That End of Term Feeling…….   

The last couple of months have involved a bit more investigative treatment into some problems I’ve been having with my neck. That got me thinking about all the treatments I’ve undergone over the past 3 + years. Before I expand on what’s been going on I thought I’d give a quick break down of all the treatments I’ve been subjected to.

Treatment                   Description                                                              Discomfort Level 

CAT Scan                     Lie down, not painful. Scans the body for nasties.  3 - Slightly claustrophobic.

Biopsy                         Take a sample of body tissue to test for cancerous cells.     3 - General Aesthetic, so a bit sore the next day.

PET Scan                     Similar to a CAT Scan, but does the whole body.    5 - More claustrophobic than a CAT Scan and went on for longer. 

Fine Needle Aspiration Taking a biopsy using a non-invasive procedure.     8 - Bloody painful and uncomfortable. Hated it!

Radio Therapy               Zaps the bastard that is cancer with radio waves.     7 - Far worse than I envisaged. Made me feel god awful.

Chemo                            Zaps the bastard that is cancer with chemicals.         5 - Not as bad as I thought. Made me feel tired, but no sickness or hair loss.

Surgery                           Cuts out the bastard that is cancer.                             6 - Pain levels were very low, obviously the long term effect was major.

Ultra Sound                     Cold gel, magic camera, bit of Witchcraft.                1 - Pushes a bit on the scars of surgery, but no real problem.

MRA Scan                       Similar to a CAT / PET Scan.                                    8 - One of the worst experiences of the last 3 years. Hugely claustrophobic and incredibly noisy. HORRIBLE!

Life                                   Breathing, eating, working, being “normal”             7 – A lot more difficult than I’d hoped it would be.

About two months ago I noticed a lump developing on the right hand side of my throat, roughly where the original cancer had been. It grew to the size of a lemon and was obviously concerning to me. I mentioned it to the Consultant on my regular check-up and he agreed that it needed a bit of investigation. Firstly he booked me in for an Ultra Sound to see if that could ID the problem. Up I rocked to the RBH, wearing a Rams top (there’s a surprise) to be greeted by the Dr. who’d performed the Fine Needle Aspiration on me back in January 2016. He recognised the shirt, and I recognised him. His two sons both play for Marlow RFC which we’d talked about in the early days. He performed the scan, and reckoned it all looked ok on the swelling, he thought it was probably down to muscle growth. I left feeling pretty relieved as my record of being not very good at getting better is pretty good. I was a bit concerned to then get a phone call from the Consultant to say that he’d like me to have an MRI Scan to see if there was anything going on that the Ultra Sound had missed. Dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s I hoped. I was quite surprised when the appointment came in for 9am on a Sunday morning! After having had CAT Scans and PET Scans I wasn’t really worried too much about a MRI. My God I was wrong. It was truly horrible. I was strapped in so I couldn’t move an inch and then the machine started. For the next 40 minutes I couldn’t move and was subjected to a series of beeps, buzzes, squeaks and crashes that really got inside my head. A couple of times I was very close to sticking my hand up and shouting “I’m a coward, get me out of here”, but I just about managed to get through it by closing my eyes and trying to think happy thoughts. Again I was concerned to get yet another call from my Consultant to say that whilst the swelling on my throat was indeed just muscle growth, they were concerned about some abnormal nodes that had shown up on the left hand side of my neck. He’d booked me in for another Fine Needle Aspiration procedure (see above for the pain levels!). Suddenly, when I thought I could get on with life, I took a massive curve back to thinking “What if?” I went to a very dark place.

A bit of levity was brought to the proceedings when I replied to a Tweet by Victoria Derbyshire, of BBC fame, asking if anyone was stockpiling any sort of supplies because of potential issues with Brexit. I said that I’d been over ordering my Lary supplies for about six months as they all came from an EU country and I didn’t want to risk being without what I class as essential supplies. I was contacted by one of the members of the production team on Victoria’s daily BBC2 show to ask if I’d be able to appear the next day to discuss my concerns. Without really thinking about the possible consequences I agreed to travel up to the BBC studios on Regent St and have make up put on me. Bright and early on the Wednesday morning I arrived at the Beeb, getting through reception was a challenge, as was meeting the “runner” who was sent to meet me, they obviously missed the bit about I’d be a neck speaker. Eventually I was shown into the Green Room which despite my expectations didn’t have wall to wall free booze and dancing girls. Instead the room was fairly drab, had cardboard boxes in the corner and two flasks of tea or coffee, not even a digestive biscuit. I was there about five minutes when in walked another victim for the show. This chap had travelled down from Norfolk to talk on the show about how he was stockpiling canned and frozen food, he was under the impression it was going to be a light hearted discussion, seeing me sitting there complete with Lary seemed to shake him a bit. Poor lamb J

Victoria came in and introduced herself before we went live. She took a good 10 – 15 minutes chatting with me about the procedures I’d been through, how I coped and my concerns. She showed a huge amount of empathy to me, as a fellow cancer victim herself. We were shown into the studio about 10 minutes before going live, it was fascinating to see how a TV show works. Even up to 2 minutes before going on air the script was being changed. Victoria has told us not to look at the cameras when we were talking and to try and treat it just like a conversation. I thought I’d struggle, but once we got going it seemed quite easy. It helped that one of the other guests who was beamed live from her home in Glasgow was also discussing her concerns about the continued supplies of her husband’s medical supplies. I did feel a tad sorry for Mr “Canned and Frozen Food” as he was a little out of his depth. After about 20 minutes our portion of the show finished and we were ushered out of the studio, down the corridor and back into the bright lights of Regent St. My 15 minutes of fame were over, back to the day job, unless of course my phone rang with offers of Panto in Weston-Super-Mare………….

