Apparently I’m in remission, often wondered what that means…….

“Remission….

A decrease in or disappearance of signs and symptoms of cancer. In partial remission, some, but not all, signs and symptoms of cancer have disappeared. In complete remission, all signs and symptoms of cancer have disappeared, although cancer still may be in the body.”

Monday 2^nd May

The rest of this blog is going to be written with just my own eyes in mind, however it’ll probably be published as per usual. If truth be known I’ve enjoyed putting into words what’s been going on in my life since Christmas. My decision to end the blog last week was taken in haste after getting the good news. Since the euphoria of the news from the hospital it’s been down to earth with a bit of a bang. My throat is as sore as it’s been since my treatment ended, I’m struggling to swallow properly. Sleep is becoming difficult too. So all in all not a great place at the moment. In my mind’s eye I guess I heard the news that cancer had buggered off & expected everything to be better straight away. That was never going to be the case & I’m still going to have really tough days ahead for the foreseeable future. The past Bank Holiday weekend was a case in point. I’ve hardly left the house since Thursday & have little energy to do anything productive. The weather was half decent, but I couldn’t even get the energy together to go for a bike ride.

Tomorrow I’ll be going back to work after 4 months off. I’m looking forward to the day to day contact with people, I’m not necessarily looking forward to the politics & box ticking of a big organisation. It’ll be for around 3 or 4 hours a day & I’ve only 5 weeks to work prior to going on holiday, so it’s a case of easing myself back into the flow. They key will be to ensure I don’t overdo things in the early days. This quote was posted on FB, probably sums things up perfectly - Road to recover is full of grumpy bear traps so don't let the idiots spoil your calm by being idiots.

This will be the next step on my road to recovery & probably worth recording for my own purposes. 

I’ve contacted the CNS Nurses regarding a Fitness Support Group that Jo mentioned when I saw her last. Whilst I’m cycling as & when I can I think a more regimented regime could do me some good. The lack of rugby between now & September means I’ve a bit of time on my hands, so let’s not waste it & get myself fit. Rams finished their season with a 33-33 draw down at Redruth, sounds like I missed a cracking weekend. Even as late as the Friday night I was considering driving down, probably too far to go in one day though.

A quick rant for this blog. I’ve been doing quite a bit of the household shopping of late & I’ve noticed that the vast majority of people in front of me at the checkout appear to be surprised that they have to pay! By this I mean when they’ve packed there last item into their shopping bags they haven’t already got their purse / wallet out ready to pay the cashier, or they’ve busy ferreting around for that one voucher that’ll save then 10p off of their £70.00 bill!!! Folks, if you’re buying stuff, be prepared to pay for it in a timely manner!

I’ve mentioned that my mother is in a Care Home in deepest darkest Wales, well it now appears as though my father will be joining her in the not too distant future. He’s been losing his marbles for some time now, it’s probably for the best & will make visiting easier when I can drive that far, not that either of them will know who the heck I am.

Tuesday 3^rd May

First day back to the grindstone. A pretty poor night’s sleep, but perhaps understandable. We were up fairly early, the laptop booted up by 8am. Not the most productive day I’ve ever had, but I didn’t really expect it to be so. A shed load of emails deleted, if I haven’t replied by now, I’m not going to! 2 sets of Statutory Training completed & a few mails sent to key contacts to say, “Hello, I’m still alive”.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qM0zINtulhM Some pretty amusing replies too. One of which was "Don't worry about getting back to normal, normal is over rated!" The laptop was shut down at around 1pm as I’d done enough for one day. The morning was broken up nicely by a visit from old friends who were down from Solihull for the weekend. Mike & I used to work together, originally 35 or so years ago for Lloyds Bank & then again for Security Pacific. It was good to catch up over a coffee, it’s been too long. Carol & I will be making our way up the M6 later in the year. I rewarded myself for my hard work with a ribeye steak I found in the freezer (An advantage of only having 3 of us at home & buying steaks in packs of 4) topped off with a fried egg! Decedent? Moi? My intention was to take the bike out for an hour or so after lunch, my intention didn’t happen. After lunch I stuck the TV on for ½ hour or so, promptly feel asleep & woke up at 3.15 just before Max came back in from school!

