Friday 30 September 2016

Balloon Animals and another General
(Where’s Scary when you need her?)



30th September – The last days of summer.

Another regular monthly check up at the RBH fell due on Thursday. I’d hoped that it would be a quick in and out with just the camera up the nose and down the throat, however I was wrong as usual. An appointment scheduled at 3.40pm, eventually got into see Mr More Scary than Scary at 4.30pm, not a great start. This was the second time I’ve seen him, I know he’s the Head Honcho, but I’m struggling to warm to him I’m afraid. He’s very much business and little bed side manner and I don’t feel that I’m able to open up to him like I can if I’m seeing Scary. I had a couple of things I wanted to discuss, but felt hurried along. I’ll mail the CNS Nurses over the weekend, as at least they’ll respond. The camera up the nose and down the throat was the usual unpleasant experience, but at least it didn’t show up anything new to worry about, apart from the fact that my throat is continuing to contract. This is probably the reason behind my eating issues over the past few weeks and why I’ve dropped under 80kg’s again for the first time in ages. He’s offered a possible solution to this problem. In early November I’ll be having an Oesophageal Dilation done on my throat. Basically, I’ll be put under with another general anaesthetic. They will then insert a balloon into my throat and blow it up to stretch my oesophagus. This should have an immediate effect, albeit it may have to be redone every few months or so. I’m not sure how I feel about this if I’m honest. On one hand I want to be able to eat properly again without fear of throwing up (which is happening at the moment), on the other hand, I’ve had enough of operations for 2016 and really hoped that the scope up my bum was going to be the last one for a while. I will go ahead with procedure and I will ask if they can make a balloon giraffe for me to take home with me, I just don’t want to have to go through it every quarter. I know I’m being selfish, there are people in far worse places than me, indeed someone I’ve known for over 30 years is starting exactly the same procedures I went through last December, hopefully he’ll get the all clear, time will tell.

Thursday night wasn’t great, I felt very flat and quite down. A decent night’s sleep has helped my mood somewhat, as has reading a couple of messages basically telling me to get on with things. Sometimes the kick is what you need.

I ventured down to Nino’s on Friday morning, they’re raising funds for the Macmillan Coffee Morning, a subject close to my heart as know. I had a nice cup of coffee and bought four slices of delicious looking cake from young Nino, shame I can’t eat any of it, but I’m sure errant son will have my slice and the slice for his absent sister too.

The book is still selling slowly but surely, I’m up to close on 100 copies as I write. A few people have said they’re having problems downloading it. I think I over estimated how many folk actually have Kindles, but fear not, there is a free Kindle Ap. that can be downloaded here >> Kindle App so no excuses now chaps! Sales were boosted this week by the Reading Chronicle publishing the interview we’d had last week. A couple of nice messages were received via FB from folk I’ve never met who’ve read the article. 



Earlier in the week I was having a chat with one of the most committed (He should be) and enthusiastic people I’ve the pleasure to know. Between we’ve agreed that in the New Year we’ll come up with some impossible to ignore / refuse fund raising scheme, based upon my experiences, but involving far more people. I’ve got a horrible feeling that I’m going to get dragged into some hair brained idea which will involve major exercise on my part……………… however, I do need to get fit!! Watch this space for more details as the months go on, and have your wallets ready!

The weekend will probably be spent up at OBR. Rams are hosting Chinnor tomorrow (k/o at 2.30pm) for what should be a cracking match. Chinnor are flying at the moment and will be looking to revenge the two defeats last season to Rams, but we’ll be ready for them. Max will probably be playing for the Centaurs (3s) tomorrow, also at home, against Aylesbury. If the weather is dry I’ll be splitting my time with the camera between the 1st Team Pitch and the bottom pitch.

Finally, for this short update. You may recall me mentioning a friend who practises Witchcraft, she was instrumental in helping me when I was feeling very low back in January. Well, Cat is undertaking a massive challenge in walking the entire coast of the Isle of Wight in just two days, she’s bound to see pristine condition Austin Allegro’s on her way. Cat’s raising funds for Lupus UK, her story is here >> Cat's Story  I suffered from a very minor case of lupus when I was in my early 30s, it disappeared of its own accord luckily as there is no cure. I’m sure Cat would appreciate any support (ie MONEY) from anyone who feels able to give.

