The Right To Reply

The Cats Eye View

#doingitforDani

After passing over my blog to Neville the dog last week I was told in no uncertain terms by a couple of people that Nev had made a scurrilous slur on the Senior Pet in the house, Penny the cat. So it only seemed fair to allow Penny to give her side of the story.

I read Nevilles blog update last week with a combination of anger and disgust, so I’m grateful to my Servants for allowing me the right to reply to the mutt. Let me take you back a while, it was roughly four years ago that the Servants decided to wait on my every whim and to save me from going through life called Tallulah. My new name came after the Servants decided to name me after the first try scorer in a rugby match, it was a Penalty Try, hence the name Penny. It could have be a lot worse Joe Duffellen could have scored, who’d want to go through life being called Duffers?

The first four years or so were pretty good. The Servants didn’t take long to become accustomed to my needs. They learnt that I like my food by 8am in the morning, and 4pm in the afternoon. I also need my “hit” of Cat Treats by 1pm at the latest, otherwise I’ll bring a mouse in and drop it down the male Servants throat hole 😊

The most exciting thing to happen to me was when the sodding Badger attacked me and bit my leg so badly I had to go to the vets, I don’t really like the vets as the tables there are steel and cold on my bottom. As a cat I like to be warm, all the time. Then our next door neighbours took on a Bengal cat called Benji, why anyone would want to take on a mini tiger is beyond me, he’s a vicious sod, we’re not friends.

My life revolved around sleeping, eating, going outside and choosing which Servant I’d sit on in the evening. Then, without warning, or without consulting me, my house began to change. First, the room the Servant 1 used to work in changed, with the introduction of a large torture chamber, and he moved his seating area around, much closer to my door. Then, one Sunday afternoon, just before they were due to put my indoor toilet up for the year (That’s not an indoor toilet, it’s a Christmas tree you chump – Servant 1) they arrived home with a bundle of fur carried in by Servant 2. Ah, I thought, they’ve brought me a present. The “Present” took one look in my direction, barked loudly and made a B Line in my direction, teeth bared. I did think about whacking him around the head with my claws out to show him who’s the boss of the house, but decided I’d let him settle in a bit first, then smack him when he least expected it. I now wish I’d taught him the lesson the first chance I’d got.

I decided that I’d retreat to the warmth of the Servants boudoir for a couple of days and only venture downstairs when I knew the mutt was either in his chamber or being dragged out of the house tied to a rope (Stupid thing probably didn’t know how to get back home by himself, unlike us clever cats).

Things haven’t really settled down that well, however I think I’ve got the best of the deal in that I get to spend all day upstairs on the Seniors Servants bed, then my food is served to me in the Absent Servants room. If I want to go outside I just give a quick knock at the lounge door and a Servant comes to open the front door for me. Once the mutt has been put into his cage for the night I’ve got the run of the house as usual. In fact one of my favourite games to play is to run my paws along the bars of his cage whilst he’s asleep and I’m off out for my nightly patrols. It really winds the mutt up, I can still hear him barking when I’m three gardens away, such fun J

It would seem that the Servants are quite keen on the mutt, they’ve taken it for special lessons on how to behave, which he appears to be ignoring from what I can see, he’s even got his own coats to wear when he’s taken out on his rope, what a WUSS! I’d just tell it to “Man the F**k Up” if I could get close enough. I did wonder if I’d done something to upset the Servants, so being the good cat that I am I’ve decided to start bringing presents in for them the past few nights, they don’t seem too keen on the mice, so perhaps I’ll change to birds once it gets a bit warmer, I’ve seen Snr Servants cooking birds so perhaps they’ll appreciate them more.

I’ve heard that the mutt is off to the “Doggy Dentist” in a couple of weeks for a scrape and polish to his manly bits, and that after this has been done he should perhaps become a bit calmer and not try to shag everything that moves, maybe that’s why he’s chasing me? Anyway, once he’s back and the Cone of Shame is removed we’ll settle down and have a chat one evening whilst he’s in his cage and I’m safely on the other side of the bars. I’ll persuade him that by working together on the Servants / Assistants we can both benefit. I mean what would be more fun than one of us sitting on each of them and refusing to move? I can use my claws as crampons, the mutt can use his bulk J

Until that day arrives, in words from my favourite film ……. “There can be only one” and it won’t be you mutt!!

PS – Thanks to Mike B. for suggesting to the Servants that I should have the right to reply.

Penny – 

Regular readers will be pleased to know that we have no more pets in Clark Acres to hand the blog over to. So normal services should resume in the next few weeks.

It’s been quite a busy week in relation to ongoing treatments. On Monday I spent the morning at Royal Berkshire Hospital being fed barium laced produce whilst standing on an x-ray machine. The purpose of this was to see how my throat reacts when I swallow and to see if there is any reason I’ve been going through valves so quickly. The long and the short is that there’s no real reason that was evident from all the x-rays other than there is a pronounced “Dip” in the area where the valve sits which could be collecting food and drink debris and thus effecting the way the valves operates, other than that everything seemed hunky dory. It was quite fascinating to watch the x-ray film afterwards and to see the way my new throat reacts to the swallow process. Wednesday was my first appointment with the Reflexologist, I’d actually forgotten what I was seeing her for, luckily she reminded me that it was to assist with sleeping, before I had a chance to put my foot in it. I’m quite sceptical about any sort of complimentary medicine but thought I’ve nothing to lose. She explained that after the first session I should sleep well for one night, two nights after the second session etc. It was a very relaxing experience after I’d got over the initial “It tickles” stage and I think I drifted off to sleep at one point. Going to bed that night I was really looking forward to my first full night’s sleep for some considerable time…………..

…………… I woke up at 1am in a considerable amount of discomfort, coughing and struggling to breath. The rest of the night was spent either propped up on pillows or coughing into tissues. It would seem that yet another chest infection has decided to come and visit me. The valve has been leaking slightly over the past week, but not enough to justify having it changed. The onset of the chest infection means I’ll have to have it changed as soon as the SALT Team can see me. The plans for the weekend are now on hold as the forecast is for the Artic blast to come back and visit us. I’m due to take photos of the Reading Half Marathon on Sunday, as a number of the Redingensians Sirens are running on behalf of the RFU Injured Players Foundation, if you’ve the odd £ you’d like to donate then here’s the link - https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/sirensdoingitfordani If the weather is as cold as forecast then I don’t think I’ll be out, minus degrees + a chest infection = a good chance of a night in the RBH.

Next week it's back for another session of reflexology, my first visit to the physio and the follow up appointment with the Lymphoedema clinic, as well, hopefully, the replacement of Leaky McLeakface. Looks like I'll be getting my moneys worth from the NHS. 

That’s it for this week, the blog may take a couple of weeks off unless anything exciting happens.

As always, thanks for reading.

To be continued………..

#Shoulder2Shoulder