There can be only one…… The Kurgan#LifeWithCancer
If
you use Social Media, and as you’re reading this I guess you do, I hope you’ll
have seen the hashtag #LifeWithCancer this week. It’s the new campaign launched
on Tuesday by Macmillan. The aim of the campaign is to highlight everyday
“wins” where having cancer doesn’t matter, it’s a case of “still living my
life” and not letting cancer win. I’ve posted on Instagram and Twitter this
week using the #LifeWithCancer tag – the shots below were my choices, along
with the reason for choosing them –
Tues
30th
-
Cycling at dawn on holiday to see the sunrise and get
a coffee. #LifeWithCancer is still life.
Wed
1st
-
Playing rugby with Max on Boxing Day (It hurt!).
#LifeWithCancer is still life.
Thur
2nd
-
Taking photos of the Rams. #LifeWithCancer is still
life.
Fri
3rd
-
Spending time with my family. #LifeWithCancer is still
life.
Some
of the posts I’ve seen from other taggers have been truly inspirational. Each
of us seem to have our own way of just carrying on. A few more people followed
on Twitter and a few more being followed. It’s easy to drift off into the “It’s
only me” thought, seeing others who are going through the same, or worse helps
focus the mind somewhat. I was asked by the person I've been in contact with at Macmillan if I'd become involved in this latest campaign before I knew the bastard was back. But perhaps it's more relevant now that I'm fighting again, than when I was in remission.
Macmillan Video This is one of the video’s from the Macmillan site, it
isn’t easy watching and I’ll happily admit that I shed a couple of tears whilst
watching it on Tuesday morning.
One
of the activities I try to continue to do, regardless of cancer is taking
photos, it really is a passion of mine. So on Sunday I traveled down to
Bournemouth for the annual 7s Festival. The Badgers were playing at the
Festival, a lot of their players come from Rams and Max has had a couple of
runs outs with them, he couldn’t make this one as he was working. Bournemouth
is a pretty crap place to get to on a Bank Holiday weekend if the weather is
half decent. So I left home at 6.30am, stopped for a coffee at the Motorway
services and was parked up at the festival site by 8.30am. There were some “interesting” sights as I wandered around
trying to find the Badgers. Folk had been camping on site since Friday evening,
and I suspect one or two alcoholic beverages may have been partaken by a few of
them. I eventually located the Badger boys and we headed off for the first pool
match kicking off at 10am. A 19-19 draw was the result and already I started to
feel a bit rough. I’ve not been sleeping well of late due to the tumour pushing
against my throat and making any saliva go down the wrong way and waking me up
coughing heavily. By the time the second match kicked off at lunchtime my
throat was also becoming increasingly sore. So after shooting the match I
decided, reluctantly, that I’d be better off getting away and home before it
got any worse. It’s a shame I felt I had to leave as the boys went on to win
the cup with some sparkling rugby so I’ve been told. The photos I took were
“Ok”, but by no means the best I’ve shot this year, however they seem to have
been well received with over 4,500 hits to date on my S2S page S2S Photography . A couple of hours sleep
when I got home seemed to help, but by the time it came to go to bed I needed a
large slug of my mate morphine to manage the pain.
This is quite worrying for
me. When I had my original diagnoses back in 2015 I didn’t feel ill until the
effects of the RT took hold. This time I’m feeling pretty rough before any
treatment has occurred and with at least another 4 weeks to go until surgery I
really don’t want to have to rely on morphine so heavily. Whilst it helps with
the pain, it can have side effects, such as fatigue, constipation, and mood
swings. Perhaps this time I need to listen to my body a bit more and realise
that I’m not going to be able to do all that I want to do. If I need sleep then
I’m going to have sleep, be it in the middle of the day, or early in the
evening, sleep is your friend.
Bank
Holiday Monday was a bit of a washout. A quick trip into town to buy a shaving
mirror and a small torch were the highlights. They’ll both be needed so that I
can see to clean the stoma properly once it’s in place, sounds so romantic, but
the hospital won’t discharge me until they’re sure I’m able to look after the
wound myself.
The
rather fetching picture at the top of this post is of The Kurgan. He was a
character from the film Highlander, which is one of my all-time favourites.
You’ll note that he’s got a scar from one ear to the other, apparently that is
roughly what I’ll have once I wake up from surgery. As well as my voice box
being removed, they’ll also relieve me of my lymph nodes to help to stop the
spread of cancer. Apparently you don’t really need them, so I won’t miss them,
but to remove them they need to create the scar to end all scars. My next fancy
dress outfit is sorted I suspect.
I
was first introduced to Highlander by a good friend of mine called Tony Hodson.
Tony and I first met when we both worked at Lloyds Bank in Bracknell when we
were still teenagers. We had a mutual love of rock music, specifically Queen,
and as they produced the soundtrack to the film it was natural that there would
be some sort of mutual liking. Tony was a massive Queen fan and somehow or
other got invited to be part of the filming for Radio GaGa. When he called me
to ask if I fancied going along to I jumped at the chance, even though it was
on a Tuesday at Shepperton Studios in London. We both developed very heavy
colds that day and threw “sickies” from work. It was one heck of a long day,
arriving around 7am and filming not finishing until around 7pm. We were part of
the clapping crowd, complete with white plastic suits, which I’ve still got
somewhere. The highlight of the day for me was when Freddie came over as said
“Dahling, could you possibly spare a cigarette for me? I’m gasping.”
After
I left Lloyds Tony was one of the first person I recommended at my new job,
Security Pacific, his career took off from there with him moving up to
Birmingham for a role. My first ever visit to a hospital in Oxford was also
Tony’s fault. He had a rather nasty car accident on a commute back from Brum to
Reading, and was in John Radcliffe for a couple of weeks. Carol and I had been
away, but we managed to get over to see him one day when we got back, he seemed
well on his way to recovery. He died three days later, and we all still miss
him. For a number of years following Tony’s death a group of us would meet in
The Eldon Arms, our old stomping ground, for the Gathering, another nod in the direction of Highlander.
Unfortunately, like most of these sort of things, it fizzled out after about 15
years as the group moved away from the area and families arrived to make
meeting up more of a challenge.
Anna’s
made a guest appearance back home for 10 days before she disappears off to her
new life up in Leeds. We’re all very proud of what she’s achieved at Uni, and
to land a graduate job so quickly is a real bonus. She’s bought herself a
rather snazzy little Citroen C3, the downside being it only had an FM radio, so
a quick trip to Halfords where the bank of Mum and Dad have ensured she can
listen to DAB on her journeys.
The
week has been a bit flat overall. I’ve managed to pick up a severe case of Man
Flu which has resulted in an incredibly sore throat through coughing heavily, I
suppose one upside of the operation is that in future all the gunk will come
out of my stoma rather than my nose, I’ll save a fortune on handkerchiefs! I’ve
heard nothing official from the hospital this week, other than a slightly
surreal call to say my Pre-Op assessment will be next Friday at midday, nothing
in writing yet though. The waiting is going to be hard, when I initially
thought it was going to be two weeks that gave me little time to think, which
in my case is good. Sleeping, as I’ve already said, is difficult. If I’m lying
awake at night it’s so easy for the brain to start working overtime. The “What
if’s?”, “How will we cope?”, “What happens if it comes back?” etc, etc……… I
reckon over the next few weeks I’ll have gone through every possible scenario
in my head. I just want it done and over with, that way we can plan the rest of
our lives. As I said in the title life with Cancer is still life.
As
always, thanks for reading.
To
be continued……
#LifeWithCancer
is still life
#Shoulder2Shoulder
Love you mate
ReplyDeleteLove you mate
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