Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

The “Beast from the East” has finally arrived in Berkshire. We woke up on Thursday morning to around two inches of snow, a wind chill of somewhere close to minus 10 and frozen pipes to the washing machine. Earlier this week I had to travel up to London for a monthly management meeting, the first I’d attended for over two years following the initial cancer fun ‘n games. (Incidentally, its two years this week that I finished my first course of Chemo and Radiotherapy).

 

The meeting was to be held in the central London offices of one of the suppliers we deal with as a company, there were people travelling from as far a field as Manchester, Weston-Super-Mare and Birmingham, and of course Tilehurst. When I drove down to Tilehurst station the car temperature gauge was showing a balmy minus seven degrees. Oh well, I’d checked the trains before leaving the house and there were no delays to the 7.38 to Paddington…………… the 7.38 to Paddington was cancelled, as was the 7.55 and 8.04. The 8.12 arrived though, at 8.23! 40+ minutes standing on a frozen platform wrecked my throat. I was making horrible noises and was getting funny looks from my fellow frozen travellers. I was lucky enough to get a seat on the train and spent the journey coughing and spluttering into tissues via my stoma, not a pretty sight.

I’d arranged to meet a colleague who was travelling up from the West Country at Paddington, he was due in just after 9am. You can probably guess the next bit…………….. His train eventually pulled in at 9.30 by which time I was frozen to the bone, struggling to speak and rapidly running low on tissues. The tube journey over to the Barbican on the Circle line was fun and games, we got as far as Baker St when the baseplate I was wearing just gave way under the pressure of my coughing and completely fell off, this was the first time that had ever happened to me. It was a case of quickly jump off the tube, clean the stoma, dry the skin, replace the baseplate and wait another 15 minutes for the next train to arrive. My colleague, who’s known me for about 10 years now, was very understanding and even held the mirror for me whilst I was putting on the new baseplate. We eventually made it to the offices of our supplier just before 10.30, after a quick stop to stock up on coffee and bacon rolls.

The office we were visiting was smack in the middle of the City of London and based on the 15^th Floor of a tower block, with wonderful views stretching for miles on a clear day.

The day was anything but clear however. After about 10 minutes it started to snow a bit, then a bit more and then an awful lot more, until by about 11.30 it was a total “White Out” with all the surrounding buildings shrouded by the blizzard. I was beginning to get a bit concerned about travelling back home if the snow continued as it was. I was also not feeling great. I had to excuse myself from the meeting about five times to go and clear the stoma out and struggled to speak clearly when needed. Typically, at one point in the meeting a discussion was taking place on a subject that was not really of any importance, I managed to utter “Bollox” at what I thought was a whisper, but it came out pretty loudly and perfectly clearly!

The meeting eventually broke up and I made my weary way back to Paddington and the train back home. Luckily the trains were running pretty much to schedule which was amazing and I was home just before 6pm. It was a hugely challenging and at times emotional day, but I survived it. I was also on my last HME having used six through the day, by far the largest number in a day for a fair few weeks. It was Neville’s last Puppy Training session that evening, but I was too jiggered to go, so Carol had the pleasure of seeing him pass out with flying colours. Neville celebrated his release from Borstal by having his first “Snow Day”, Neville likes “Snow Days”…………… 

I was due to have my second meeting with the Lymphoedema nurse Jan on Thursday, but unsurprisingly due to the weather it was cancelled. However Jan mailed me to say she’d be sending me some pre-cut K Tape in the post so I could apply it myself until my next appointment. I’ve been doing my exercises this week along with the massaging of the scars as shown, its early days so no real results yet. But I’m feeling “loved” by the NHS as always, that’s half the battle.

Now for the main topic of this brief update, I want to talk about poo!