Another couple of calls from darkest Wales today, my father is going into a care home as from tomorrow for a minimum of 4 weeks. My sister who lives on their doorstep is going away for a couple of weeks, & there’s no way we could get up there, or he could come down here, so little choice really & best all round.

There was a slightly strange feeling about today. I was almost thinking “Well, that’s the rest of my life planned out then”. Whilst I was off sick & waiting for the prognosis a part of me wondered if I’d ever get back to work again. Now that I’m on my way back it’s feeling a bit flat. Maybe once we get our holiday out of the way I’ll be able to settle back into the work routine. If not I may have to decide on my future plans.

The evening light was too good not to get the camera out - 

Wednesday 4^th May

“May the forth be with you” J

My morning at work was spent completing my first section of mandatory training. I’m sure most large companies do the same sort of thing, & I’m equally sure that those of a certain vintage don’t bother reading the workbook & go straight to the assessment. Well I failed one of the test 5 times (we need a minimum of 80% to pass) before finally getting a pass. I packed in around 1pm & went out for a bike ride. I reckon it was only about 8k & again I forgot to set Strava, but the exercise certainly got the blood flowing on what was probably the warmest day of the year. A now “AS PER USUAL” doze on the sofa was the recipe for the remainder of the afternoon, before prepping dinner :

A Clark patented recipe for your delight :

Chicken with pasta

Four chicken breasts, cubed.

1 red chilli, finely sliced.

1 red pepper, finely sliced.

1 stick of celery, finely sliced.

12 cherry tomatoes, quartered.

Large glass of white wine (drunk!)

Another large glass of white wine.

Put all the above ingredients in a large oven proof dish, season well. Stick in a oven, preheated to 180 degrees for around 30 mins.

After 30 mins stick your favourite fresh pasta into a saucepan of gently boiling water for around 5 mins, drain well & divide between 4 plates. Pile the chicken on top, open a half decent bottle of red & jobs a good ‘un! The sauce will be perhaps a bit runny, but the pasta should wipe that up nicely. You could add some grated parmesan if you wished, but I’m not a massive fan of the heat of chilli combined with cheese.

Having looked at the weather forecast for the next few days I think I’ll be digging out my shorts & flip flops, an advantage of working from home for sure & a chance perhaps to get a base tan before hitting Corfu! (In case anyone from RBH is reading, I’ll be wearing factor 50 on my face / neck)

Thursday 5^th May

Not a good day. I was up early after a poor night’s sleep & logged onto the laptop just after 7am. However I struggled to get much done as my throat was giving me hell & I was close to resorting to paracetamol to calm down the pain. Overall not a very productive day, either work wise or my own time.

Friday 6^th May

Throat was pretty darn sore again today. I worked through from 7am until midday & then packed in for the day. One of the things I’m finding quite challenging with going back to work is smoking. I very rarely smoked in the house, but as I work from home I’d often pop out onto the patio whilst speaking to people on the phone. Obviously I haven’t smoked since mid December & I won’t again, but I am finding it difficult at the moment.

I think I’ve found this week harder than I thought I would. Even the simplest of tasks have been difficult if you know what I mean! I guess I’ll have to head the advice given & take things easy for the first few weeks. I have no intention of making myself ill over this.

Max is over with current squeeze this evening, so Carol & I have a night to ourselves. Sea Bream has defrosted, I’ve yet to decide how to cook it, probably simple fry with potatoes & a salad as I can’t be bothered to do anything overly complex this evening.

The weekend should be good, health permitting. Anna is back down from Uni with the latest squeeze (Tom), & we’re all off to the Rams May Ball & Presentation evening tomorrow night. Max & Bella make up the Clark contingent. I think it’s the first time the whole family have been. It’s the one night of the year I get to wear my Honours Cap, awarded to me in the 2012/13 Season. I know I look a bit of a prat wearing it, I’ve never had the head shape to suit caps, but I’ll wear it with pride. An evening of Black Tie, Ball Gowns & decadence awaits.

Probably a surprise to be reading a blog post so soon? Well, I’m nothing if not a self publicist!

To be continued…………………………….

#Shouldertoshoulder