No Morphine Required? (Ok, just a bit………)

I’ve set myself a target of getting off morphine by the time I see Scary Surgeon again on 23^rd March. I’ll still take it if I’m in pain, but I really want to be drug free as soon as possible. So I thought I’d keep track of how much I’m actually taking starting from Saturday :

Saturday              10ml Morphine.

Sunday                 7.5ml Morphine.

Monday               5ml Morphine.

Tuesday               5ml Morphine (Needed in the evening).

Wednesday        5ml Morphine (Needed mid-afternoon for stomach cramps!).

Thursday             Nil J (Ok, I’ll admit it, I was tired & forgot to take any before going to bed.

Friday                    Nil (At the time of publishing, 5pm).

Week 9

Saturday 12^th & Sunday 13^th

The last couple of weekends had been either spent in hospital or sleeping, I was determined not to waste what turned out to be a lovely weekend weather wise. I made a trip up to OBR on Saturday to catch some of the Horde’s match & take some photo’s.

Then back & ate about 1/3^rd of a Ribeye steak, that’s my first red meat for around 6 weeks. It was a struggle & I couldn’t taste it, but that’s still progress as far as I’m concerned.

On Sunday the Colts were playing over at Marlow, Max got the whole game & played “Heads Up” rugby for a change, a good 15-26 victory for Rams in one of their better performances. I was pretty tired when I got home & stupidly cooked roasted lamb, it would have been ok if I hadn’t tried to have gravy with mine, but that reacted badly with my throat, hence the need for 7.5ml of morphine L a large glass of milk & a Ensure Protein drink, not the dinner I was hoping for.

I’m starting to think more & more about food & even dreaming up menus for when (if??) the taste buds return. The food I’m really missing? Lasagne, Thai Fish Stew, Shepherds Pie, Spag Bol, Toad in the Hole, Chorizo, Cheese on toast, anything with spice in it……………. Like an idiot I googled “When do taste buds return after RT”, so many different answers & no real idea. Surprisingly, considering my previous lifestyle, I’m not really missing beer or wine as much as food.

I’ve loads of questions for Jo when she calls on Tuesday & they’re all positive questions, When’s? How’s? What’s? Hopefully the answers will be positive too. The one about taste buds will be top of the list.

Monday 14^th > Friday 18^th

Monday was my first day by myself for a few weeks as Carol has gone back to work now that I’m hopefully over the worst of the symptoms. I was pretty darn lonely to be honest, I’m going to have to find something to do other than just watching the TV all day. I did some paper work & sorted through some photo’s that a friend wants, 

but not talking to anyone from getting up at 8am until Carol came home at 4pm was a bit of a struggle. A positive from the day was I finally got round to filling out new Passport applications, ours run out in May, next step will be to get hold of Ioanna in Corfu & book our break.  

14^th March, as well as being Steak & BJ Day (some hope of either!) marks the 33^rd anniversary of the release of one of my favourite albums of all time “Script for a Jesters Tear” by Marillion, now that really makes me feel old J

Tuesday wasn’t a great day. I went to bed on Monday feeling pretty down & woke up feeling much worse. My stomach was all over the place & my bones ached like heck. The day was spent largely on the sofa under a duvet feeling pretty sorry for myself. Jo called in the afternoon, she advised that even though I may think I’ve turned the corner I’m still going to have days where I’m feeling pretty rough, especially if I’d overdone things a tad at the weekend. Slight slapped wrists there for me I think. She reiterated that the more I eat then the quicker I’m likely to recover. There is no hard and fast rule as to when taste buds are likely to return, it could be up to & beyond 3 months from the end of treatment, this is really depressing me I’m afraid. A decent evening meal of fish & veg followed by rice pudding may help. An early night & hopefully a better day on Wednesday, I’m going to try & get out of the house, even if it’s just walking to the Post Office or something.

