That End of Term Feeling…….
The last couple of months
have involved a bit more investigative treatment into some problems I’ve been
having with my neck. That got me thinking about all the treatments I’ve
undergone over the past 3 + years. Before I expand on what’s been going on I thought
I’d give a quick break down of all the treatments I’ve been subjected to.
Treatment Description Discomfort Level
CAT Scan Lie
down, not painful. Scans the body for nasties. 3
- Slightly claustrophobic.
Biopsy Take a sample of body tissue to
test for cancerous cells. 3
- General Aesthetic, so a bit sore the next day.
PET Scan Similar
to a CAT Scan, but does the whole body. 5
- More claustrophobic than a CAT Scan and went on for longer.
Fine Needle Aspiration Taking a biopsy using a
non-invasive procedure. 8
- Bloody painful and uncomfortable. Hated it!
Radio Therapy Zaps the bastard that
is cancer with radio waves. 7
- Far worse than I envisaged. Made me feel god awful.
Chemo Zaps the bastard that is cancer
with chemicals. 5
- Not as bad as I thought. Made me feel tired, but no sickness or hair loss.
Surgery Cuts
out the bastard that is cancer. 6
- Pain levels were very low, obviously the long term effect was major.
Ultra Sound Cold
gel, magic camera, bit of Witchcraft. 1
- Pushes a bit on the scars of surgery, but no real problem.
MRA Scan Similar
to a CAT / PET Scan. 8
- One of the worst experiences of the last 3 years. Hugely claustrophobic and
incredibly noisy. HORRIBLE!
Life Breathing,
eating, working, being “normal” 7
– A lot more difficult than I’d hoped it would be.
About two months ago I
noticed a lump developing on the right hand side of my throat, roughly where
the original cancer had been. It grew to the size of a lemon and was obviously
concerning to me. I mentioned it to the Consultant on my regular check-up and
he agreed that it needed a bit of investigation. Firstly he booked me in for an
Ultra Sound to see if that could ID the problem. Up I rocked to the RBH,
wearing a Rams top (there’s a surprise) to be greeted by the Dr. who’d
performed the Fine Needle Aspiration on me back in January 2016. He recognised
the shirt, and I recognised him. His two sons both play for Marlow RFC which
we’d talked about in the early days. He performed the scan, and reckoned it all
looked ok on the swelling, he thought it was probably down to muscle growth. I
left feeling pretty relieved as my record of being not very good at getting
better is pretty good. I was a bit concerned to then get a phone call from the
Consultant to say that he’d like me to have an MRI Scan to see if there was
anything going on that the Ultra Sound had missed. Dotting the I’s and crossing
the T’s I hoped. I was quite surprised when the appointment came in for 9am on
a Sunday morning! After having had CAT Scans and PET Scans I wasn’t really
worried too much about a MRI. My God I was wrong. It was truly horrible. I was
strapped in so I couldn’t move an inch and then the machine started. For the
next 40 minutes I couldn’t move and was subjected to a series of beeps, buzzes,
squeaks and crashes that really got inside my head. A couple of times I was
very close to sticking my hand up and shouting “I’m a coward, get me out of
here”, but I just about managed to get through it by closing my eyes and trying
to think happy thoughts. Again I was concerned to get yet another call from my
Consultant to say that whilst the swelling on my throat was indeed just muscle
growth, they were concerned about some abnormal nodes that had shown up on the
left hand side of my neck. He’d booked me in for another Fine Needle Aspiration
procedure (see above for the pain levels!). Suddenly, when I thought I could
get on with life, I took a massive curve back to thinking “What if?” I went to
a very dark place.
A bit of levity was brought
to the proceedings when I replied to a Tweet by Victoria Derbyshire, of BBC
fame, asking if anyone was stockpiling any sort of supplies because of
potential issues with Brexit. I said that I’d been over ordering my Lary
supplies for about six months as they all came from an EU country and I didn’t
want to risk being without what I class as essential supplies. I was contacted
by one of the members of the production team on Victoria’s daily BBC2 show to
ask if I’d be able to appear the next day to discuss my concerns. Without
really thinking about the possible consequences I agreed to travel up to the
BBC studios on Regent St and have make up put on me. Bright and early on the
Wednesday morning I arrived at the Beeb, getting through reception was a
challenge, as was meeting the “runner” who was sent to meet me, they obviously
missed the bit about I’d be a neck speaker. Eventually I was shown into the
Green Room which despite my expectations didn’t have wall to wall free booze
and dancing girls. Instead the room was fairly drab, had cardboard boxes in the
corner and two flasks of tea or coffee, not even a digestive biscuit. I was
there about five minutes when in walked another victim for the show. This chap
had travelled down from Norfolk to talk on the show about how he was
stockpiling canned and frozen food, he was under the impression it was going to
be a light hearted discussion, seeing me sitting there complete with Lary
seemed to shake him a bit. Poor lamb J
Victoria came in and
introduced herself before we went live. She took a good 10 – 15 minutes
chatting with me about the procedures I’d been through, how I coped and my
concerns. She showed a huge amount of empathy to me, as a fellow cancer victim
herself. We were shown into the studio about 10 minutes before going live, it
was fascinating to see how a TV show works. Even up to 2 minutes before going
on air the script was being changed. Victoria has told us not to look at the
cameras when we were talking and to try and treat it just like a conversation.