As always, thanks for reading. The blog has now had over 9,000 hits!

If you’ve bought the book please add a review, if you haven’t bought the book then get logged into your Amazon account!

To be continued……………


Friday 23 September 2016

What Happens Next?


23rd September

Well, the book is published, the Colonoscopy now completed, so in both cases it’s time to sit back and wait for the results.

I’m slightly disappointed by the book sales if I’m honest. To date it’s shifted just over 60 copies, raising somewhere in the region of £150. With the amount of shares, tweets, Facebook posts and emails I’d hoped to be closer to the 200 sales by now. I know how many people read this blog on a weekly basis. I know that a lot of friends have shared the link of their pages. I’ve had folk from work sharing the link via their email contacts. But the sales just aren’t coming. Maybe the price is putting people off, or perhaps it’s just come in with too few pages?

Yesterday I was interviewed by Reading Chronicle, hopefully they’ll publish some sort of link next week which may induce a new sales spike.

Also, if you have read the book, please review it honestly on Amazon, there’s only 7 reviews there at the moment. More reviews will probably mean more sales.

Last Monday it was back to RBH to see if I could have the colonoscopy completed this time. You may recall that last time it was halted about halfway up (!!!) due to a couple of reasons. I was pretty nervous again when I arrived, not helped by not being able to eat since 11.30am the previous day. Arriving in the waiting room to see the TV was showing a program called Jeremy Kyle’s Emergency Room being shown didn’t exactly help, neither did all the adverts which just appeared to be selling food products!   

I was eventually called into the operating room about 40 minutes late, to be greeted by not one, but two consultants who were scratching their heads and looking through my notes. Hmmmm….. that didn’t really fill me with confidence I’m afraid. I’m allergic to remifentanil which is the normal sedation used, so they were discussing alternatives. The consultant mentioned to me that they could use Pethidine, but they were concerned that I’d been pumped full of the stuff last time and it didn’t really help. Her idea was for me to use Gas and Air as an alternative and that they’d work as a team, with me, to get us through this. The last time I’d used Gas and Air was in an ambulance on the way from OBR to RBH back in March, it worked really well then as a pain relief, so taking a deep breath and a good suck on the mouthpiece I lay on my side and thought of England!

The next 40 minutes or so were a combination of discomfort, a bit of pain, but a whole lot of laughing! There were two nurses and two consultants carrying out the procedure. Between them they kept talking to and encouraging me. One would point out when we were coming to a difficult part and advise me to take a good glug of gas. Eventually, the scope seemed to be coming out of my throat so we knew the procedure was complete. The big difference this time compared to last was the interaction with the people in the room, last time it was very clinical with no real discussion with me. I’m glad it’s over and if I ever need another one I’ll opt for the Gas ‘n Air option. Two biopsy’s were taken for the errant lump, the results should be back within 14 days.

I’ve got my usual Clinic appointment with Scary (Or one of her minions) this coming Thursday, I’m hoping that the results will be available by then so we can put this little episode to one side and file it under “False Alarm”.

This weekend will be spent photographing the Rams 5’s as they’re the only team playing at home, and whichever Junior sides are at OBR on Sunday. The 1’s are away at Redruth, a long journey and difficult opponents. Max has a weekend off as the 3’s have no game. I believe they’re at home the following week, so I’ll get a chance to see him play properly for the first time this season. Hopefully the weather will stay kind, as I’m trying to continue to wear shorts until the end of September…………

As it’s been a whole two weeks since we got back from the Canaries I think it’s time to look at our next break. The current Mrs Clark is getting itchy feet. Perhaps a long weekend in France close to 11th November around the battlefields, or a weekend of debauchery in Amsterdam?

As always, thanks for reading. Please keep sharing the blog / book link.
To be continued……………



Friday 16 September 2016

#ShouldertoShoulder

(Something for the weekend?) 



As you already know, since December last year I’ve been having a bit of a battle with throat cancer, at the moment I’m 7-5 up with about 2 minutes of injury time left on the clock. When I started writing the blog of the battle, I was encouraged to also write a book of my experiences to give a wider insight.

