Without my family I wouldn't have got through this. I've been a bear with a sore head, I've had very short tempers.

A few “Stats” to finish up on –

This blog has just under 51,500 words. It’s been viewed over 6,800 times in more than 20 different countries around the world. 36% of people who’ve viewed the blog have done so via Chrome, only 5% via Internet Explorer! 30% used Windows, 12% an iPad and 7% on a Mac. The vast majority of traffic, was directed via Facebook. The cost of my treatment to date to the NHS is somewhere around £20,000 and counting. When I can come up with a decent idea I intend to do something to raise funds to pay that sum back. 

14,000 people die each month in the UK from cancer related illness.....  

Again, many thanks folks.

#shouldertoshoulder

A quick update  - MacMillan Cancer Research

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I’d been contacted by McMillan to write something for their “Tip of the Week”, well it was published today and here’s the link. - 

MacMillan Tip of the Week

if you read it, it would be great if you could share the link on social media platforms to help get the word out about the great work that MacMillan do for cancer sufferers, be it the patients, family or anyone else effected.

#shouldertoshoulder

Not quite the end of the road…… but not too much further to go (I hope)

I’ve written and deleted this update twice so far. The first two versions were really depressing and that’s not the feeling I want to get across. I’m very close to the end of this blog, probably one more update at the end of this month and then it’ll be time to get the book ready for publishing in September, time to get on with the rest of my life, and time to move on.

The month started off poorly. The steroids I was prescribed reacted badly with me. They gave horrendous mood swings. One minute euphoric, the next suicidal. I was also getting strange tingling feelings in my lower legs and arms. After discussing with the hospital we decided that as my voice was showing no signs of improving after five days that I may as well pack in taking the tablets. My temper, whilst never on exactly a long fuse was now close to blowing with no warning, again an after effect of the drugs. I was very close to getting out of my car in the week to confront an idiot on a bike who was riding on the wrong side of the road, whilst also on his phone. He was in the wrong, but I know that if I had stopped it would have ended up in violence, I had little control over myself.

There was some good news earlier in the week. I’ve been nominated for an award at the National Rugby Awards. I’m incredibly honoured, and whilst I haven’t seen the actual nomination, knowing the person who made it, I suspect it’s a cracker. I’ve made the short list so Carol and I will be off to Twickenham on 1^st September to see who’s won. Rams have also made the short list for the club house development, so hopefully there will be a few of us there.

Max got to make his senior rugby debut playing for the Honey Badgers 7s side down in Exeter on the second weekend of the month. I drove down to watch him play (and bring him back as he couldn’t stay overnight). It was good experience for him, playing with some pretty experienced players. His pitch time was limited, but that was to be expected. All in all a good way to start, especially as they won! 

I was totally knackered by the time we got back on Saturday night, possibly not the brightest idea I’ve ever had. However over the weekend I took the best part of 600 photo’s at the 7s and the Rams Open Day. I was fairly pleased with the results and will try to take more shots over the summer. 

I’ve been in what seems like daily contact with the CNS Nurses as we’re slightly concerned that I’m not progressing as I should be. They were good enough to push through my PET scan and follow up appointment with Scary, it’ll have been four months since I last saw her, I wonder if she’ll have grown?

The 13^th July is the anniversary of the Live Aid concert, held 31 years ago at Wembley stadium and JFK Stadium in Philadelphia, it’s also our wedding anniversary. 31 years, and who said it wouldn’t last.  I celebrated by getting up at the crack of dawn to drive over to Oxford for my PET scan. I’d been told that parking at the hospital could be horrendous, so I arrived at 7.45am for my 9.30am appointment. I’m glad I got there early as the car park was already filling up and by 9am cars were queuing for spaces. Unfortunately I was unable to have anything to eat or drink prior to the scan, other than water, so sitting in the canteen with a bottle of H2o whilst the bacon was cooking wasn’t the brightest idea I’ve ever had. The scan followed 90 minutes of sitting around whilst my body absorbed whatever sort of radioactive dye was injected into me. Lying on the scan bed and being lightly strapped in brought back memories of the radiotherapy treatment back in January, but at least this time I could move slightly and didn’t have a mask pinning my face down, and there was no Phil Collins!!! 30 minutes later I was released from the scanner, cannula removed and told I could go home. As I was leaving I was given a leaflet regarding precautions I should take as I would still be radioactive until around 3.30pm. They included not being close to pregnant women or little children and sitting down if I needed a pee, no idea why I’d need to sit down? No celebratory meal out for our anniversary, I was feeling pretty knackered. So homemade chicken pie, sweet potato mash and asparagus. I was glad I no longer had to sit down to pee if I’ve eaten asparagus! 