I’ve known that dogs poo for a fair few years now and since becoming Senior Assistant to Neville I’ve realised that on average he likes to poo between two and three times a day. He’s also pretty good at letting us know when he needs to go by either circling manically or head butting the door from the lounge into the conservatory. It isn’t the most pleasant task in the world to pick up after your dog, but its part and parcel of being an Assistant. If there’s one advantage to the procedure I had done last summer it’s that I have no sense of smell at all, so picking up dog poo isn’t really an issue to me. If I’ve got Neville with me I now don’t leave the house without a supply of poo bags, in fact even when he isn’t with me I’ve probably still got the bags with me. I’ve yet to reach into my coat pocket and find a nicely wrapped parcel still there three days after the act, but it’s bound to happen at some point. In all the walks I’ve done with him I can honestly say that only once have I not picked up his poo. That was when he managed to perform in a verge after crawling under a barbed wire fence at the local woods. His deposit was nowhere near where any one would ever have been able to actually walk themselves. So I didn’t feel too guilty. Generally, when walking around the paths close to home or in the local park dog poo hasn’t been a problem. That all changes when we get up to our favoured walk, Sulham Woods, the place is just covered in poo all over the paths. It’s not just a case of being on the verges or the edges of the path, it’s often smack in the middle of the path. I really can’t understand the mentality of someone who’s prepared to own a dog and all that entails, but not be prepared to pick up its mess. Before Neville bounded his way into our life (He’s the most uncoordinated animal I’ve ever seen, often tripping over his own paws.) I was known as someone who wasn’t overly keen on dogs on public areas. At the rugby club when I was Mini and then Junior Manager I’d often walk the pitches before matches clearing poo off the playing surfaces. Dog mess and small children really don’t mix. If I’d had my way I’d have deployed snipers on the club house roof to pick of the guilty owners, not the dogs, it’s not their fault, it’s the owners!

So, if you’re the assistant to a dog and it has a poo, pick the offending item up, place it in a bin and be a responsible adult! If you can’t do that then don’t own a dog.

This coming weekend is going to be interesting. Max is due to be playing for the Mighty Cents (Rams 3^rd XV) away to Maidenhead on their 3G All Weather Pitch. Rams 1^st XV are due to play Wimbledon at Old Bath Road, but as the weather is so crap that’s been changed and they’ll also play at Maidenhead RFC, as will the 2^nd XV, so it looks like Rams will take over Maids on Saturday. Suspect the Maids bar takings will be increased from their usual take. A great chance to take shots of three Rams teams in action on the same day. I must make sure I pack my spare memory cards.

On Sunday Carol, Neville and I are travelling down to our beloved Porthcothan Bay for 4 days, so long as the snow and ice sods off, doesn’t it know it’s officially Spring now? This will be Nev’s first long trip in the car since we brought him home from deepest, darkest Dorset, and I’m slightly concerned as to how he’ll take it. Stops at the services may well be more frequent than our usual “One Stop Splash ‘Dash”. We’ve hired a cottage at Carnevas Caravan Park, the same place where we spent our honeymoon, the same place we’ve stayed at almost every year since. We’re hoping there isn’t a repeat of the disgraceful scenes we suffered last year - The Great Cornish Doughnut Debacle  

We’re very much going to play things by ear whilst we’re in Cornwall. It’ll be “Weather Dependent”. We will get Neville onto the beach, throwing his new Chuckit Ball about.

We will get to the Tredrea Inn for lunch and a couple of pints.

We will walk along the cliffs.

We will be taking loads of photos. We will be having dinner at Rick Steins Sea Food Restaurant on Tuesday evening. We will be meeting Sidney, Ed and Vicky Thompson on Monday evening. New readers won’t know that Sidney is Neville’s big brother. It also transpires that the annual Sidney Awards (Far bigger than the Oscar’s) are taking place on Monday evening, so Neville may well get a walk on part in the ceremony. Other than that, we’ve nothing planned J

So, I’m ending the week looking forward to next week. It’s been a real struggle at times over the last few weeks. Reality of what the future holds is beginning to hit home quite hard. It’s very easy to get quite “Down” when you’re struggling with the stoma due to the shoite weather. But Spring is just around the corner, Summer will arrive, a sun holiday will happen in April or May, the corner will be turned. I’m less than 12 months into life changing and lifesaving surgery, I’m entitled to get a bit pissed off with things if I want to.  

Cornwall beckons, life isn’t all bad.

As always, thanks for reading.

To be continued…………………..

#Shoulder2Shoulder