WEEK 2 OF TREATMENT

A Rollercoaster Ride, Warts ‘n All

Updates & other rubbish also appear here - https://www.facebook.com/paul.clark.52056

Monday 25^th

Today was a good day. I felt pretty fit when I got up, I guess that’s down to having two days without treatment. I managed to do a full mornings work for the first time in a while, which I suspect my boss will be pleased about. A massive lunch of reheated casserole & dumplings was followed by my weekly update with my consultant. She’s a scary old bird, think of a cross between Penelope Keith in To the Manor Born & a young Princess Ann & you won’t be far off.

I don’t think she suffers fools gladly, I should really stop trying to crack jokes about selling drugs on the streets of Reading. My weight has increased again (Good), I’ve been told to drink lots of milk (Bad, can’t stand the stuff), A whole new set of drugs prescribed (Good, I can sell them), Stop eating spicy food (Bad news, very bad news!). The kindle, iPod & phone are all on charge ahead of the 8 hour marathon Chemo session tomorrow, but I’m prepared this week for the boredom.

Haggis is bubbling away on the hob for the Burns Night supper, just don’t tell Scary Bird Consultant that I’m eating spicy stuff. (Or that I’m pouring a Single Malt over the top).

Tuesday 26^th

Not such a great one today. The second Chemo session meant I had 8 hours to sit around & turn things over in my mind, not always a good thing to do. There’s a very judgemental chap on the same sessions as me. Today he was looking around the other guests in the Chemo suite & making calls on their lives & their backgrounds. There’s the mum with two teenage kids who always come in with her. She’s got tattoos, various piercings and arrives with a Sports Direct “Bag for Life”. There’s Mrs Twin Set & Pearls who looks like she’s more used to a 5* Hotel than an ex Children’s ward. There’s new young couple. She comes in on crutches & has a neck brace on. He thinks they look like loves young dream. Two “Old Boys” make up the contingent this morning. They spend their time chatting about the days they spent in the services, they laugh & joke with the nurses. They seem fairly resigned to their fate. That leaves the tall skinny bloke who spends his time listening to his iPod & making judgement calls on everyone else. He’s a bit of an arse today to be honest. At first sight it would appear that this disparate bunch have only one thing in common & that’s that they’re all being treated for some form of cancer at the same time. But there’s something else they all share………….. Miss “Sports Direct” mum & her kids are scared. Mr & Mrs Twin Set are scared. New Young Couple are scared. The old timers are scared. Tall skinny bloke is scared. Behind the mask of “How Are You Today?” “Oh I’m fine, thanks for asking” we’re all facing unknowns & it’s frightening. The faces might be smiling, but if you look into the eyes………… “The Man in the mirror has sad eyes” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tI_k_EodwwA

After the Chemo it was a 50 minute wait to get Radiotherapy done. I’m afraid I got a bit “Spiky” with the nurses on RT. 50 minutes of sitting around when there were only 2 of us waiting for treatment & not one member of staff explained why we were delayed. After 8 hours of treatment I was feeling knackered & not overly well, I just wanted to go home. The other person sitting waiting was “Sports Direct” Mum. We chatted, compared our treatments, moaned about waiting around & found out we’ve a lot in common! She’s no longer “Sports Direct” Mum she’s now Julia, & Mr Judgemental has been taught a bloody good lesson today. The lesson today is don’t judge a book by its cover!

I’m afraid I was still in a pretty shit mood when I got back home. Instead of drop kicking Penny over the garden fence (Its ok, she’s a cat & I doubt I’d have caught her)

I took it out on Carol & Max by being grumpy, monosyllabic, & generally a tosser! Not what they need when they are also going through crap, so I hope it won’t happen again!

The only real upside from today is that I’ve now got 6 month’s supply of liquid paracetamol & liquid ibuprofen sitting in my office at home, so if anyone wants to buy some drugs……. 

Wednesday 27th

Oh bollox! It appears as though my taste buds are on their way out a bit earlier than I’d hoped. I couldn’t taste the bacon roll I had at the hospital before treatment this morning. I knew that tasting food would end up being a problem but I’d hoped at least to get into the forth week of treatment. Those who know me well will know that I love cooking & I love food. The thought of tasting bland crap for the next couple of months doesn’t fill me with joy. Maybe I’ll go for the OTT solution & stick extra chillies into everything I cook, that’ll keep Carol & Max on their toes.

 I had a really bad night, waking at 1am & again at 3.30am, I eventually gave up & came downstairs to read at 4am. A decent treatment this morning as I dropped off to sleep listening to Neil Young.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O1v_7T6p8U The Radiotherapists seem to find it amusing that I’m able to sleep with the mask on, they should try getting up at 4am!

