The Road to Nowhere 

Week 7

I wasn’t sure whether to post a blog up on not this week, but I think the events of last weekend probably need recording. I’ll warn you that I’m not at all complementary of the NHS weekend service, however this in no way reflects the wonderful treatment I’ve received from the Cancer specialists.

Saturday 28^th > Tuesday 1^st – “The Doctors says he’s comin’, but you gotta pay him cash”

Well they weren’t kidding when they told me it would get worse in the week following treatment, so far it’s been total & utter pants.

On Saturday morning at 6.30am Carol & I rocked up to A&E on advice of the Cancer Helpline I have access to. Again the Red Book worked its magic & I was in a private cubicle seeing a Dr. within 5 minutes of arriving. I’d managed to pick up a rather nasty infection which was having an unpleasant effect on my body. My blood pressure was also down at dangerously low levels. I was transferred up to Hunter Ward within an hour of arriving. Now for the only bit of “Light Relief” in this post. Around about 35 years ago I met Carol whilst I was in hospital having broken my legs in a motorbike accident, she was nursing me on Hunter Ward when we met J

The Dr. who I saw initially on Hunter has probably the worst bedside manner I’ve ever had the misfortune to be on the end of. She seemed to be planning her next question before listening to my answer of her last one. She peaked with “Does this happen to you every time you have Cancer?” – I’m afraid at this point she got both barrels from me, I totally lost it with her. We eventually reached a compromise, she’d listen to my answers & I wouldn’t call her a moron again. Treatment was agreed upon, but it didn’t work & was probably the most painful experience I’ve ever had inflicted on me. The nurse & Dr. both agreed that it wasn’t going to work & wouldn’t be done again. This was around midday on Saturday. I next saw a Senior Dr on Sunday morning, accompanied by the original Dr. He suggested the treatment that had previously failed. She agreed with him, despite telling me the previous day that it would not work. I really got the impression she was sucking up to her boss. I refused this treatment. At this point the Senior Dr. said I may as well go home then & let time take its course. He also told me that I should have gone to my GP rather than A&E. At this point I felt as low as it’s possible to feel. I just wanted to curl up into a ball & hide. So far, with the odd blip, the treatment I’ve received since Christmas has been utterly wonderful. This episode makes me feel like a fraud who was wasting the time of the NHS. Needless to say Carol came to get me as soon as she could from the hospital, I went to bed when I got home & I’m afraid to say I hardly moved until Tuesday morning, I felt destroyed & let down. Since Friday evening I’d eaten one slice of toast & had two energy drinks. I was offered food in the hospital that isn’t suitable for someone who’s had RT on their throat. The nurses kept bringing my solid pain killers, despite me bringing in my own meds which are all in liquid form.

Tuesday was a bit better. Wise words from a trusted friend had a positive effect on my mind set & helped with a problem I’ve got to face up to. Equally a parcel of “Goodies” from friends has brought a massive smile to my face. Ok, maybe I can’t eat them yet, but boy of boy, when I can…….. I was due to go out with a mate this evening, but I’m not really up to it. Unlikely I’ll get out at all this week which is going to be tough, I imagine I’ll be climbing the walls by the weekend! 4 walls & Walter White do not make for a happy bunny.

The pain levels have been really strange so far this week. At times it’s been at a massive level where I’m shaking whilst getting the Morphine into my body. Then at other times it almost feels as if nothing is wrong with me at all, I know which one I prefer.

The call with Jo, CSN Nurse, on Tuesday was very positive. I relayed the events of the weekend to her & she was genuinely shocked about the “Does this happen every time………” comment, so much so that she wanted the Dr’s name, shame I can’t recall. She’s going to call me again on Thursday to see how I’m getting on & potentially get me in to see Scary Surgeon in that afternoons clinic. Possible that I may have to be readmitted to sort of fluid levels, but if that is the case it’ll be on a Cancer ward not a general surgery ward.

Let’s finish this last bit with a bit of humour. Whilst rushing to the loo yesterday I managed to get sat down & was smacked on the head by the ironing board that’s stored in the downstairs loo. I could almost see the Newspaper headlines, “Man gets knocked unconscious by ironing board  whilst on the toilet”

Wednesday 2^nd > Friday 4th

Another new symptom hit around 2am on Wednesday morning, I woke coughing so badly that I nearly threw up, worryingly there was a small amount of blood in my mouth. Carol got out the Nebuliser, morphine & other drugs & I eventually settled down again after about 40 minutes. Now this is ok for me, but it means that Carol has had yet another disturbed nights sleep. I may get to the stage of sleeping on the sofa downstairs, especially as she’ll be going back to work in the next 10 days or so.

I’ve received a couple of emails from folk I do work with, nice to get contact from the outside world, even if one of them is now living it up in the flesh pots of Dubai J As I said earlier, I’m beginning to look at the four walls a bit like a prison at the moment. It’s over a week since I’ve been out, other than to the hospital. It’s taking it’s toll watching Television all day long - Marquee Moon

Thursday was a much more positive day. Whilst I’m still in a lot of discomfort I’m managing to control the pain. As promised Jo called & asked me to go into ENT clinic that afternoon. They were truly shocked at the treatment I received over the weekend. Long & short is that I’m not going to be admitted at the moment. Jo will call me again next week to reassess the position, so long as I’m eating & drinking they’ll leave me alone. I’m pretty pleased about this for a couple of reasons. Being admitted would result in having a feeding tube stuffed down my throat, not pleasant at all I’d imagine. It would also mean another weekend in RBH rather than at home with my family. Mind you, as Anna is home for the weekend it may be a cheaper option J

Evil Twin kindly offered to pick up Anna from St Noets station on Thursday afternoon and drop her off with us until Sunday. It’s nice seeing her again after 5 or 6 weeks, even if she’s seeing me at perhaps my lowest ebb.

Friday has been another pretty low day, I’ve hardly moved from the sofa, but at least I’ve eaten some soup & a fried egg so far. I’m not confident in getting up to OBR tomorrow to watch the Centaurs & 5’s play, may not be the best idea in my current state. The Rams are off to Dorking for a massive match for both teams. I’ll be following the twitter feed closely. A win is what the Dr. ordered please guys.

Max is playing over at Chinnor on Sunday in a OBB League match, I’m going to try my hardest to be fit enough to watch that game.

Finally, the opening photo shows the side effects of the RT treatment, these only came out this week & will hopefully not last too long. E45 cream is being slapped on every couple of hours & to be honest it probably looks worse than it feels.

To be continued……………………….

#Shouldertoshoulder