Today the book has been published on Amazon - #ShouldertoShoulder

I’ve set the price at £3.77 ($5.00) and all proceeds raised from the sale of the book will be split equally between Macmillan Cancer Support, who gave me and continue to give me fantastic support, and The Berkshire Cancer Centre Fund who are raising funds to purchase a new linear accelerator machine which is used to deliver radiotherapy to cancer patients. I was zapped by one of these machines 30 times during my treatment. Sometimes there were delays whilst one of the two existing machines was down for maintenance. The last thing you want when you’re being treated is to sit around waiting beyond your appointment time, a new machine will help to elevate those delays.

I don’t expect to raise the £10,000 or so that my treatment cost, but every little helps as they say.

The book isn’t War and Peace and it’s unlikely to win the 2017 Booker Prize. It just tells the story of the past 9 months, with a lot back stories added in to give a flavour of my personality. Whether you’re interested or not, it would be great if you could buy the book as a charitable contribution. If you do read the book, I’d ask that you put a review up on Amazon when you’ve finished, be it good, bad or indifferent. The more reviews a book gets then the more likely it is that it’ll be picked up on reading lists, and more likely to raise a few more £’s. 

Oh, and if you could “Share” that you’ve read it, that would be appreciated. Equally, if you know of anyone else who may be interested in reading the book please feel free to send them the link.

As always, thanks for reading.

To be continued……………


#shouldertoshoulder

Monday 12 September 2016

Holidays in Eden


Update 12th September 2016
You know that saying, “It’s nice to go away, but great to come back”? Well that’s bollox, if I could I’d spend an awful lot more time lying on a beach drinking cocktails and talking to the children via Skype. After in effect our third holiday since the beginning of June its now back to the reality of work, rugby and of course the small matter of a rescheduled Colonoscopy to look forward to.
Fueteventura was a very relaxing break, I can certainly recommend the Barcelo group of hotels. Our room had a bed so big I swear it had separate post codes and a hot tub which according to Carol, took the time it took to drink a large G ‘n T for it to fill up. The hotel was adults only and asked gentlemen to wear long trousers when dining in the evenings. Now I’ve no real objection to that, but I do feel that some form of dress code should also have been stipulated for ladies. As much as I can appreciate a shapely bottom hanging out of a cut off pair of denim shorts, I’d really rather not look at one whilst I’m eating my tuna steak. The advantage of going half board I guess was that I could eat as much or as little as I wanted to. I’ve begun to struggle quite a lot with eating again. Carbs are a real challenge, so being able to pick exactly what I wanted to eat was probably a blessing. We did eat out a couple of nights, but I stuck to fish which as the moment still seems to be ok. It was also fairly amusing to see folk queuing up at the pool at 9am to stake out their towels on the sunbeds, people even ran to get the bed of their choice. We didn’t actually bother as we caught the free shuttle bus to the dunes each day, far more relaxing. 

As you’d probably expect if you’ve read this blog in the past, whilst at the hotel we “People Watched” and made up our own stories about the folk we saw day to day for a week. As well as Ms Arse Hanging Out of Her Shorts, we also had Wiggy and Bride of Frankenstein, a couple we presumed were from Russia. We saw them most mornings for breakfast, most days on the bus to the beach and most evenings in the restaurant. Not once did I see her smile, or even look at Wiggy. If she had smiled there could well have been a quick visit back to her Plastic Surgeon on her return to Moscow. Now Wiggy was a cross between the cool Mafia boss from Italian Job and Fabio Capello. However it was one of the most obvious syrups I’ve seen since I worked at Avco Trust. In Avco days we had a chap who had two wigs, a long one and a short one. He used to go out at lunch time and say he was going to the barbers, returned wearing the short version, it was priceless.
Corrallejo has changed quite a bit in the 30 odd years since we were last there, hardly a surprise I guess. The usual influx of restaurants and bars catering specifically for the British and German tourist have sprung up, but the area around the harbour seems to have stayed vaguely authentic. Whilst we were on half board as I mentioned, we did tend to disappear into town after we’d had dinner to escape the inevitable “Entertainment” put on by the hotel. I think we were quite lucky as we stumbled across a place called “Rock Island” down a quiet side street. The bar has various “Turns” in playing live acoustic rock music. Of the three combo’s we saw over our stay I can safely say they’d kick ass of any of the acts appearing on X Factor or the like. (Ok Paul Cooper, I know that when you’re pissed it’s easy to think all bands are good, but………………………….) Check out these guys on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watchv=5qq0NA9Xs9Q the bar was probably a bit more like a large front room, you had no choice but to sit with other people and chat to them during breaks in the music. I like that, as being in a hotel it’s easy to get suck into your own little world of judgement. On our last night, despite the best intentions of having a quiet one before travelling home, we ended up in Rock Island until about 1.30am knocking back vodka and tonics with a couple who we’d met as strangers three hours prior and left as life long friends! Can’t for the life of me remember their names though J Anyone recognise the one who isn’t the stalker? 

