Family and Friends.

A busy weekend of rugby and photos meant I was fairly knackered by the time we got to Monday morning. On Saturday I caught the train over to Twyford to meet up with Shaun and Neil for a quick pint before heading off to meet Owen and Graeme and onto Henley for the big match of the day. Shaun had come prepared for the day, arriving with a dozen of Waitrose’s best doughnuts! This photo was taken in Henley and is the Lad’s ‘n Dad’s. Graeme, Owen and Neil, with their respective offspring, Liam, Ben and Conor.

 The first thing we have in common is that all of our sons were in the same year at school and all played for Redingensians RFC. We’ve all watched our lads grow up from snotty nosed little kids, into the brilliant young men they are today. We’ve had our run in’s over the years, as you’d expect from any group of friends, probably makes us stronger. Max would have been in the picture however he was over at Tadley RFC playing for the Mighty Cents and getting his first try of the season in his first game of the season. It usually takes him until December until he troubles the scorers. Graeme was the person who initially came up with the idea of #Shoulder2Shoulder and was one of the first people I told about both of my diagnosis. He’s a great leveller and his advice over the years, on numerous subjects, is something I actively seek, and tend not to ignore. Owen and Neil have also been there for us as a family throughout the last couple of years especially. Having mates that you know you can talk to about the most difficult of subjects is invaluable. The day out in Henley was just what I needed, with one vital element missing, a win for the Rams. From 24-10 up at half time we somehow managed to concede 18 unanswered points in the second half to lose. However, the light was wonderful so I got some cracking photos. The company was equally as good, and the beers flowed.

Sunday was a different day as far as the weather was concerned, it was damp, miserable and by the afternoon, bloody cold too. I was over at Reading RFC to take photo’s of the Rams Sirens, resplendent in their new kit. The match was marred somewhat by an injury to the Rams player Amy who broke her leg and dislocated her ankle early in the match, that will probably be her season over which is a real shame as she’s been a real driving force behind the success of the team. I only managed to get a few shots prior to her injury, including one cracker showing her determination. Once the team has moved pitches I packed my camera equipment away, I’d lost my appetite for photography for the day.

I had really been looking forward to the beginning of the season, for the last 14 years or so it’s been a highlight of the year. By Sunday evening I was totally done in. I’d pushed myself a bit too far with two consecutive days. I think getting soaked and cold on Sunday hadn’t helped matters either.

On Tuesday morning, we travelled up to Lincoln for Anna’s graduation, it was due to start early on Wednesday morning so it really needed an overnight stop as whilst Lincoln isn’t that far away (180 miles) it takes an age to get there. About an hour into the journey I realised I’d left my Lary tube back at home and it was a bit too late to turn around and get it. My throat was also playing up and I was having to clear out the stoma far too often on the journey. Not an easy task when you’re driving at 70mph on the motorway. Carol and I managed to sort a cleaning system out by the time we got to Lincoln, but it’s far from an ideal position to be in. Anna had sorted out the hotel booking and luckily had also provided a postcode for the car park at the back of the hotel, otherwise we’d probably have still been driving around Lincoln. Once we’d checked in I discovered I’d also forgotten to pack any extra base plates for the stoma and would have to manage on just two. This wasn’t clever at all and I was contemplating driving back home to get the Lary and additional plates. Carol was far more sensible and phoned Lincoln Hospital ENT Dept. who confirmed they’d be able to supply me with base plates if necessary. As well as booking the hotel Anna had also booked a restaurant for 12 of us for a meal on the Tuesday afternoon. Her boyfriend, Tom, was graduating that evening so his parents were down from Yorkshire and Lanzarote. This was the first time we’d met them and a couple of hours in a restaurant, drinking wine and scoffing food was probably a good introduction to the Clark family.  

Anna being Anna had produced an itinerary for our two day stay, it was to the minute. As she was disappearing with Tom at 5.30 to attend his ceremony she’s actually written part of the itinerary as 6pm > 10pm “Clark party to entertain themselves”. So, we did, we went out and had another meal with more bottles of wine.

The hotel we were staying in was lovely, a nice room with a MASSIVE bed which I think had separate postcodes for each side, and a lovely, well equipped bath room. It also came with it’s own resident ghost. Or at least that’s what I thought when I woke up at 3am. There was a strange snoring sound coming from the room. Now, Carol had been known to be a bit Snorey McSnoreface, especially when she’s had a glass of vino or three, but this wasn’t her snoring. I was beginning to get a bit concerned until I realised that Max had been added as a last minute addition to the party and the hotel had managed to fit a small camp bed into the room. 3am turned into 4am and Carol decided she’d join Max in the “Let’s keep Paul awake by snoring” game. Oh that was a fun night.