I had my appointment at ENT on Thursday afternoon and after waiting for over an hour I got to see my old friend Scary again. I felt much more comfortable speaking to her and Jo than I had in the last couple of meetings with doctors who I had no history with. She asked questions about how I’d been since I last saw her. She asked about my reactions to the steroids, she seemed interested, unlike a couple of the other doctors. The PET scan didn’t show up any anomalies, however it wasn’t too clear either. This is very similar as to when I had my original CT scan in December. Scary decided to have a look at my throat via the up the nose route. I’ve said before that it isn’t the most pleasant experience and unlike having needles stuck into me, it’s an experience I’m struggling to get used to. It didn’t help when Scary decided to get the senior bloke involved, he’ll now be known as “Cool Dude”, who I’ve not seen before. He also had a good look at my throat via the up the nose route! Between him and Scary they’ve decided to do another biopsy on me in two weeks time. This will be done as a day op under a general. Those of you with good memories may recall this passage from the blog back in December –

“The Biopsy all went a bit pear shaped as I reacted badly to the General Anaesthetic, had a cardiac arrest, “Died” for around 10 seconds apparently before CPR brought me back.”

I’m hoping that we don’t have a repeat of that episode!

I went through the Pre-Op talk with one of the ENT nurses on Thursday, so we’re all set to go. Scary and Cool Dude reiterated that this is a case of dotting i’s & crossing t’s and they don’t think there is anything to be too concerned about. Their opinion is that my throat is just taking a bit longer to heal than they expected. The photos and scans show a shed load of scaring around the area of the RT. It may well be that my voice never recovers. Whilst I would have much rather have been told that everything was ok and to stop wasting their time moaning, I’m not too worried.

The weekend will be a busy one. Errant son will be making his 15 a side debut this evening playing for a Wooden Spoon XV in a match ahead of the infamous Fat Blokes 7s on Saturday where he’s turning out for the Honey Badgers again. Its daughters last weekend at home before she disappears off to Europe for a few weeks, she’s spending four or five days at the end of her trip in Nice……………  Last but not least we’ll be over in Wargrave with some good friends to celebrate the departure to the land of the low grey cloud of a lad who I think I first met some 10 years or so ago, he’s turned into one very personable young man

So, that’s it until the end of the month once the Biopsy had been done. As always thanks for reading.

To be continued…………….

#Shouldertoshoulder 

Monthly Check Up

“The Jury is Out”

Saturday was a good day. I went up to the club to meet my editor in chief and watch England totally stuff the shackle draggers!! 3-0 down in Aus is one heck of a result.

Marjie Thorne has been good enough to offer to read through the embryonic book, correct by awful grammar and give me pointers as to how it can be improved. I’m incredibly grateful for the help and encouragement she’s given me, even if it did take somewhere around 5 hours to do all the amendments. It will be worth it in the end. I’m currently up to close on 18,000 words (for comparison this blog is just shy of 50,000 words at the moment), and have just finished up until the end of March. My plan is to continue writing until the end of July and then look to publish. There isn’t really an end to the story as such, I could keep going for the next 5 years until I’m let back into the free world. I do suspect that would be an incredibly boring book though. Maybe I can work on a volume two and three. I still haven’t come up with a proper title. I’m calling it #shouldtoshoulder at the moment, but I’m not convinced that will work. Initially I was going to publish it as a free book on Amazon, but I’m now thinking of charging a couple of quid for it and sending all profits to MacMillan Cancer Support. On the basis that I guess the only people who’ll buy it are probably friends, acquaintances or perhaps hanger on’ers J then they won’t object to a small donation.

It’s been a strange week. Back to work with not too much to look forward to, that is until I decided that we need another holiday, so hopefully we’ll be jetting of somewhere hot at the beginning of September. We’re looking at options at the moment, but the Canary Islands are looking favourites at the moment. Any recommendations would be gratefully received. It was pretty tough getting back into work mode, I’m also still very tired each afternoon. I’ve no idea when I’m going to be back to the full time hours I should be working. 