So our seven days were spent on the beach, in the Spa (Where very flattening swimming caps had to be worn), eating, drinking and listening to music. A perfect seven days. It all went a bit pear shaped on the way home, by being delayed for over three hours on the return flight. Little or no information was given out by Thomas Cook at the airport and as we were one of the last flights out that evening the airport cafes and shops were closing down. It wasn’t until we eventually boarded that the pilot advised the reason for the delay was due to a truck hitting the plane and the subsequent safety checks to make sure it was still ok to fly. Now that’s a perfectly good reason to delay the flight, a bit of communication wouldn’t have amiss however. Arriving back home at 5am in the morning after a 40 minute diversion on the M25 did put a little bit of a downer on what had been a great break. I’ve obviously sent a claim into Thomas Cook, by their reputation they’ll no doubt ignore the claim.
Whilst away I missed the start of the rugby season. Rams lost their first league match at home to a strong Taunton side, but bounced back last Saturday by defeating London Irish Wild Geese. Max played in two matches whilst we were away and managed to be on the winning team for both. Thanks to Catman I was kept up to date with the Centaurs match score whilst sitting quaffing a bottle of wine in the hotel bar waiting for the taxi back to the airport. After spending a week with just my iPhone camera and little compact it was good to get back up to OBR yesterday to get some shots of the Rams Colts in a season opener friendly against Wallingford.

Back to work tomorrow, I’ve resisted turning the work phone or laptop on today, I’ll be pleasantly surprised tomorrow when the “Ping” goes rapidly, once it’s charged up of course! I’m meeting my Editor tomorrow night, so with a fair wind, and not too many amendments I’m still hopeful of getting #shouldertoshoulder published by the end of this month. I’m also hoping that there won’t be any need to a follow up book following the Colonoscopy. My main task for the next couple of weeks will be to try and get rid of the tan on my face and neck before my next scheduled appointment with Scary, she’ll go ballistic as my neck got slightly burnt! I entirely blame……………….. ok, myself!
As ever, thanks for reading.
To be continued…………. At least for a couple more weeks!

#ShouldertoShoulder

Friday 2 September 2016

The Hunger Games


Brief Update – 

The NHS comes in for an awful lot of stick it would seem. However I’ve either been incredibly lucky to date, or we really do have a Health Service that is the envy of the world. When I saw Scary last week she said she didn’t think that I’d get seen for the forthcoming little Op. prior to Carol and I disappearing off on holiday again. Well, on Tuesday morning the phone rang at home and it was a rather friendly person from the Endoscopy Dept. at RBH asking me if I could come in for the Op. the following Tuesday. Now that’s what I call service, in fact they could have done the procedure earlier, but for various reasons I couldn’t. Carol picked up the “Magic Potions” that I’ll need to take on Monday prior to my visit. Helpfully, the instruction packet for the laxatives advise being close to a toilet when you take them! Who’d have guessed? I’m also not allowed to eat anything from 2pm on Monday through to when I have the operation, I’m only allowed clear liquids, not sure if that includes whisky or not, but certainly bins scrumpy I guess. I get the feeling that Bank Holiday Monday in the Clark household is going to be a barrel of laughs.

Thursday was Carol’s birthday. I made the schoolboy error of forgetting to phone Nino’s for a booking until Wednesday, by which time he was full. So off we trooped into Reading to join the great unwashed, luckily they weren’t all trying to eat out at the same restaurants as us! London Street Brassarie managed to fit the five of us without too much drama. Decent food, but let down a bit by slow service. We haven’t seen much of Errant Son this weekend as he’s been off to “Fest” with his latest squeeze, even though it’s probably only about two miles away as the crow flies they’ve been coming back each night to a decent bed and a warm shower.