Wednesday started off as a “Duvet Day”, I didn’t actually get out of my pit until gone 11am, I’d had a poor night waking up at around 3am & really struggled to get back to sleep. The most productive part of the day was going to the Post Office & finally getting my passport sent off for renewal. Other than that it was what most people would probably call a wasted day, I prefer to think of it as “Recovery”. 

I’ve been chatting to someone who’s been through treatment, but in a more invasive way than me & she’s advised to look out of the “Down Days”, they’ll come at you when you least expect them & can be total bastards. We didn’t go to OBR for Colts training as Max had badly cut his hand on Monday when diving to catch a dog who was about to run across a busy road…….. ?????? No point in getting dirt into a cut, especially as he hasn’t got a match on Sunday anyway.

Thursday was another “Average” day. Albeit I did get into town to get a bracket to put a TV up on the bedroom wall, what an exciting life eh? Whilst in M&S I bumped into someone that everyone needs, we all need a Sidney 

A good chat about the big match on Saturday at OBR, we both agreed that it’s a must win match for Rams.

 I thought I’d give you a feeling of what I actually do all day, it’s not exactly riveting, you’ve been warned –

Get up around 8.45am as I hear Max slamming the front door on his way to school. Decide what I want for breakfast, eventually settle for an Ensure drink & cup of coffee. Log on to the PC & check FB & Twitter, then onto the BBC website to see what’s going on in the world. Around 10’ish it’ll be onto the sofa to watch a couple of episodes of Breaking Bad, I’m up to series 4 now. Then the decision about what to have for lunch. Today it was chicken thigh simply roasted (boring, but still can’t handle any seasoning) followed by rice pudding & a crème caramel. The afternoon will usually be spent on the sofa, I’ll download a film to watch from Netflix & invariably be asleep within 15 minutes of it starting L The early part of the evening will be spent prep’ing & cooking dinner for Carol & Max & then making whatever tasteless mush I’ll be eating myself. I’ll probably be in bed between 9 & 9.30pm & will read for an hour or so. Sleep will come whilst listening to Radio 4 Extra. Repeat daily until I don’t know when.

As you can see from the above I’m becoming a tad morose about things at the moment. I think I know why. Back in December when I first went to see the specialist there was a pathway laid out ahead of me. I knew that I’d be having my biopsy on a certain date, I knew my first appointment & diagnoses with Scary would be on Christmas Eve. RT & Chemo would start on specific dates, & that it would last for 6 weeks. You see everything had a start, middle & end. Until now. Now I feel like I’m in limbo & just waiting for something to happen. No one is able to give me a date as to when I’ll be able to taste food again, when I’ll stop feeling like crap, when I’ll be able to get back to work, when I’ll know if the bastard Cancer is beaten or not. It could be anything from 3 months to 12 months & that’s difficult to handle at the moment. Just having a “Target Date” would be an improvement, something to aim for.

Friday came into the category of just another day, a trip to Maplin to get cables hides & an aerial extension for the bedroom. Breaking Bad. Deciding what to have for lunch & dinner………….. oh the excitement! Luckily the afternoon was broken up by some friends coming round for a cup of tea & cream cakes, well they had the cream cakes, I just had tea! It was good to see them & good of them to come round. Makes me think I need to get out more & see folk.

I’m looking forward to Saturday. As previously mentioned Rams will be taking on Southend RFC. A five point win will go some way to ensuring National 2 Rugby will be played at OBR again next season. There’s also the small matter of Spike Chandler currently sitting on 999 League points! Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be able to grab the shot as he smashes through the 1,000 point mark, I’d have a small wager that it’ll be either a penalty or conversion that gets the points, but you never know………………… 

The Hors D’oeuvre’s will be served up on Saturday evening. Firstly Anna will be home from Uni for the Easter holiday & secondly England travel to Paris to hopefully win their first grand slam for 13 years!

As always, thank you for continuing to read what is becoming a slightly boring & repetitive blog.

To be continued…………………………

#Shouldertoshoulder