I’m not a massive football fan, but if there’s a big game on I’ll watch it. Good god, what’s happened on Monday evening? A plucky, but isolated North Atlantic minnow got stuffed by the powerhouse of world football, Iceland! On Wednesday I had my first trip up to London since before I was diagnosed. It was time for my half year appraisal, which considering I’ve been off for a large part of that half year was perhaps a waste of time. However boxes needed to be ticked. My boss usually asks me for my highlight of the year to date, I’d planned my reply, “I’m still alive”, but for once he didn’t ask the question.

On Thursday I had my monthly check up with the ENT Clinic. I think Scary has given me up as a lost cause as again I saw a doctor who’s name still escapes me. I bumped into Jo before going in and expressed my concerns that my voice is barely more than a weak whisper at the moment. She did mention that this sort of thing can happen, especially after having RT and chemo, but that the doctor would have a good poke around with his camera. I was a tad annoyed as having a camera stuck up your nose isn’t overly pleasant once in a day, but to have to have it repeated because he forgot to take a photo wasn’t really what I wanted. Eventually he got the shots he required. The results weren’t great. There’s no sign of the tumour returning which of course is wonderful, but he was surprised by the amount of swelling that was still on my vocal chords. This is probably causing the voice problems as well as the discomfort I’ve been feeling of late. The doctor seemed slightly baffled as what to do next, so he disappeared to consult with someone else. Now I really wish they wouldn’t do that. It left Carol and me, and a poor nurse alone in the consulting room trying to make small talk. The long and short is that he’s going to get a P.E.T and C.T Scan to try to ascertain what’s going on. I presume this will happen before my next appointment at the end of July. Depending on the results it may well be that the book needs to be extended into the later part of the year. I hope not.

We left the appointment feeling a little “Flat” for want of a better word. To me it felt like I was being pushed through a sausage machine. In eight months time I’ll come out the other end nicely wrapped up and ready for the next stage of the five year pathway.

The mood was lifted a bit when I got home. Jo called to say she’d be leaving a prescription for steroids with the hospital pharmacy that Carol can pick up tomorrow. They should hopefully help with the swelling. She told me to be patient, recovery isn’t an overnight sensation.

That’s it for now folks. I’ll probably update again once I’ve had my scan.

Thanks for reading.

To be continued……………

#shouldertoshoulder

“Cheeeeeps, Swingers, Heartbreak Hill & Coming of Age”

June Update

I’m writing this on the evening of 21^st June. Carol & I got back from 11 days on Corfu about 5 hours ago, the washing machine has been working away in the background ever since. It was a good holiday, not a great one though. With hindsight we possibly travelled 8 weeks too early in my recovery. However Carol needed the break after all she’d been through since Christmas & I needed a change of scenery. I found it quite tiring being away & certainly needed the afternoon sleeps each day. I also managed to get through the best part of a bottle of liquid Ibroufen, not quite every 4 hours, but not far off it. I’m not sure if it was the heat that affected me, but my throat was awfully sore at times & most mornings my neck was very swollen. One day the side of my neck blew up so that I looked like the Elephant Man. I mailed the CNS Ladies & to their eternal credit they came back to me the same day suggesting I try using citrus fruits to reduce the swelling, it seemed to work quite well. Finally on the subject of “Oi I am ill you know!” I’ve also as near as dammit lost my voice. It’s hardly even a croak now, more of a whisper, again it may have been the heat. Returning to an autumnal England may solve the problem. Don’t get me wrong, we enjoyed ourselves but it wasn’t the “Full on Holiday” we were used to.

Corfu in June is a different beast to July & August. We had one of the most spectacular storms I’ve ever seen - https://www.facebook.com/groups/145814900152/ there were also a few other overcast & coolish days. Instead of spending every day on the beach in the love shack we had to find other ways of entertaining ourselves. 

