You Spin Me Round.

The work laptop is switched off, out of office is switched on. The work phone is also switched off for the next ten days. I’m publishing this blog a couple of nights before Carol and I get up way before the Sparrow cracks his first fart, to make our way to Gatwick Airport and our early morning flight to Fuerteventura. Hopefully a week of sun, sand, cycling, vat loads of gin, the odd rioja and a pile of tapas awaits. We both need this holiday. In the last two plus years Carol has put up with a whole shed load of crap, I’ve rarely seen her cry, she’s been stoic to the extreme. This holiday will be about pampering her, supplying her with drinks on demand and sending her to the spa each afternoon. It’s roughly 1 year ago that I was told that cancer was back and that the only option was to cut out my throat. I can still speak and I’m still learning that every day will bring a challenge. It hasn’t been easy for any of us. There are times when trying to speak is just too much effort, so I stay quiet. There has been the challenges of valves leaking like sieves which have made me feel very depressed. I’ve learnt that taking my HME out, and blowing a large amount of gunk into a tissue may not be pleasant, but it is necessary. I’ve learnt to ignore the stares on the train, in the café, walking around town.

I’m still alive.

Not a huge amount has happened since my last update which I guess is good. Rams finished their season in third place, their highest ever league position. Their final match was against local rivals Henley RFC, a side that have featured in this blog in the past. Henley titled the game as the Battle of the Thames. No idea why as they were languishing down in ninth place in the league. A comprehensive 51-0 victory to the Rams followed, and frankly Henley were lucky to get 0. Rams scored two of the best tries I’ve witnessed in the 15 years or so of watching the 1^st XV, Conor and Scuba proving that we’re not just a lumpy forwards pack. This try was voted as National League Rugby try of the week  Try of the season!   

The Mighty Cents finished on a high with four wins out of their last four matches, the first time they’ve done that. Bernie and Rob will be missed next season, but as you’d expect with a club like Rams, their replacements are in place and raring to go. Max was welcomed into the Cents family two seasons ago, and has developed well as a player and young man under the team’s tutorage. Next season he’ll be off at Uni in Portsmouth, however I reckon he’ll be looking up the train timetables to see if he can get back for a few of the Cents matches if needed. 

The wonderful, mad, talented and un-shockable Sirens managed to complete their Half Marathon challenge on the final day of the season. Snow had forced the cancellation of the Reading Half Marathon when the ladies were going to be running to raise funds for the RFU Injured Player Foundation in support of their team mate Dani #DoingitforDani – They decided to run their own half marathon, leaving Old Bath Road at 11am, running the 21km distance, and finishing up back at OBR in time for the 1^st XV kick off. (Any rumours that they actually ran to the local pub, drank cocktails for two hours and then staggered back to the club are apparently false). (Any rumours that Amy Parsons broke her self inflicted booze ban after the run was finished and got wasted are apparently true) What they didn’t know was that Dani would be at OBR, STANDING to cheer them in as they finished. There was not a dry eye in the house, the following photo was taken with tears rolling down my cheeks whilst I tried to focus and hit the shutter release.

I was lucky enough to be asked to photograph the Rams Mini’s End of Season Presentations. The age groups were joined by England player, Natasha “Mo” Hunt who handed out the trophies to the Player of the Year and the Club Person of the Year. It’s always a great day to see all the smiling faces of the players and parents, and the smiling faces of the coaches and managers who know they’ve got a few months off before the mayhem starts again. Probably the biggest smiles are reserved for the wives and husbands of the managers and coaches who believe they may know get their partners back on a Sunday, and that perhaps that shelf may be put up……………. They’ll learn J 

Mark Pett-Ridge has done an amazing job running the Mini section at the club for the past few years, it was entirely fitting that his son Theo won the Hayden Jones Shield. I also think this was the first season that the girls rugby at Rams had been celebrated at the end of season bash, how appropriate that the players had someone they could really look up to presenting their trophies. 

Health wise things are still on an upward curve. I have bad days, but they’re outweighed by the good ones. The massages on my neck have helped immensely with the lumps, the downside is that the lumps were hiding the scars which are now more visible and far more tender. We’re working on that. The Physio has seen amazing results. In the four weeks since I’d last seen Sian I’d been working hard on the exercises she’d given me. Lateral movement increased from 80 degrees to 130 degrees. Frontal movement from 90 degrees to 130 degrees. There’s still a long way to go, but Sian is happy with my progress and a new set of exercises has been diagnosed for my pain and pleasure. The latest ones involve large rubber bands…….. what could possibly go wrong? I enjoy my meeting with Sian, it doesn’t feel like I’m seeing a health care professional, it’s more like having a chat with a friend. It takes me back to the original days when we were meeting CNS Jo on a weekly basis. We were discussing my voice at the last meeting and I commented that whilst I’m eternally grateful to still have a voice I’m very aware that I now sound like a cross between Daffy Duck and Darth Vader. I’d been on a call to a solicitor for my day job the morning I saw Sian and he kept commenting on how strange my voice sounded. It knocked my confidence quite badly for the rest of the week when I had to speak to people on a professional level, Sian understood entirely and instead of trying to placate me she stated the bleeding obvious, which was exactly what I needed. Would I rather have no voice at all?