I thought I’d struggle, but once we got going it seemed quite easy. It helped
that one of the other guests who was beamed live from her home in Glasgow was
also discussing her concerns about the continued supplies of her husband’s
medical supplies. I did feel a tad sorry for Mr “Canned and Frozen Food” as he
was a little out of his depth. After about 20 minutes our portion of the show
finished and we were ushered out of the studio, down the corridor and back into
the bright lights of Regent St. My 15 minutes of fame were over, back to the
day job, unless of course my phone rang with offers of Panto in
Weston-Super-Mare………….
…………………… no phone calls from
Movie Moguls, no calls from Panto Agents, just a bunch of Tweets accusing me of
wasting NHS resources, being a hoarder, and other such total bollox. For the
record, the kit I order has no sell by date, so if there isn’t a problem with
whatever type of Brexit is finally agreed then I’ll just under order for the next
few months following the agreement. Maybe next time I’ll think a bit more
before agreeing to go on live TV. And, also for the record, my shirt was red,
not pink J
In my last blog post I wrote
how I hoped I’d be able to mention that Rams had won their league the next time
I published. I’m really pleased to say that on a balmy April day I travelled
down to Clifton RFC and witnessed one of the most complete performances of the
season from the team as they ran out comprehensive 45 – 21 winners to take the
league title. This means that next season Rams will be playing in National
League One, the third tier of rugby. From a side I started watching when they
were Level 8 this is a massive achievement. Everyone involved with the club
should be hugely proud of the achievement of the players, support staff,
coaches, and all the other people who put in the effort week in, week out to
get the team on the pitch.
and the second season of
the Sirens 7s side
I’ve mentioned in past blogs
about the “Lary Group” I attended at the Royal Berkshire Hospital a few times.
It’s not really for me, but the work they do to promote Lary’s, or Neck
Breathers as we’re also known is invaluable. A recent article in the Reading
Chronicle highlighted a concert that the Lary choir would be holding at a local
school. Two members of the group I attended will be singing in the choir. However
what got me about the article was the fact that social isolation the public
perception were both mentioned as a major problem of being a Lary. Over the
last 19 months or so since I had the chop I’ve become more of a recluse, more
inclined to go home and hide, less able to hang around and try and converse.
And that’s with my friends…………… When it comes to strangers I really just try
and avoid scenarios whereby I may have to interact in a vocal manner. The one
area it’s been ok has been when I’m walking Nev in the mornings. We tend to go
to the same place most days, and at the same time, so we meet the same people.
There’s something about walking a dog that makes you say “Good morning” to a
fellow dog walker. Eventually you start chatting as you walk the same walk, you
get to know people’s names, a bit about their back story, all because you
happen to be the assistant to a dog. The other really easy interaction is with
kids. Nev & I often visit the local coffee shop on our afternoon walk,
invariably there will be pre-school kids there who want to stroke the “Disney
Dog”. Now that he’s a bit more mature Nev doesn’t mind being petted too much,
so long as he gets a few dog treats to compensate for his indignity. I’ve
noticed that when the kids are asking me if it’s ok to pet Nev that they don’t
bat an eyelid when I croak back at them, oh how I wish everyone reacted the
same way as the children do. Work is really difficult at the moment, I’ve no
confidence when it comes to speaking to customers either over the phone, or
face to face. I really need to get my act together, bite the bullet and accept
that I’m not normal, but I am me.
The Easter weekend was spent visiting Anna and Tom up in Leeds. Like just about the whole of the UK we benefited from a mini heatwave. Yorkshire in the warmth and sunshine it a truly beautiful county. We visited a few local sites during our stay including one morning and early afternoon spent walking around Knaresborough Neville enjoyed his stay "Up t'North" even if he struggled to understand to other dogs and their strange accents.
On Wednesday of this week I
was back at the RBH for the next and hopefully final procedure for a while. It
stated off with another Ultra Sound to see whether I needed a Fine Needle
Aspiration (FNA) following the MRI. It took a good 10 to 15 minutes of pushing
on my sore and scarred neck to ascertain that yes, they would need to stick
needles into my neck. It hurt, it hurt a lot. The neck area they were exploring
was the area most invasively affected by the surgery I’d undergone in June
2017. There is little or no muscle left in that area now, so each time the
needle entered my neck there was no protection. The process of obtaining cell samples
for a biopsy involves twisting the needle around once it’s in my neck. The best
way of describing it is to think about a corkscrew being inserted into your
neck and then twisted to get an errant cork out. After 40 minutes of total
unpleasantness I was finally free to go. I asked the Dr. when the results would
be ready. His answer of 5 to 10 days, but they’ll contact you if there’s a
problem didn’t go down well. I need to know if the news is good, not if it’s
bad! An email to the CNS Team asking for the results to be given to me one way
or another has been sent……………………… Two days on and my neck is still incredibly
sore and bruised.
After a fairly quiet week I’m
looking forward to traveling to Canterbury on Saturday to watch Rams finish off
their league campaign. It should be a good match as Canterbury have finished
runners up in the league, behind Rams. Sunday sees the end of the Mini and
Junior rugby seasons. I’ll be at OBR to photograph the Mini’s as they receive
their End of Season awards.
That’s all for now folks.
As always, thanks for
reading.
To be continued……………..
#Shoulder2Shoulder