One way of keeping ourselves entertained was to sit by the pool & try & guess the stories of the other guests. Well we already knew that two set of guests had severe timekeeping problems. One family thought their flight out to Corfu was 6pm in the evening when it was in fact 6am - £300 for new flights & one less day of your holiday! Another family said their goodbyes to those around the pool on Thursday evening to fly back home. It was a surprise to see them the next day, until they admitted that they’d got their day of departure wrong by 24 hours to go home. Now I may be slightly anal when it comes to checking my holiday details, but at least it means I know the difference between AM & PM, Thursday & Friday! Then we had the oldest swingers in town. A lovely couple who went to the North end of the beach early every morning to get their all over tans. No idea why this makes them swingers, but it was Carols comment initially. Finally we had ex Porn Star & her Director. A lady of a certain age who’s rather large breast seemed to still defy gravity & her older, creepier & controlling partner. You could almost hear the clapper board going down each night J Now I realise this makes the pair of us sound like a real pair of snobs, but I promise that’s not the case. It’s just a bit of fun & we made some good friends whilst we were away.

As I’d mentioned previously in this blog, our experience of food in Corfu in the past has been mixed. I’ve found it fairly bland after two weeks, with little use of spices. The seafood is generally great, as is lamb, but I keep away from steaks as they tend to be pretty ropey I’ve found. There are probably a dozen tavernas in Arillas, we tended to use four. Horizon, expensive but quality. Brouklis, probably the most authentic of the tavernas. Decent spit roasted lamb, & a host who’s wit is as dry as his red wine. Graziella was the main place we ate in the evenings. It’s family run & specialises in sea food. I also ate the juiciest lamb chops there. Each time we ate there I cracked up when Thomas, one of the brothers who own the place took orders. His patter was always the same…… “Cheeeeps, roast potatoes, boiled potatoes, rice, Greek salad pleeeeeze” All said in the very best Harry Enfield “Stavros” Greek accent. The final place we used was Ammos Beach Bar. A bit expensive but oh was it worth it. The two waitresses got to know us after a couple of visits. It was a case of stopping in on the way back from the beach at lunchtime for a Corfu Brewery beer & more than likely staying for lunch. Having a coffee after dinner in the evening, before facing “Heartbreak Hill”, or on a couple of occasions, having dinner & a rather nice bottle of red whilst listening to live Jazz, a very laid back vibe to the place. The sheer amount of food we were served at most of the tavernas caused a problem for me. I’m still struggling to eat massive amounts & night after night I felt guilty about leaving at times a third of my dinner uneaten. Thomas at Graziella eventually asked if everything was ok. I was quite touched by his concern that evening & beyond when I explained why I was struggling to eat or talk properly.

Anna’s Apartments are generally wonderful. There is only one problem, & that’s “Heartbreak Hill”. They’re situated above the village and away from the main hustle & bustle which is ideal. However the last 150 metres is up & around a steep hairpin bend which really tests the calf muscles, especially after a decent meal, bottle of wine & large Metaxa. We were pretty lucky in that Anna’s family also run the local Car Hire company & on a number of occasions either Tasos or Theo were driving up the hill & stopped to give us a lift, life savers the pair of them. 

Coming home was a bit of a shock, whilst it hadn’t been roasting in Corfu at least it was pretty warm. Landing at Gatwick wearing shorts & a t-shirt probably wasn’t the brightest idea of my life. The new passport with “Recognition” technology got their first work out, after queuing for about 40 minutes!!! I was under the impression this was supposed to make things quicker……………

Thursday 23^rd was of course a momentous day, not only were we being asked to vote to stay or leave the EU, it was also Max’s 18^th – As is traditional for birthdays in the Clark household it was off to Nino’s for a spot of dinner to celebrate. It wasn’t a late night as I was feeling fairly rough. I’ve not slept well for a couple of weeks now & the fatigue is beginning to catch up on me. As usual the service at Nino’s was wonderful, as was the food. Max was given a birthday card & a massive chocolate cake at the end of the evening. I think we’ve spent at least 10 of his 18 birthdays in Nino’s, a few more to come I suspect.

I’ve been contacted twice now by the cancer charity McMillan. I commented on their site following the “The Big C & Me” program on BBC before we went away. They’ve since read my blog & have asked if I would share my story on their website, of course I’d be delighted if anything that I’ve written can help anyone who’s going through a similar process. They’ve also asked if I’ll write the “Tip of the Week” article for their site in the next couple of weeks. The subject will possibly be about the therapeutic power of writing about your experiences. I’m pretty sure I mentioned a long way back in this blog that I’m not great at talking openly about my feelings, but sitting down at my computer & banging away for an hour or so can help to release any built up tensions.