We needed to be at Lincoln Cathedral by 9am on Wednesday morning, despite the ceremony not starting until 10.30am, so it was an early rise and shine for us all. Luckily the hotel had agreed I could leave the car in their car park until 3pm that day, otherwise it would have been a game of hunt the car park space. Sleeping without my Lary tube in meant I was on the final base plate and my throat was playing up big time. The previous day I’d used 7 HME filters, I was already on filter number 3 before leaving the hotel in the morning.

The location for the graduation has got to be up there with some of the best in the country. The students met first in the grounds of the castle to get their robes on and then make their across to the cathedral for the actual ceremony. We were duly seated in the reserved places that Anna had kindly organised and awaited the start with baited breath. Well, in my case it was with rasping breath. I’m glad that Anna’s surname is the same as mine as it meant she was through the graduation quite quickly as it was done in alphabetical order. I managed to get probably 75% of the way through before I had to make my excuses and go outside to give my throat a damn good talking to! A quick cup of coffee, two changes of HME and I was outside the cathedral waiting for the ceremony to be completed. Eventually I was joined by the rest of our party, made our way back over to the grounds of the castle and took the obligatory “Throwing Mortar Boards” up in the air pictures. 

There was one final item on Anna’s (timed to perfection) itinerary to complete before we were allowed to breath on our own again. She’d booked a table in a rather nice Tapas bar for us to enjoy our padron peppers, paella et al. I’m incredibly proud of what Anna has achieved, especially in the last 18 months or so whilst I’ve been a bit ill. She’s managed to complete her degree, get a great job and move back to Gods Own County with Tom.

The long trip back home was not quite as unpleasant as the journey up, but by the time we were home I was totally knackered again, my throat was all over the place and I was feeling pretty darned pissed off with life, the universe and everything. My first job was to get the Lary back in place using a fairly large dollop of lube and a quick shove. It went back in ok thankfully, but I’ve got to make sure I don’t forget it again when I go away, it’s not like you can just pop down to Tesco and buy a new one.

I had arranged to meet my boss up in London on Friday to discuss my return to work. I choose London specifically rather than Graham coming to me in Reading. Typically the trains out of Tilehurst were delayed at the last minute and it was a rush across platforms to catch the fast train up to town. I wanted to see how I’d manage with the stoma on public transport, and within 10 minutes of sitting on the Paddington train I needed to remove the HME and clear out my throat. There were a couple of looks from fellow travellers, but nothing too drastic. On the subject of clearing my throat, I’ve mailed the CNS Nurses to see if over time the amount of clearing will reduce, but at the time of writing I’ve not had a reply from them, I’m hoping for good news as it’s becoming quite tiresome and a degree, embarrassing, having to make a bit of a spectacle of myself in public.

Graham and I had a good meeting. The plan is that I’ll return to work on Wednesday, but in a very controlled way. At the moment my access to company systems, including my work iPhone are all suspended. We suspect it’ll probably take a couple of days for full access to be updated, so for the first few days it’ll be a case of getting systems back in order and doing some specific paper based tasks before I let my suppliers and customers know that I’m back, I didn’t die and I only lost a few body parts along the way.

I will happily admit that I’m nervous about going back to work. The first internal meeting is going to be a challenge, the first external customer meeting will probably be a bigger hurdle. I’m darn sure I’m not the only person in the Banking industry who’s got a Lary, but I’m the only person I know in the Banking industry with one, so if I want to be nervous I bloody well will be 😊

Saturday has the promise of being an emotional day. The Berkshire Cancer Centre is going to benefit from a fund raising lunch at Rams as they take on London Irish Wild Geese in the first home match of the season. I’m indebted to Chris Hodgson and Barry Jackson from the club for suggesting the fundraiser and to the club for agreeing to it. A rather moving, to me anyway, piece was written on the club website about the event :

We are using this exciting first game to raise funds with Paul Clark, our club photographer, for the Berkshire Cancer Centre. Paul has maintained his valuable support for the club whilst fighting the disease. The Berkshire Cancer Centre is specifically raising funds for a new linear accelerator machine. Paul was zapped 30 times by one of these machines during his treatment. He said "There were times when treatment was delayed whilst repairs were carried out on one of the two existing machines. The last thing you want when you’re ill and undergoing treatment is delays. A new machine will help all those people who undergo radiotherapy on a daily basis. It will also help the wonderful staff. My initial treatment came in at around £15k or thereabouts. You can probably add on £100k at least to that total following my stay at Churchill Hospital."

I’m sure I’ll find the lunch emotional, anyone who’s read this blog for any length of time will understand how much Rams mean to the Clark family. The support and friendship mentioned at the start of his update emanated from the Rams relationship. It will continue.

As always, thanks for reading.

To be continued………

#Shoulder2Shoulder