Some good news to impart today, No. 1 daughter is coming home tomorrow night for the weekend & she’s requested that fish is prominent on the menu. I can see a trip to Smelly Alley being on the cards after treatment on Friday morning. No training again for the Colts tonight, the weather just isn’t playing ball, shame really as Max could do with a blow out, & I’m getting a bit of cabin fever at the moment. I’ve set him this challenge for the match down in Horsham on Sunday - https://www.facebook.com/rugbydump/videos/10153424628152339/?fref=nf should he choose to accept it.

Tomorrow I’ve my weekly update with the Head Radiographer, I’m going ask if she can get one of the CNS Nurses to contact me as I’m not feeling overly positive at the moment & could do with a one to one chat to ascertain if what I’m feeling is normal for this stage of treatment. I know they’re busy ladies so it may have to wait until next week. #suckitupclarky

Oh, I’ve found a way to drink two pints of milk a day without gagging – chopped banana, scoop of ice cream, pint of milk, wiz it in the blender, hold your nose & down in one…………. Repeat three hours later.

A very strange call with my Mad as a Hatter father ended the day on a bit of a sour note. He was asking why I hadn’t done the 9 hour round trip to deepest darkest Wales in the last couple of weeks to see my mum who’s been in hospital since October, and is unlikely to return home again. This is despite being told I’m undergoing daily cancer treatment & I can’t risk the chance of picking up an infection. I get two days off from treatment, I don’t really want to waste them spending ½ hour with someone who doesn’t recognise me any longer (Mum has Multi Infacia Stroke dementia ). I’d rather spend it with my immediate family. That may sound harsh, but there’s a saying “You can choose your friends, you can’t choose your family.”

Thursday 28^th

Chemo, the gift that keeps giving! At 1am this morning a lovely new symptom arrived in the form of deep, deep, heartburn followed by waves of nausea. Even the cat who had somehow sneaked her way on to the bed shot off as I sat bolt upright with a loud exclamation of “F**k”. A course of tablets eventually controlled the event & lovely lie in until 5.30am followed. One advantage of getting up early was to see Mercury, Venus & Mars in a very clear morning sky.

I had a long meeting with the Head Radiographer today. She confirmed that all the symptoms I’m seeing at the moment are to be expected, albeit perhaps a week or so ahead of where she’d initially thought they would have started. She’s confirmed that my taste buds are now shot to pieces until after the treatment has finished. Whilst I’m still gaining weight the challenge will now be to maintain where I am if my appetite for tasteless food diminishes. I’ll be meeting the dietician next week & she’ll be able to give me tips on food I’m likely to be able to get down & enjoy. (Large Donor Kebabs perhaps) In the past I used to live to eat, guess it’ll now be eat to live for a while. Tomato soup at lunch time today, heavily laced with tabasco, tasted of sod all. Liver and bacon this evening, may have to chuck in a couple of bird eye chillies……… 

Friday 29^th

Oh sleep, what’s happened? We used to be such good friends. I’m now lucky if I see you more than a couple of hours at a time. Have you found someone else? Last session of the week this morning, then it’ll be a case of trying to relax and recharge the batteries ahead of Monday.  Thai Fish Broth with Sea Bass this evening, it’ll look wonderful I’m sure, but will taste like cardboard.  To try & knacker myself out for some sleep I took the returned daughter into town for a wander. A new pair of boots (for her) & a pleasant lunch at Cau seemed to do the trick, even though a glass of Malbec would have gone down well.   

Rams are playing Clifton at home tomorrow. The forecast looks ok, so I’ll try & get some shots done. Suspect this will be the last home game I get to for a while. 5 points would be nice boys, no pressure J

Overall this week has been a bit shit when I read back these musings. But it hasn’t all been bad, here’s some positives to end the week on -

• ·         Daughter came home for the weekend – Albeit to get cash.
• ·         I’m still ok to drive, nice trip to Horsham planned with Max for Sunday.
• ·         Loads of drugs within easy reach. (For sale to the highest bidder!).
• ·         1/3^rd of the way through the treatment.
• ·         I think I’m becoming a less judgemental person.
• ·         The cat hasn’t been kicked over the fence.
• ·         The immediate “Clan of Clark 3” are bloody brilliant.
• ·         The rest of you who read these ramblings are pretty darn good too.
• ·         I haven’t really wanted a drink this week.

& finally…………… next week, on 4^th February its World Cancer Day. Probably worth a couple of quid if you can support - http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/support-us/donate/world-cancer-day

To be continued…………..

#shouldertoshoulder