Friday 1 September 2017

There’s a hole in my bucket………



This week has all been a bit of a challenge. We left Porthcothan early on Saturday morning and I drove the whole way back without a stop which was perhaps a bit daft, however once we got the Exeter the roads were very busy and the services rammed. I could just about walk by the time I switched off the engine in the driveway. The rest of the day and Sunday were spent recovering.

The next couple of paragraphs are perhaps not really suitable for reading if you’ve just eaten, or are about to sit down for a meal.

The valve in my throat which stops fluids or food from going into my lungs had started to leek a little bit whilst we were away, but only very slightly so I wasn’t too worried. They usually last somewhere between two and three months so I’m about in the middle of its lifespan.

On Monday Carol and I went into town with a view to buying her a belated birthday present and grabbing lunch whilst Max was at work. As usual we stopped off for a coffee when we got into town and that’s when things started to unravel. Whilst drinking my coffee it was apparent that the leak in the valve had got worse and the coffee was going straight down into my lungs, and coming back again at a rate of knots through violent coughing. My HME filter was coffee coloured when I replaced it which just went to confirm my suspicions that the valve was playing up. We tried to carry on our day as normal but I was forced to stop every few minutes to clear out the stoma, thankfully the discharge was now back to being clear rather than coffee tinged, but I was still in quite a bit of discomfort. In the end we gave up on the idea of having lunch and made tracks from home.

I struggled for the remainder of the afternoon with coughing an going through HME’s like they were going out of fashion. The SALT (Speech and Language Therapy) staff had given me instructions on what to do if the valve started to leak. So, I phoned the Dept. and left a message on the answer phone and emailed my contact in the Dept. in case my voice mail was difficult to understand. I’d been told that usually it would be possible to get valves replaced in 24 hours. I managed to compound my problems when I had a bath later in the day. I stupidly lay back in quite deep water and let some gush into my stoma, and then directly into my lungs. In effect that’s drowning! I coughed and coughed and coughed and coughed. It was really unpleasant and had the added bonus of blocking up my left nostril. Now for a normal person that isn’t a problem, but when you can’t actually blow your nose it’s horrible. I really struggled to sleep on Monday night as the blocked nose gave me a pounding headache on top of my sore throat from the coughing. I was a real bundle of joy!

I was slightly disappointed when on Tuesday morning I received a mail from the SALT team to say they were fully booked until Thursday and unless it was urgent I’d have to wait until then to be seen. I guess the combination of it starting on a weekend and the Bank Holiday had caused a perfect storm for me. I made another attempt to go into town on Tuesday morning, this time to get my hair cut. Again, I went for a coffee and again I coughed most of the first sip back up causing rather a mess to my Lions shirt. At this point I went back home and felt seriously pissed off with life, the universe and everything else. The rest of the day was spent listening to the West Indies making mugs of the England cricket team and trying to work out just when I was going to cough up a load of gunk so I could remove the HME and get a tissue out! Kleenex are going to make a fortune out of me over the next few years at his rate. I’d hoped to get up to OBR on Tuesday evening to finish off the head shots I’d started before we went to Cornwall, but decided that discretion was the better part of valour as I still couldn’t control the valve and any excess liquid going down into my lungs was causing real problems.

Wednesday was wet and miserable when I woke up, so I went back to sleep again. When I woke a bit later is was still wet and miserable but with added “Cold”, summer appears to be over again. Normally I’d out on a baseplate in the morning after I’ve had breakfast, as it makes talking much easier. But on Wednesday I couldn’t be bothered. I was having a grumpy, hunkering day and didn’t see the point in taking out the Lary tube when it was unlikely I’d be speaking to anyone during the day. A bit of writing, a bit of website work, and a whole lot of crap TV were the order of the day. Oh and using the best part of a large Kleenex box as the stoma was producing piles of rubbish to clear out. The leak is still there of there about but the weird thing is that it doesn’t leak every time I drink?