…………………… no phone calls from Movie Moguls, no calls from Panto Agents, just a bunch of Tweets accusing me of wasting NHS resources, being a hoarder, and other such total bollox. For the record, the kit I order has no sell by date, so if there isn’t a problem with whatever type of Brexit is finally agreed then I’ll just under order for the next few months following the agreement. Maybe next time I’ll think a bit more before agreeing to go on live TV. And, also for the record, my shirt was red, not pink J 

In my last blog post I wrote how I hoped I’d be able to mention that Rams had won their league the next time I published. I’m really pleased to say that on a balmy April day I travelled down to Clifton RFC and witnessed one of the most complete performances of the season from the team as they ran out comprehensive 45 – 21 winners to take the league title. This means that next season Rams will be playing in National League One, the third tier of rugby. From a side I started watching when they were Level 8 this is a massive achievement. Everyone involved with the club should be hugely proud of the achievement of the players, support staff, coaches, and all the other people who put in the effort week in, week out to get the team on the pitch. 

 The 15 a side season is just about over, soon it’ll be time to focus the lens on the 7 a side festivals and the return of the mighty Badgers,

 

and the second season of the Sirens 7s side 

 Carol and I are hoping to get down to Newquay in June to watch Max play, of course the fact that it’s not far from our beloved Porthcothan has nothing to do with it at all, honest ‘guv.

I’ve mentioned in past blogs about the “Lary Group” I attended at the Royal Berkshire Hospital a few times. It’s not really for me, but the work they do to promote Lary’s, or Neck Breathers as we’re also known is invaluable. A recent article in the Reading Chronicle highlighted a concert that the Lary choir would be holding at a local school. Two members of the group I attended will be singing in the choir. However what got me about the article was the fact that social isolation the public perception were both mentioned as a major problem of being a Lary. Over the last 19 months or so since I had the chop I’ve become more of a recluse, more inclined to go home and hide, less able to hang around and try and converse. And that’s with my friends…………… When it comes to strangers I really just try and avoid scenarios whereby I may have to interact in a vocal manner. The one area it’s been ok has been when I’m walking Nev in the mornings. We tend to go to the same place most days, and at the same time, so we meet the same people. There’s something about walking a dog that makes you say “Good morning” to a fellow dog walker. Eventually you start chatting as you walk the same walk, you get to know people’s names, a bit about their back story, all because you happen to be the assistant to a dog. The other really easy interaction is with kids. Nev & I often visit the local coffee shop on our afternoon walk, invariably there will be pre-school kids there who want to stroke the “Disney Dog”. Now that he’s a bit more mature Nev doesn’t mind being petted too much, so long as he gets a few dog treats to compensate for his indignity. I’ve noticed that when the kids are asking me if it’s ok to pet Nev that they don’t bat an eyelid when I croak back at them, oh how I wish everyone reacted the same way as the children do. Work is really difficult at the moment, I’ve no confidence when it comes to speaking to customers either over the phone, or face to face. I really need to get my act together, bite the bullet and accept that I’m not normal, but I am me.

The Easter weekend was spent visiting Anna and Tom up in Leeds. Like just about the whole of the UK we benefited from a mini heatwave. Yorkshire in the warmth and sunshine it a truly beautiful county. We visited a few local sites during our stay including one morning and early afternoon spent walking around Knaresborough Neville enjoyed his stay "Up t'North" even if he struggled to understand to other dogs and their strange accents. 

On Wednesday of this week I was back at the RBH for the next and hopefully final procedure for a while. It stated off with another Ultra Sound to see whether I needed a Fine Needle Aspiration (FNA) following the MRI. It took a good 10 to 15 minutes of pushing on my sore and scarred neck to ascertain that yes, they would need to stick needles into my neck. It hurt, it hurt a lot. The neck area they were exploring was the area most invasively affected by the surgery I’d undergone in June 2017. There is little or no muscle left in that area now, so each time the needle entered my neck there was no protection. The process of obtaining cell samples for a biopsy involves twisting the needle around once it’s in my neck. The best way of describing it is to think about a corkscrew being inserted into your neck and then twisted to get an errant cork out. After 40 minutes of total unpleasantness I was finally free to go. I asked the Dr. when the results would be ready. His answer of 5 to 10 days, but they’ll contact you if there’s a problem didn’t go down well. I need to know if the news is good, not if it’s bad! An email to the CNS Team asking for the results to be given to me one way or another has been sent……………………… Two days on and my neck is still incredibly sore and bruised.

After a fairly quiet week I’m looking forward to traveling to Canterbury on Saturday to watch Rams finish off their league campaign. It should be a good match as Canterbury have finished runners up in the league, behind Rams. Sunday sees the end of the Mini and Junior rugby seasons. I’ll be at OBR to photograph the Mini’s as they receive their End of Season awards.

That’s all for now folks.

As always, thanks for reading.

To be continued……………..

#Shoulder2Shoulder