On Saturday I managed to get to my first away match with Rams since last December. They played their final preseason friendly against Luctonians RFC from Leominster. My parents used to live about five miles from Leominster, but I’d forgotten how far away it was, spending over five hours in the car probably wasn’t the brightest idea I’ve had. The match was a typical disjointed preseason affair. I’d think that Rams were probably missing 10 players at least from the team that will start the league campaign next weekend at home to Taunton. There was a pleasant surprise at the end of the game as I went to confirm the scores with the ref. One of the assistant refs came up and said “Hello Paul, how are you?” Now I’m sure I’m not the only one who gets confused when they see people out of context to the normal circumstances you would meet them in. The AR was a chap I’d done a lot of business with in the past in my job, I hadn’t seen him for perhaps three years and I’m pretty sure I’ve only ever met him whilst he was wearing business attire. I knew Peter ref’d at a decent level, but I didn’t realise he’d been promoted up to Level 4 Rugby, so there’s a good chance he’ll be at one of the Rams games, either home or away this coming season. The photos from the game weren’t the best I’ve ever taken, but I’ll use the excuse that the light was all over the place in the first half, and in the second it started raining so the gear was shoved away for the day.

Next weekend is the opening proper of the season, Rams entertain Taunton at OBR and on Sunday the Mini’s and Junior’s get their seasons underway. This will be the first time for 12 seasons that I’ve missed the first weekend. Part of me is a bit pissed off, but a far bigger part is thinking of 30 degrees heat in the Canaries! I’ll also miss Max making his senior debut for the 3s away to Shire Hall, but there will be plenty of other chances. I believe he’s going to the Badger Bash after the match, so probably just as well we’re away as it’ll give him a week to a) Sober up and b) Redecorate if necessary.

Sunday was a day of getting things sorted for the holiday next weekend. As I’ll likely be out of action for much of Monday and Tuesday, possibly Wednesday too, I had to get into town early to sort out our Euro’s, a rate of Euro 1.15 at John Lewis was as good as it got, still bloody “Ouchy” compared to this time last year when I got close to Euro 1.45! It was vaguely amusing to see the “Great Unwashed” being washed as it was chucking it down sideways, and as always it seems I bumped into a regular at Artigiano’s!

I realise I haven’t posted a recipe for a while, and as I won’t be able to eat anything exciting on Monday it would seem like a good chance.

Thai Green Curry :
Prep Time : 15 minutes, depending on traffic.
Cooking time : 20 minutes.

This is a simple but tasty dish. Jump into your car, drive to Waitrose, avoid “The Great Unwashed” & Yummy Mummies, buy the prepared Waitrose Thai Green Curry. Pay, jump back in car, drive home. Heat oven to “Hot”, follow pack instructions, dish up, eat. An almost fool proof recipe. Enjoy, have this one on me! 

The time saved in buying a take-away meant I had enough spare time to build a play list ahead of the Colonoscopy on Tuesday, apologies for the toilet humour!

  • ·         Open up and say “Ahhhh” – Poison
  • ·         Shake a leg – AC/DC
  • ·         Movin’ Out – Aerosmith
  • ·         Dirty Back Road – B52s
  • ·         Burnin’ for you – Blue Oyster Cult
  • ·         Against the wind – Bob Seger
  • ·         Born to Run – Bruce Springsteen
  • ·         Under Pressure – David Bowie & Queen
  • ·         Tunnel of Love – Dire Straits
  • ·         If Dirt were Dollars – Don Henley
  • ·         Digging Deep – Fish
  • ·         Don’t Stop – Fleetwood Mac
  • ·         Loss of Control – Green Day
  • ·         Mr Brownstone – Guns ‘n Roses
  • ·         That Smell – Lynyrd Skynyrd
  • ·         Warm Wet Circles – Marillion
  • ·         For Crying out loud – Meatloaf
  • ·         Even Flow – Pearl Jam
  • ·         Stir it up – Tesla
  • ·         Let it roll – UFO


Monday was a fairly quiet Bank Holiday to begin with. I made up the magic movement potion, stuck it in the fridge and waited for the 6pm witching hour for the effect to take place. The stuff tasted god awful, but the first litre was drunk and it was then a case of waiting to see what happened………………. And whilst waiting I was kept amused by my Facebook friends ideas of humour.