Just over a week ago I had my valve changed again. It was only leaking slightly, but as it was 2mm bigger than the normal one it was spinning around like Linda Blair’s head when I was cleaning it. This also meant that I was producing more mucus than normal (sorry if you’re eating) and thus having to clean the valve more often, a vicious circle. The last thing I wanted whilst being abroad was to have to visit a hospital and try to explain what was going on. (Despite downloading an idiots guide to being a Lary translated into Spanish). It was quite an interesting session with the SALT Team. I’d been asked beforehand if I’d agree to having the process photographed for use in the training of A&E staff who very rarely see a Lary. Normally I hate being on the other side of the lens, but as this wouldn’t involve my face and was for a good cause I agreed, I even waived my usual modelling fee as a gesture of goodwill. The room the procedure was carried out in was quite crowded, as well as Caroline (SALT) there was a new SALT who’s name I didn’t catch and who’d never seen a valve change before. Then there was the medical photographer who looked quite shocked when I removed the base place and HME to reveal a raw hole in my neck. The procedure took quite a bit longer than normal due to me having to pose for various shots. Valve in, valve out, dilator in, new valve in, base plate on, base plate on with HME in. Now I know how those Vogue models feel after a shoot. I was due to attend the monthly Lary Club meeting after the valve change, but it was running late and I really needed to get home to do some work.

Whilst we’re away we’re leaving Neville in the capable hands of Max. It will be interesting to see who is the most pleased to see us return, my money is on Neville. As well as the usual #Stalker posts from our trip I’ll be posting updates from Mr Fox No.19 who’ll be joining us. It’s about time he was formally named so we thought that by taking him away for a week, without the distraction of Neville, we’d get a good chance to get to know him and come up with a suitable name. The shortlist at the moment consists of Jimi Hendricks, Gordon Moron, or Pinkman (I’ve been re-watching Breaking Bad), all three have a certain Gin connection and as I’d imagine #Stalker will be trying to drink her own body weight of the stuff before we land back at Gatwick, it might be an appropriate connection. 

Whilst I’m talking about body weight I think I’m going to have to think about looking closely at mine when we get back from holiday. I’m now tipping the scales at 87kg (13.7 stone in old money). This is probably the heaviest I’ve been since my original diagnosis in December 2015. After I’d got the “All clear” in May 2016 I bought a new suit, I had to travel up to London this week on business and putting the suit on this morning involved a bit of breathing in. I’m now up to 34” waist again, and back in my old Levi’s 501s, but perhaps breakfast of porridge, mid-morning snack, lunch of a pie, afternoon snack and then dinner may need to be curtailed unless I’m planning of hitting a 36” waist by July! The trip up to London that coincided with my realisation that I’m getting porkier went ok. I’ve found that in the morning my stoma is a bit on the “fluid” side, so a packed train and tube aren’t that much fun, especially for the poor folk sat next to me. But by mid-morning it’s usually settled down and I managed to go through a four hour meeting without having to clear out, or disappear to the loo for a blow. I was with two colleagues running through a new IT system at our Head Office in Triton Square, near Euston station. Meeting rooms are at a real premium, so we congregated around a table in an area known at The Street, not open to the public, but very busy with fellow employees walking around getting lunch or a coffee. I was doing the majority of the talking as it was my Laptop we were using for the testing. My two colleagues are used to my voice, or lack of it by now, but I was conscious of getting a few strange looks from people sat around us or walking past when I was ranting that the sodding thing was working as it should!! (The IT Test, not my valve for a change!). I was quite surprised that I didn’t get upset about being stared at, but I think that as I was in a professional situation, where I was confident, it didn’t bother me.

The train journey home was fairly painless for a change. Max met me at the station and Nev bounced around the house like a mini Tigger when I got home, apparently he’d been going into my office all day trying to work out where I was.

Neville’s getting on quite well with being a puppy, he’s learning every day and becoming much more of a personality. He’s even stopped chasing Penny the cat around, however she still wants to give him a smack on the nose every time he gets anywhere near her. His lead walking now is pretty good, not pulling too much. It’s just when he’s walking slightly behind me and stops without warning to sniff something. At that point my shoulder exercises are tested to the full. We’re slowly but surely increasing the lengths of his walks, and the variety of places he goes to. I suspect now that the rugby season is over that weekend walks could well be planned around a pub to stop at as a halfway house.

I’ll probably do some sort of blog update once we’re back from holiday, if nothing else there will be #Stalker pics to post. Then I think that the writing may go on the back burner for a while. I was checking out some facts on the blog a couple of days ago. To date it’s had somewhere just shy of 94,000 hits, been read in 32 different countries, and has just under 160,000 words. Not bad for something I thought might last four or five months at the most.

As always, thanks for reading.

To be continued……………?

#Shoulder2Shoulder

This is what I’m hoping to be doing for the next few mornings whilst Snorey McSnoreface has her beauty sleep