Waking up early on Friday morning to the news that the UK had voted to leave the EU was a bit of a shock to be honest. This isn’t the forum to debate the rights & wrongs of the vote, all I can hope for is that stability for the future of our kids is somehow maintained. Made a note in my diary on the way here. Simply says: "Bugger".

I’ll be having my monthly check up next Thursday, I’m going to request to see either of the CNS Nurses as I’m concerned that my voice is so bad at the moment. Unless it improves dramatically over the weekend I’ll struggle to talk to anyone on the phone at work next week.

As always, thanks for reading.

To be continued…………….

#shouldertoshoulder

My family & Other Animals

6 months ago when I was originally going through the diagnoses period I had no real idea where I’d be come the summer of 2016. I certainly didn’t think I’d be packing my bags & looking forward to 12 nights in a quiet resort in the North East of Corfu. We first stayed with the Krasaki family 10 years ago. This will be our forth visit, the family Anna, Kostas, Theo & Tasos are now friends rather than just people we book a holiday with. There were some pretty dark times around the middle of February when I wasn’t even sure I’d still be on this mortal coil come June. To be renewing my passport for another 10 years was one heck of an upside.

The past couple of weeks since my last update have been a real challenge. I’m afraid I’ve had to resort to Morphine on a number of evenings as my throat is becoming increasingly sore & painful. This isn’t where I envisaged being in my recovery. I’d been getting so much better, not needing any pain relief. I’m now having to sleep each afternoon, otherwise I’m totally shagged out. I’m having to be quite careful with what I eat so I don’t irritate the throat. At least with going to Greece I know the food will be fairly bland J I can’t take my supply of Morphine on holiday I’m afraid. It’s a controlled drug & I need a letter from either Scary or my GP advising why it’s been prescribed & what dosage I’m likely to take. I didn’t even think about this until Tuesday & have left it too late to get the letters done. I’ll be taking a dirty great big bottle of Ibroufen instead in my suitcase, if that doesn’t work I’ll go to plan B) Greek Brandy!! Kills 99% of all known germs.

I’d really hoped that by this point in recovery I’d be a lot closer to 100% than I am. I reckon I’m somewhere around 65% tops. Carol & I will have a great break. Sun, sea, sand & sleep. & when we’re back it’ll be just in time to celebrate Max reaching 18, so long as he does nothing stupid whilst we’re away that is. 

I’ll also need to evaluate where I am as far as work goes when I get back. I get the feeling that they’d like me to be back full time from July, at the moment I’m not sure I’m able to do that, but we shall see.

I’ve managed to complete 14,000 words of the book of this blog. That’s taken me to the end of February 2016 & equate to about 90 pages. My plan is to finish the script at the end of July & hopefully have the book ready for publication by the beginning of September. I’m indebted to a good friend who’s agreed to edit it for me & give me “Warts ‘n all” feedback on the first 14,000 words, so by the time I get back from Corfu it could be edited down to 7,000 words.

Now those of you who know me well would remember that the pre-cancer Paul Clark was a bit of a judgemental so ‘n so. It was a case of “Gay until proven straight!” Last night I watched “The Big C & me” on BBC. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to really watch this program or not, but I’m so glad I did. It focused on 3 people who’d been diagnosed with cancer. One young lad who was one of 8 children. An elderly lady in her 80’s who was trying to decide if she should have treatment, & a young teenage girl who was facing the prospect of experimental treatment in the USA. I won’t spoil it for anyone who wants to watch on iPlayer, but what I will say is don’t judge a book by it’s cover. It took me back to my first days of meeting “Sports Direct Mum”, it made me cry.

Carol & I are off to Gatwick at silly o’clock tomorrow morning, flying out at 5.55am with SleazyJet. I’ve resigned myself to the knowledge that we’ll be treated like shoite from the minute we check in until the minute we pick up our baggage (hopefully) at Corfu airport, anything else is a Brucie Bonus!

My next appointment with Scary is scheduled for 30^th June, so until then, Yamas & tackle out!

Thanks for reading as always.

To be continued……………………

#shouldertoshoulder