Tuesday dawned, for me, at around 4am with my stomach advising me it was probably a good idea to get up and remove the Andrex from the fridge. I won’t go into details, but I wish I’d been given this potion when I was suffering so badly from constipation whilst I was going through Chemo and RT.
Arriving at the hospital I was incredibly nervous, not helped I guess by the fact that I hadn’t eaten since midday on Monday, not drank since 10am that morning and was generally feeling god awful. A 20 minute run through with a nurse eased my concerns to a degree, the procedure should be no more than uncomfortable and would be managed by pain relief. 30 minutes later, for a variety of reasons, not least being the extreme pain I was in the procedure was stopped roughly ½ way through. This means I’ll have to go through all the build up again when we get back from holiday and I’ll be seen by a Senior Consultant rather than a Junior Registrar. So it was home for a much needed dinner and early night. I started the day feeling nervous, I ended the day feeling frustrated. I’d really hoped that today would be the last time I’d have to undergo any procedures at the hospital for a while. To realise I’ve got to go through it all again is a bit crushing.
Wednesday was my last working day until 13th September, there’s something quite satisfying about setting the Out of Office and turning off your work phone. When I’m back it’ll be a real case of back to the coal face, working full time for the first time since December of last year, missing out on afternoon naps (Although I may sneak in the odd 40 winks), being full on back on the treadmill. You may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned the fact that I may need more treatment for the stomach lump and that is because I’ve decided I won’t need treatment, it’ll be a false alarm and nothing to worry about.
Thursday was the day of the National Rugby Awards up at Twickenham. Carol and I travelled up by train and checked into the Twickenham Travelodge (ever the romantic), it was a long day and I was a bit concerned about being totally cream crackered when it finished and having to drive back home again. The afternoon VIP Reception was fun, albeit a bit drawn out. I got to meet the other nominees in the Volunteer category, truthfully any one of us would have been worthy winners of the award. The others all came from what I’d class as Junior clubs, all level 7 and below, or didn’t have Senior sections. The tour of Twickenham stadium was interesting, the home changing rooms are out of this world and need to be seen to be believed. It was then on to the pitch side drinks reception before heading into the function room to meet the other Rams and settle down for dinner and the awards. 

Rams were also up for an award for the Facility Development of the Year, but missed out to Whitley Bay Rockliff RFC, again a much smaller club than ours. By the time it got to the Volunteer award I’ll admit I was pretty nervous. I wasn’t aware that the winners were going to be interviewed on the stage by some bloke from Sky Sports. My voice was pretty shot at this point, down mainly to having been in air conditioned rooms for most of the day. I needn’t have worried, as the winner was Simon Ursell from Tetbury RFC. I’d chatted to Simon quite a lot in the afternoon, he was a genuine chap who really deserved the award. His club have one Senior Men’s team, some Juniors and a full section of Mini’s. They also survive despite having only one pitch to play on. A true grass roots club by the sound of things. It’s easy to say with hindsight that it’s an honour just to have been nominated, but truly that is the case. There are something like 100,000 club volunteers around the country, to be on a shortlist of 6 is a pretty good result. I’d love to see what the nomination actually said…………… As you would imagine, with 750 people at the dinner, all of them associated in one form or another with rugby the evening started to get a bit lively. So Carol and I took our leave and walked slowly back to our hotel having enjoyed the day immensely. (Carol even got to sit in the Presidents seat in the Royal Box, the first female president of the RFU perhaps?)
I was hoping that I’d have the book #shouldertoshoulder ready for publishing by now, but it looks like it’s going to be delayed now until probably the end of September. Good things are worth waiting for, and so are mediocre ramblings I’m led to believe.

That is for now folks, we’re off to sunny Fuerteventura tomorrow for a week of tan topping, wine guzzling, meat eating, relaxation! And we won't be worrying about the appointment on 19th September, anyway the doctors will probably be on strike! 
As always, thanks for reading.
To be continued (for a little while longer)……………….

#shouldertoshoulder

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