When I arrived at the hospital on Thursday morning I bumped into Jo, my original CNS Nurse. I’d not seen Jo for quite some time but she commented that I was looking much better in myself and sounding so much clearer in my voice. This is something that a lot of people have been saying. In my head the voice sounds like a high pitched cartoon voice, but I’d forgotten just how bad my old voice had become, never much more than a whisper at the best of times. I’ve also managed to gain a fair amount of weight in the last couple of weeks. I weighed myself on Monday and was 81kg’s, that’s the first time over 80kg’s for probably around a year. Those 34” waist jeans may yet still come into their own again.

The SALT team of Caroline and Susan were soon ready to test out my valve to see if it was leaking. It was quite a simple test really, a glass of water, food colouring, quick sip and a torch shined onto the valve. Yep, it leaked like a sieve straight down the middle. I’ve now met Caroline and Susan a couple of times and they are like a double act, in the nicest possible way. There’s an air of organised chaos to their meetings which I like. Not being able to get the suction machine to work correctly then banging a head on the overhead light, pure comedy gold. The actual procedure for changing the valve isn’t that complicated really. The old valve is simply pulled out, not overly painful. A plug is then put in to stop the hold contracting whilst the new valve is prepared. It’s then inserted in a gel covered condom (for want of a better description), the gel melts, the valve expands and hey presto, all good for a few more months hopefully.

Caroline had managed to get a couple more Hands Free systems for me to try out. The first one meant I could speak brilliantly without having to press the button, but I wasn’t able to breath out without speaking which was never going to work. The second one worked really well after a few practise attempts, other than the base plate was being blown out by the strength of the air. I was given the pack to test out at home and see how I got on, but being the idiot I am I left it in one of the hospital toilets whilst clearing out my throat before going home. Luckily, someone must have handed it back into the ENT Dept. as I received a call just after I’d got home that they’d got them there and Carol could pick them up for me. I’ll be trying them out in the next week to see if I can get on with them, hopefully no more putting my finger in the hole. 

I had a quick play with it on Friday afternoon - I promise this is the last video I'll post here > 


This is a fairly short update for the week, the leak meant I had to curtail any plans I really had. I did manage to get up to OBR on Thursday night to discuss some aspects of the website that I can assist with. It was great to see the club buzzing on the eve of the new season. In the 15 years or so that I’ve been involved with the club we’ve gone from Southern Counties strugglers all the way up to National 2, with ambitions to go higher. Gearing up to be in a higher league is vitally important. If a club was to settle for its lot in life it would easy to get complacent and drop down the pyramid again. The club may not make National 1 or Championship level, but having the ambition is to be admired. I really do love the beginning of September with all the dreams and aspirations that the teams in the club, from U6s up to the 1st XV, have. It also means that I get to put on my nw Mary Terrace Wrist Band that I’ve been wearing for the last four seasons. 



This weekend will be a busy one on the camera for me. I’m giving up my self imposed exile at Dry Leas to go and watch the Rams take on Henley RFC in what is being billed as the Battle of the Thames. I’ve had issues with Henley for a number of years, stemming all the way back to when Max was an U7. It relates more to one of the coaches that was in the age group all the way through to the Colts. Whilst I will be visiting the club, I don’t intend to put much money behind their bar, if you could ever get served! I’ll be catching the train from Tilehurst, changing at Twyford where hopefully I’ll meet up with some friends from the club. A couple of beers in Henley and then onto the ground. Take some shots and escape on the final whistle back to the pubs on Henley town. Max is off to Tadley RFC for the Mighty Cents first match of the season. Tadley are a really great community club, tough on the pitch, but fun off it.

Sunday will also be a day on the camera. The Colts are away at Reading RFC (A club I really enjoy visiting), and the new formed Ladies team, the Sirens are also at Reading for a friendly.
Next week will hopefully be my last week off work. I’ll be meeting my boss next Friday in London to discuss my staged return. I choose to go up to London as I want to see how I’ll get on travelling. However nothing is going to top what’s happening on Wednesday. We’ll be in Lincoln Cathedral to watch Anna graduating, it will be an incredibly proud day and I’m sure a few Dad tears will be shed. And what a location to hold a graduation ceremony. 


Anna moaned that she got bored of seeing the Red Arrows overhead when she was at Uni, how she could ever get bored of that sight I'll never know. I still miss Concorde going over every night at 7.l5. 


As always, thanks for reading.

To be continued…….


#Shoulder2Shoulder 

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